SEEING THE BEST FOR +++ CHANGE

Joyful Thanksgiving Everyone!

Has life thrown you some sinkers? How challenging has it been for you to emerge through these difficulties? This Thanksgiving provides some PAUSE, to reflection on so many blessings that persist as sources of positivity. I've enumerated some of my own below. Perhaps, you will want to formulate your own list?

1. Parents that supported me. 2. A wife and family that have loved me and inspired me to greater purpose. 3. A fantastic role in the world, where I'm able to make a measurable impact in lives, some of whom never knew me. 4. A group of mentors, professors, and educational leaders that have emboldened me to reach, to learn, so that I could freely give it back, to grow, and to ultimately reflect a better version of myself. 5. Trusted friends, who have been loyal through my lifetime. 6. Opportunities to help others, and sometimes to sacrifice for them, which has paradoxically benefited me- to make me to feel used up, necessary, and at peace. 7. A balance of new and existing relationships, in which through sharing, we make some small improvements in each others lives. 8. Our country, our committed citizenry, that do their best in respective industries, insuring that commerce abounds, that more people may benefit from strengthening economies. All of which, perpetuates a virtuous cycle. 9. We enjoy freedom to pursue any path we wish.

So, why should I/we/anybody ever have the blues? Why should any of us be caught in the trap of sadness? Because life and its circumstances happen to all of us.?

Many outcomes are not ideal. Consider these-?a) death of a family member or any loved one for that matter. 2) unforeseen health catastrophes. 3) Separation of the job that you loved. 4) Long-term loss of income. 5) Bankruptcy. 6) Divorce. 7) Imprisonment......and the list goes on.

Some of us will experience these and others setbacks in our lifetimes. EMPOWERMENT suggests a personal control to weather these storms and such power comes from the strength of our thinking, where I wish to focus these thoughts today.

Appreciative Inquiry - is actually used in "change management" strategies for organizations. We also may do well to practice it in our lives. Appreciative inquiry stays focused on identifying what is working well, analyzing why it is performing so well and?then doing more of it. The basic tenant is that an organization will grow in whichever direction that people in the organization focus their attention.?

Science demonstrates that all of us, operate within 3-5 strengths, which I believe are likely bestowed upon us at our birth. Most certainly, we sharpened and developed these powers, but I perceive these strengths as a gift.?They can be improved, and they are natural.?Sometimes, we don't have certain gifts. We can spend countless hours trying to get better in these areas. However, these attributes lacking, aren't natural and I suspect we'll likely never be great in areas of weakness.?

I wasn't blessed with overwhelming speed as a youngster. I could have spent countless hours at the track and likely improved my speed marginally, but would it have been worth the effort??

If speed, was a natural gift of mine, making that commitment would seem prudent, because the difference between good and great IS measured in fractional increments.?

Therefore, perhaps we should become investigators of our gifts, sharpen ourselves around these strengths and then spiral them into the world, whenever we can.?

As importantly, we can become "noticers" of fabulous gifts that others possess, and where we may have influence in family or organization; try to situate these gifted people in the very best spot where they can maximize others. I'm not a finance person. I'm more of a people person, not that the two are necessarily mutually exclusive. However, I'm sure glad that I have strong finance people in my circle of influence. They aid in my understanding and personal effectiveness.

The point is this! Human nature is deeply flawed. We tend to focus on what is wrong, rather than what is RIGHT. Even when hundreds of areas in our life are spot-on- perfecto............we tend to obsess on single areas of deficiency. How self-defeating is that? And the truth is that is much harder to fix the wrong than it is to make the right (the strengths/the gifts), that much more shiny, useful, and value-producing. We should stay keenly directed toward all the right-good-gifted areas of our lives. Not only does it make us more effective, but it increases our knowledge, appreciation and gratitude, which is?directly correlated to contentment, if not outright joy.

Generative Gratitude- suggests that we are capable of producing feelings of gratitude within ourselves. It is a wonderful idea and surely empowers us. When did you last receive something you didn't expect? Was it an unexpected bonus? A new car that your spouse surprised you with? A health problem that couldn't be overcome, and yet you beat the illness? A kind word from a friend, that made you cry? All of these circumstances happen serendipitously. They are exogenous to us but they certainly make us grateful. And we all know how good a feeling that this is.....you are happy because you received something that you didn't expect to receive. You are full up to the brim, overflowing with joy, content, happy, whatever adjective you want to use. Such a feeling, wants to pay it forward to others, which inspires more gratitude, and more positivity in the relationship cycle.

Why does gratitude have to come from an exogenous circumstance that provides the feeling? It doesn't. You can generate the sense of peace and profound good feeling by generating it, from appreciation of what you've become through a trial. That is, by being grateful for every single thing that happens in your life,?whether good or bad,including the seven painful life circumstances listed above in bold. You generate your own gratitude because you SEE-SUPER-BIG, that there is silver lining, a miracle in everything!

1. Loss of a love one is a chance to grow, perhaps fill the void that their enormous vacancy made possible. It an opportunity to reflect on the blessing they were in your life, what you learned from them, and how you can touch another the same way they reached you. You were so fortunate to have known them. While physically gone, their lessons and legacy stay with you.
2. We are sick! Terminally sick. There is not a lot to say temporally about the fact that our hardware ultimately fails. I've watched many go through that transition- my father, my son, and several friends- I watched them all tackle the breakdown with resolve, and they were refined as people. Their spiritual touch on those that remained (at least for a while) was immense. It is something that I hope each of them was grateful for.....the growth and the influence that rose in spite of physical demise. I learned by watching them and hope that to handle my own health future with such grace.
3. You lost your job, and your income, and your ability to provide. And perhaps, had your self-esteem damaged at the same time? Maybe you're having a difficult time, finding a replacement role that inspires you? You?will?make it through and the experience will make all the difference in your development and future. Perhaps, you will start your own business? Maybe, you will find a better job? The inflection in the urgent track you were on, took up all of your time. Maybe, pause/reflection/renewal was lost during these years? Now, blessedly, you have time to recollect, reconnect, and recapitulate a brand new path, that may never have been visible, without this painful separation.

The point is clear I know! We don't really see the rainbow until after the rain We can't have the lovely break of day without the midnight. The birds always welcome us in song, AFTER the storm.?

To help us to generate GRATITUDE BECAUSE OF OUR STORMS, let me close with this little story, that has been oft told, but shows us that there is an ENORMOUS silver lining to any MANURE that appears in our lives.

The story concerns twin boys of five or six. Worried that the boys had developed extreme personalities – one was a total pessimist, the other a total optimist – their parents took them to a psychiatrist.”

“First the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with brand-new toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. 'What's the matter?' the psychiatrist asked, baffled. 'Don't you want to play with any of the toys?' 'Yes,' the little boy bawled, 'but if I did I'd only break them.'”

“Next the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen his out look, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist emitted just the yelp of delight the psychiatrist had been hoping to hear from his brother, the pessimist. Then he clambered to the top of the pile, dropped to his knees, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop with his bare hands. 'What do you think you're doing?' the psychiatrist asked, just as baffled by the optimist as he had been by the pessimist. 'With all this manure,' the little boy replied,?beaming, 'there must be a pony in here somewhere!'”

Happy Thanksgiving to all! May we make every day a day of personal empowerment playing on the single disposition within our control- our attitude! May we be "noticers" for appreciation, and we will generate gratitude within ourselves, helping others to see the same, even in the midst of the numerous life challenges that we'll all face!