See People. Don't Assume.

Happy New Year.

This year I learned to appreciate that people with few struggles have little understanding about what other people go through on a regular basis.

I learned this through observation and personal experience. In many ways I had a great year and Sara and I traveled (often with our kids) to some amazing locations and events. But I also had some hard situations to deal with that I really hadn’t ever expected.

I have had the opportunity to meet many people across the political, social economic, and other spectrums. Most people are awesome and when you learn their back story and they are inspiring AF…..but there are asshats out there, many who hide behind a mask so eveyone thinks they are great. We are too quick to assume we “know” others- and yet I now understand we “know” very few people.

As you look at the highlights of everyone’s year on social media (including mine) - remember you only see the stuff they choose to share or think you want to see.

As people, we are multi-faceted. Those you admire for career or other outward success may have mental health burdens or other issues that we cannot see or would ever assume.

Some business executives who have made a lot of money may not remember what it is to have any financial concerns and can be hurtful to others- not because they are bad people, but because they believe their own press…. And simply see the world from their own side of the fence.

The ones who support the opposite political party or presidential candidate than you do not do so to hurt you personally, they do it for reasons that you cannot know if you don’t talk to them. We need more “tell me about what brings you to this belief” and less “F-You” responses when we don’t agree.

We are setting up more divisions and silos in our society at a time when people need each other more than ever. There is an epidemic of loneliness and there are lots of people who need to be seen and heard and not be lumped into “us” and “them” piles.

I meet many “leaders” whom do not want to have to be engaged with others who do not meet their expectations / prejudged standards- but instead want to only be with people like themselves who have achieved a certain level. Yet real leaders do not get to ignore those they lead and do not see the average person as the “riff raff” to be avoided. To be a business or community leader you must be an active participant with the greater population you lead. Leading from a glass tower is not real leadership.

As we go into 2024 my wish is to witness efforts to really “see people”. We need to inspire more community, collaboration, and conversations.

Do not assume the extrovert is happy.

Do not assume the person getting their work done has any sense of self or balance.

Don’t assume the person who appears to have made it has their shit together.

Do not assume the person with a big social circle doesn’t feel lonely.

Ask people about themselves and be interested is knowing the answers. People’s stories are fascinating when you take the time to listen to them. Choose to put your phone down and make connections that are more than social media “likes, links, shares, or follows”. Try to really see people.

And remember- about those people you encountered and wrote off years ago- they have changed and grown over time… as I hope you have. I am amazed how many people pride themselves on their personal growth and still judge others on who the other person was five or ten years ago. If you have not talked to a person in five years, they may be a total stranger to you again. (Maybe not- but no way to know if you do now see them in a fresh light).

Have a great year and if you have struggles, seek out help. There is no shame in asking for help.

#seepeople #loneliness #community #conversations