'See You Again' - A Self Reflection

I grew up on a small island (Pulau Brani) in Singapore and as a kid, I remember telling my dad proudly that I am going to be very successful when I grow up. I recall asking him;- ‘Can you give me any tips on how to get there?’ My dad nodded and without saying a word, took me by the hand and walked to his nearby nursery. There, we chose two small saplings and he planted one of them in the back yard and the other sapling was placed in a pot and kept indoors. "Which one do you think will grow better and be the more successful one in the future?" he asked. Obviously, I said, "The indoor tree.” It's protected and safe while the outdoor one has to cope with many elements and uncertainties. I recalled my dad shrugged his shoulders and said, "We'll see."

As I understand he carefully tended to both plants every day. Over the years, the one planted in the backyard grew and blossomed into a huge tree providing us with the needed shades while the indoor tree barely grew much. It didn’t make much sense to me at that point as like I have said, the tree outside has to cope with so many more challenges than the one inside. Seeing my confusion then, my old man smiled and said, "Yes, but the risk of dealing with challenges is worth it as it has the freedom to spread its roots wide and its leaves towards the sky. Remember this my son and you be successful in whatever you do; If you choose the safe option all of your life, you may never grow and be all that you can be albeit if you are willing to face the world head-on, with all of its dangers and challenges, the sky's the limit." The same is also true for all of us.

A fear of the unknown keeps a lot of people from living up to life's challenges, uncertainties and even leaving bad situations. Have you ever thought about it, about simply leaving? Seriously, really, truly thought about it with the intent to follow through and not as a dream or a passing fancy? You’re allowed to leave any story you don’t find yourself in, any story you don’t love yourself in, even in the face of anxiety. You’re allowed to leave a city that has dimmed your light instead of making you shine brighter, you’re allowed to pack all your bags and start over somewhere else and you’re allowed to redefine the meaning of your life. You’re allowed to quit the job you hate even if the world tells you not to and you’re allowed to search for something that makes you look forward to tomorrow and to the rest of your life.

You’re allowed to leave someone you love if they’re treating you poorly, you’re allowed to put yourself first if you’re settling and you’re allowed to walk away when you’ve tried over and over again but nothing has changed. You’re allowed to let toxic friends go, you’re allowed to surround yourself with love and people who encourage and nurture you. You’re allowed to pick the kind of energy you need in your life. You’re allowed to forgive yourself for your biggest and smallest mistakes and you’re allowed to be kind to yourself, you’re allowed to look in the mirror and actually like the person you see. You’re allowed to set yourself free from your own expectations to face the World.

Great challenges allow for great expansion. If we did not have the challenges, would we even seek the solutions? Choosing the safe paths, often cannot create great successes. All great leaders have taken risks, be it in business, political and even personal life. Many times, amazing paths reveal themselves out of great adversity. Think of the difficult times in your life. Can you say you have learned a lesson? Can you say a few years later that a wonderful path revealed itself out of those times? I certainly can, with all the pain I have experienced in my life, many good things have revealed themselves to me as a direct result of the pain. I am not saying pain is necessary albeit when it happens, there's a beautiful silver lining to it almost every time.

Likewise, I have learned that if I must leave a place that I have lived in, loved and where all my yesteryears are buried deep, leave it the fastest way I can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is not! It is dead, gone and not turning back. We sometimes look at leaving as a bad thing or associate it with giving up or quitting albeit sometimes leaving is the best thing you can do for yourself. If you are brave enough to say goodbye life will reward you with a new hello. Narrative Risk and like I have always said;- See you again!! Leave something for someone but don’t leave someone for something.

Leaving allows you to change directions, to start over, to rediscover yourself and the world. Leaving sometimes saves you from staying stuck in the wrong place with the wrong stuffs and/or wrong people. It’s hard to say goodbye, especially to people, stuffs and places we love. However, sometimes we must move on for the sake of our personal growth. Leaving opens a new door for change, growth, opportunities and redemption. You always have the choice to leave until you find where you belong and what makes you happy. You’re even allowed to leave the old you behind and reinvent yourself. Leaving things behind and starting again is a way of coping with difficulties. I learnt very early in my life that I was able to leave a place and still remain myself. If my world were to cave in tomorrow, I would look back on all the pleasures, excitements and worthwhileness I have been lucky enough to have had. Not the sadness, not the misses, never the regrets and goodbyes but the joy of everything else. It will have been enough albeit yes, they were my hardest goodbyes indeed.

(Disclaimer : I offer articles of differing perspectives that have some raw truths that I identify with, albeit in no way am I saying that this is right or correct as we all have our own heart to follow. I'm open to many perspectives and thoughts and it's my way of sharing my ever evolving thoughts and understanding, of my own realizations, self love and journeys, which comes from time spent in solitude and self reflection. These are mirrors to help us, to help me understand ourselves / me better.

All rights and acknowledgement goes to the author / originator of these stories, not just me.)