Security, Law Enforcement, and Public Servants: We protect everything like it's our own until it's our own mental health

The world is a rough and unique amalgamation of trauma and bliss. How we manage and confront our experiences is possibly the most crucial factor in controlling our emotional destiny. For me, stability has become my key goal.?

In thirty-eight years, I have met trauma and dealt with crippling disappointment while also experiencing the transformational bliss of holding my newborn sons. Up to that point in my life, I was always the epitome of stoicism, but the day my first was born, I instantly teared up.

No person in this world, rich or poor, is exempt from the realities of life. Life, after all, is the great equalizer. What can be different is the level at which a person is exposed to the varying extremes of life's realities. Certain professions like policing, security, emergency services, military, medical, and so on can be the catalyst that "super-exposes" individuals to these realities.?

Law enforcement officers are called to view the worst of humanity on a daily, scratch that, hourly basis. EMT shifts are filled with hosing blood out of the back of a unit. Vehicle roofs are torn off with the jaws of life, only for the firefighter to realize they were too late. These are just a few examples of related professions that all share one awful connection. That connection is a daily front-row ticket to life's traumas for others and possibly for them.?

I want to discuss my experiences to shed a little deeper insight into this phenomenon to inspire others to inventory their experiences and determine if they need to be looked into further.

One story of mine depicts the internal demons that can lay dormant in our subconscious.

I was twenty-seven when I started investigating the most disturbing crimes, including robberies, assaults, abuses, and murders. My police department took all possible offenses very seriously. Because of this, my team and I would be called to the scene of all infant deaths. Some of these young deaths resulted from abuse, carelessness, or neglect, but most were natural. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is one of the most common reasons the young souls I met passed away.

I was young with no family. I was pretty much only having to worry or fear for myself. These scenes affected me because there is no way to avoid despair when seeing lost innocents and the destruction the events levied on the young child's parents. On the other hand, as a young man, I could move on relatively quickly. At the time, I never felt the need to talk about these experiences or clean my mind. I didn't know that I wasn't "getting over it" quickly; it turns out I was storing these experiences.?

Skip ahead eight years, and I was at Piedmont Hospital in downtown Atlanta holding my firstborn boy, Colton. It was a euphoric experience. Colton would grab my finger and squeeze tightly, letting me know he was reaching out for stability. Well, that is what I promised him at that moment. I would whisper that same promise to his little brother two years later.

My wife and I took Colton home after three days in the hospital. No manual, no troubleshooting sheet, just a baby, and good luck! It's still crazy to me that they send you home with nothing but a baby.?

Slightly off-topic, but worth the mention: There is an excellent Netflix documentary called Dads, which has a scene where Will Smith recounts the day he went to the hospital with Jada to have their first kid. He spent most of the day purchasing a Universal Remote at Best Buy. Remember when those were all the rage?! He opened the package containing the remote to find it accompanied by a book-length manual on how to operate the controller. Jada came in that moment and said its time, and they rushed to the hospital. Days later, Will and Jada would return to their home, where it was just the way they had left it when they rushed away. On the coffee table, Will placed the baby carrier containing his days-old son Jayden. He noted the massive manual for the universal remote and then looked back at his son. He realized at that moment that he had a huge manual on how to use the remote, and NO ONE gave him anything for his son.?

Much like Will Smith, I brought Colton home, and my wife and I started the journey of figuring it out. That day, I had no idea I wouldn't sleep well again for months. Of course, anyone with kids knows that you aren't going to sleep well with a newborn, but this was different.?

Whenever my son went to sleep, and I would leave his room or try to get sleep, images fussed my mind. Images I developed years ago, ones I had not thought about since I first saw them, flooded back in disturbing clarity. The images that filled my brain were of the poor infants that met a far too young fate and their destroyed parents who were doing their best to figure it out.?

That level and flavor of anxiety is one I had not ever encountered before. True, I've been shot at, jumped out of planes, had intense physical fights, served high-risk search warrants, and led car chases, but this new anxiety leveled me. There have been other examples of other experiences lying dormant and raising their heads later in my life, but this one was especially difficult for me.?

I recommend that anyone in these professions look into habits and behaviors that counter the effects these types of things can have on our psyche, even if it doesn't present as dire at the moment.?

Talk about it! Talk about it! Talk about it!

Leaders at an organization's helm guiding these types of professionals need to be leading the charge toward mental health. High-ranking ambassadors will go a long way to break the stigma held in public service, medical, military, and private security industries around coming forward with mental health issues.?

It's mainly a real fear in law enforcement circles that if you come forward with experiencing complex mental health issues, you will have your badge, gun, and job taken away. This is not an "out there" thought. One of the first things you do when you apply to be a police officer is take a psychological test, which can determine if you get the job. This is similar in the private security field as well.?

This unwillingness or fear to come forward often leads to a compounding of negative mental health behaviors and worsens the person's health.?

We not only see it, but often the worst culprit is the constant expectation of tragedy. Almost everyone I know in law enforcement, and security constantly sub-consciously prepares for disaster.

Go to dinner with a friend who belongs to these professions, and you will quickly see what I am talking about. If we are driving, the car will be backed into a spot at the restaurant. Why back in? All the cops reading this just yelled at their devices, "for a quick exit, duh!" They will then enter the establishment, and their head will move back and forth, checking out the exits and all the customers. The host will then show you to your table, where your friend will strangely insist on some random seat. You will likely not think much of it except it was a tad strange. On the other hand, your friend has not sat with his back to the front door of a restaurant in years. All because if an active shooter were to enter, he could get the drop on them.?

That is in the first two minutes of going to a restaurant with a friend. These thoughts and actions could ultimately save their life, but what does that constant foreshadowing of tragedy and misery do to that individual's mind over time??

We are protectors, and each of us has a distinct ability to undergo stressors that others either can not deal with regularly or choose not to. I am saying that, yes, we can handle those stressors, but we hold those at 1000X the amount that everyone around us does. We need to understand that while being tough is our superpower, we are, in fact, not "superheroes."

I want to end how I began by saying the world is a rough and unique amalgamation of trauma and bliss. How we manage and confront our experiences is possibly the most crucial factor in controlling our emotional destiny.

We don't need to just look into it. We need to do it! Take stock of your mental health.

This year, I have encountered too many friends who would go to a restaurant, back in, survey the land, and sit facing the door, preparing for every threat only to meet the person they didn't prepare to protect against as they tragically took their own life.

I love you all, and I'm here for anyone who needs help operating with their cape off for once.?

For more articles and blog posts, please visit www.TheSentryPost.com

Other Resources for help:

Crisis Hotline: Call or Text 988

Nami Crisis Hotline: 1 (800) 950-NAMI (6264)

CopLine: 1-800-COPLINE (267-5463) or website www.copline.org