Seeing Beyond Behaviors: How to Truly Understand Your Team

In the fast-paced business world, leaders often rely on observable actions and behaviors to gauge the performance and morale of their teams. But this approach can lead to misunderstandings if we don’t dig deeper. While visible and tangible, actions or behaviors don’t always equate to a person’s true intentions or feelings. The only way to truly understand someone’s perspective is through meaningful conversation.

Our Brains Are Naturally Designed To Make Decisions

Our brains are designed to make decisions quickly. We can't avoid this natural tendency; these brain "shortcuts" can be advantageous and limiting. Making these quick decisions is called cognitive heuristics, and its purpose is to simplify our decision-making processes. While these shortcuts help us respond quickly in complex situations, they can also lead to assumptions that don’t always reflect reality.

Assumptions are a natural part of human cognition but can create barriers in professional relationships. To avoid misjudgments, engaging in open conversations and asking clarifying questions is essential.

If not aware, it could lead to attributing someone’s behavior to their character rather than considering factors. For example, if a team member is silent during meetings, we might assume they’re disengaged, overlooking that they might be deep in thought or dealing with personal stress. In turn because we have created this "short-cut" we will quickly look for confimriaton of this newly process belief. The Belief is confirmed through our pre-existing beliefs, causing us to misinterpret behaviors based on our assumptions rather than facts.

How To Recognize It In Real Life

It’s easy to make 'knee-jerk' judgments based on observable actions, but these assumptions often miss the mark. Let’s explore two common scenarios where assumptions can lead us astray.

Scenario 1: The Quiet Employee

What It Looks Like: A team member who rarely speaks up during meetings might be perceived as disengaged or uninterested. Their silence could be misinterpreted as a lack of contribution or even a sign that they’re not invested in the team’s success.

Case Study: Imagine Sarah, a talented analyst, who consistently delivers high-quality work but rarely shares her thoughts in team discussions. Her manager assumes she’s just not a team player. However, in a one-on-one conversation, Sarah reveals that she’s been struggling with anxiety about speaking up in a group setting.

Application Tips for Leaders:

• Check-In Privately: Take the time to engage with the employee in a private setting. Ask open-ended questions to understand what might be holding them back from participating.
• Encourage Gradual Participation: Offer support by encouraging them to share their thoughts in smaller, less intimidating settings before larger group meetings.
• Create a Safe Space: Make it clear that all contributions are valued and that there’s no pressure to speak up until they feel comfortable.

Scenario 2: The Abrasive Employee

What It Looks Like: An employee who communicates in a blunt or seemingly aggressive manner might be quickly labeled as difficult or uncooperative. This behavior could be assumed to reflect their attitude or lack of teamwork.

Case Study: John, a project manager, is known for his direct communication style, which some colleagues find abrasive. However, when his supervisor addresses the issue, John explains that he’s under immense pressure to meet tight deadlines, and his tone is a result of stress rather than intentional rudeness.

Application Tips for Leaders:

• Address the Issue with Empathy: Approach the conversation with empathy, acknowledging the stress they may be under while discussing the impact of their communication style on the team.
• Offer Support: Suggest ways to manage stress and improve communication, such as stress management resources or training in effective communication techniques. If you company as EAP (Employee Assistance Program) as a benefit, this a great resource to refer. that has complimentary service with qualified professionals.
• Monitor Progress: Follow up regularly to ensure that the employee is finding better ways to manage their stress and communicate more effectively.

Conclusion: Moving Beyond

In the professional world, it’s easy to make assumptions based on actions alone. But true understanding comes from engagement and communication. By taking the time to connect with others, we not only improve relationships but also make more informed and compassionate decisions as leaders.

Next Steps: Taking Action

Reflect on your interactions this week. Identify one assumption you’ve made about a colleague or team member, and take the time to have a conversation with them. You might be surprised by what you learn. If you’re interested in further developing your leadership and communication skills, consider professional coaching—I’d be happy to offer a complimentary session to explore how I can support your growth.