See Jack Listen. Listen, Jack, Listen.

I saw “Jack Reacher:  Never Go Back” recently and watched it for what I wanted to see: entertainment, action, and some learning. I’m always looking for something to learn - a reminder or an impressive nuance that speaks to my quest for the best in people. In the case of Jack Reacher, in addition to a ton of action I saw a story of integrity, relationships, discovery, and humanity. The moment or rather the instant I’m writing about happens when Jack Reacher’s (Tom Cruise) “daughter” Samantha (Danika Yarosh) tells him and Turner (Cobie Smulders), “Strong guys don’t hurt you. Weak guys do. Strong guys have little sisters or want one.” 

You can get many messages from the well-delivered line alone. Check out the Brian Dodd On Leadership Blog espousing “11 Leadership Quotes and Lessons from Jack Reacher: Never Go Back.”  Brian also took from the movie what he wanted.

What stuck with me in this exchange was not her expert delivery but Jack Reacher’s subtle and intentional reaction. He was listening. He was learning. Sure, Reacher is a tough guy, but what I like seeing is his well-honed high-level of awareness and consideration. Samantha was new to him and his experience with her to date could have led him to be dismissive. She was young, aloof, distrusting, and unreliable. We dismiss people, their comments and their potential contributions because of our previous experience with them. For our purposes, her line could be restated, “Strong people don’t dismiss you. Weak people do.” In paying attention, maybe he was reminded that weak people can be more dangerous. . . maybe the value to him was learning about her experience and knowledge. More broadly maybe the reaction was his internal acknowledgement that she was not just an idiot kid. Or even further, it was all of this plus some empathizing with a young lady whose life had led her to this conclusion. 

Hey – it may be a stretch, but I’ll take away what I want. In my case – it’s those silent looks that are priceless. In this instance, I saw in the intensity of his silent look . . . his intentional listening . . . evident empathizing. 

And THAT’S the connection I made to life – my personal life, work life, all of it. The challenge, power and value of active listening and empathizing. They are not easy and the world continues to be getting noisier. People are looking to be heard. We all have something to say. The one who listens and who empathizes – they are the hero. I want to be that strong.

As I’ve been thinking about the power of listening, there seems to be a recent explosion of attention paid to the importance of empathizing. Is it just me or are these connected?

They seem aligned at least in their difficulty. It’s hard enough to listen to and to understand others. The complexity is compounded because by having listened, understood and empathized, it may be that much harder to take confident action. But Jack does it! Like with any other discipline, listening is not for the weak or inexperienced, as Billy Joel wrote in his song, “Shades of Grey”

Some things were perfectly clear, seen with the vision of youth

No doubts and nothing to fear, I claimed the corner on truth. . .

Shades of grey wherever I go

The more I find out the less that I know. . .

I hear the other man's words

I'm not that sure anymore . . .

Now with the wisdom of years I try to reason things out

And the only people I fear are those who never have doubts . . .

I bet Jack has doubts – it’s a complex world and he knows it. There are plenty of risks and challenges, but he takes action. Plenty of action. For those of us in the unscripted world, consider that listening and empathizing are tough to do and once mastered can make things on the other side that much more difficult. But to what end? 

A good end if you believe the results published in Harvard Business Review “How Empathy Can Lead to Badass Results” – OK, NOT the title, try, “The Most (and Least) Empathetic Companies, 2016.” Was that too abrupt of a transition? Still laughing at my hilarity? Just moved from a fictional and personal example to the real world and organizational results. Are you with me? 

Here’s what their research showed:

The top 10 companies in the Global Empathy Index 2015 increased in value more than twice as much as the bottom 10, and generated 50% more earnings (defined by market capitalization). In our work with clients, we have found a correlation as high as 80% between departments with higher empathy and those with high performers.

These are business-wide results! Imagine the possibility of results at a smaller level – a level in which you can have direct impact. Look at Marie-Claire Ross’ Corporate Culture Creator Blog  “How Google found the Surprising Ingredient in High Performing Teams.”  I summarize the ingredients as equal parts:   

• Listening broadly (I’m sorry, what did you say!?!).
• Sensitivity to the reaction from others – yes even silent ones or maybe ESPECIALLY silent ones.
• Feeling safe to express and perform authentically.
• Feeling trusted and able to trust.

These results are not of Google, but within Google – at the work-team level. There are measurable performance results associated with these characteristics. It may take time and energy to develop them both personally and within a team, but it’s an investment with a positive return. I swear I saw or heard a Stephen Covey quote in which he said, “you can’t be efficient with people.” It was probably 15+ years ago and I cannot find it to confirm or credit, but it reinforces the message I’m hearing today: while listening, considering and empathizing may be difficult, they are worthwhile in their outcomes. Tangible, measurable outcomes.

Looking for a New Year’s resolution? How about working on active-listening? Reflective listening? How about committing to encourage or elicit it from others? Your family, your work-team, your organization. They don’t need you to be Jack Reacher. They do need you to be present and what a gift that is – giving the present of your presence. Want to be a hero? Just listen.