The seed of good

For the past several years, I’ve written a Thanksgiving column that often began with a quote from President Lincoln’s 1863 Thanksgiving address -– the first in an unbroken string of autumn thanksgiving proclamations by United States Presidents.

It’s the first time in 11 years that I haven’t spent the week of Thanksgiving deep in the weeds of a newsroom or mailroom production schedule. That being said, I still wanted to write my annual essay on thankfulness — and Lincoln’s quote remains an excellent prompt.

“The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies,” said Lincoln.

Sitting down this evening, I wrestled with that passage as I began to write. In a year marked by a devastating viral pandemic, economic uncertainty, misinformation, disinformation, vitriol–and the list goes on and on–I wondered how could I reckon that 2020 had been filled with blessings, that of fruitful fields and healthful skies?

Then it dawned on me. President Lincoln hadn’t made this address amid economic growth, enduring peace and certainly not unity across the nation. No, Lincoln had proclaimed that a year of blessings was drawing to a close in the heat of the American Civil War — an event that ultimately led to the loss of 625,000 American lives during four years in which the nation was at war with itself.

At a time when the nation’s total population was just over 31 million, nearly two percent of its people were lost as a dark cloud hung above the country. Two percent, how about that? It’s almost as if we’ve heard that figure somewhere recently.

I’m reminded of another quote that a friend shared with me during a difficult time in my own life. Author Og Mandino said:

“Search for the seed of good in every adversity. Master that principle and you will own a precious shield that will guard you well through all the darkest valleys you must traverse. Stars may be seen from the bottom of a deep well, when they cannot be discerned from the mountaintop. So will you learn things in adversity that you would never have discovered without trouble. There is always a seed of good. Find it and prosper.”

So, if Lincoln was able to find even a seed of good in an adversity as destructive as war between brothers, then maybe I could see 2020 for more than the headlines.

This is not to discount the very real pain caused by a public health emergency, incompetence and indifference at the highest levels of leadership, a system designed to accelerate the interests of some people and hinder those of others or any other extenuating circumstances that real people face every day.

This is not a “just work hard and everything works out” essay. That is a lie that we tell ourselves to justify our tolerance of a broken system which creates the appearance of a zero-sum game. The truth is, that while hard work and perseverance play a real role in the destiny of each individual, and while we do maintain an incredible level of agency in our personal lives, luck (some call it fate, others divine intervention) and privilege are without a doubt contributing factors — and I’ve been the beneficiary of both in my life.

I am thankful for the providence shown me along the way, and the lessons I’ve been taught when my will has been stretched and bent to the point of breaking.

And with that, I am grateful for the lessons of 2020 — though many of them have not been pleasant. I will not dismiss the year that I experienced an awakening, the year that my eyes were opened to things that had eluded me in years prior — even when it was my profession to understand the minutia of what was taking place around me.

Two years ago, I was on the brink of financial ruin, in between jobs and as a man in my 30s with two children I had moved back in with my parents to make ends meet and get back on my feet. I had just experienced a very painful exit from a relationship that begun in my formative years and had lasted for more than a decade.

It was hard for me to see the fruitful fields and healthful skies. I had a difficult time finding the seed of good for a while.

But looking back today, two years later, I can see just how far I’ve come.

In 2020, I made myself get uncomfortable. I stood up on principle and refused to prioritize profits over people. In 2020, I let go of the rope and jumped off the cliff. I quit a well-paying job in the middle of an economic shutdown that saw unemployment rising to 20 percent or more. I made an unexpected career move and have rediscovered my passion for communication and story.

The highlight of this year was the day that I married my best friend. After a very difficult divorce, I wasn’t sure any longer how I felt about marriage. But then, a beautiful, wise and discerning woman revealed to me that love is so much more than an expensive party and a piece of paper. She showed me how to trust, how to confide, how to challenge myself by allowing someone else to challenge me, and how to love again. My soul found the one whom it loves and joined itself with her — in 2020.

This was the year that I got to watch my children grow and mature, ever-developing their unique personalities and gifts. This was the year that we bought a home. This was the year that we turned obstacles into opportunities.

We turned work from home and virtual school into the most time I’ve ever spent with my kids in their young lives. I turned three hours of commuting each day into a schedule for an MBA program that I’ve been wanting to finish for years. We turned the inability to travel and visit others into an intimacy that makes a couple of newlyweds understand each other and work together like a couple that has been married for decades.

I’ve built LEGO sets with my son. I’ve taught my daughter chords on the piano and guitar. I’ve joined my bride for a midday trip to the dog park instead of working through lunch at my desk. I’ve started cycling again, working out and prioritizing my health. We learned to cook new dishes together. We dusted off the board games and scheduled family movie nights. This year I’ve read more than 50 books and expanded my horizons.

So, yes. This year has certainly been a year that many will be prone to dismiss and forget. There are aspects of it that I will not miss. But to pretend that 2020 only brought the headlines we read and the soundbites that we hear lacks perspective.

I encourage you, friends, to look for the seed of good.

Sometimes you’ll see something in the valley, that you might not have been able to see from the mountaintop.

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.” Psalm 28:7

Happy Thanksgiving.