Secrets to living a successful life

Success is malty-facetted. It means different things to different people. A successful life does not only relate to finances. Financial success, though the most recognised, is not the only form of success. A successful life is way more than finances. Highly successful people measure themselves in 7 key facets of their life which is family, social, religious, financial, civic, business, health (physical and psychological). If you are successful in these facets of your life, you will be living a life of success. There are certain fundamentals that must be observed in order to achieve same.

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Spoiler alert: Success is built on simple Systems, not minor miracles. If you cannot commit, you do not deserve it. All successful persons in the world have made it because they have done it. Done what? What is about to be reveal below.

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This article is lengthy for two reasons. Firstly, it is addressed to a diverse audience. Secondly, preference was given to explaining concepts instead of just listing them. Readers are able to develop their own pocket template as may be appropriate and relevant for their particular instance. This article is divided into 3 parts. Part 1 deals with the generic skills and attributes one has to possess in order to live a successful life. Part 2 deals with money matters: financial success. Part 3 deals with business life principles for success.

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Part 1: Skills and attributes for success

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The process to attain success is likened to climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. First, one has to possess the unwavering mindset to conquer Mount Kilimanjaro. Without this firm mindset, you will not be able to conquer climbing it. Secondly, you need to tirelessly work towards achieving same: action. There are two elements?? you need to get right for success, which are firstly, mindset and secondly, action. If you lack in any of these two regards, you will surely not be successful.

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Success is not a destination. There is no single guaranteed pathway to success. It is the consequential outflow of successive correct decisions. Thus, making the right decisions is key to achieving success. When one climbs Mount Kilimanjaro, one has to consistently make correct directional decisions, when to move forward, whether to move right, when to climb, which rock to ascend etc. Constantly making correct decisions will enable one to summit the peaks of success.

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A successful life cannot be achieved through a single decision.? To attain success, one has to maintain momentum in the right direction. A succession of Successful decisions will lead to successful results. Success is premised on a convergence of several inter-connected and inter-related life factors. Like ascending to the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro, success is the pathway you land on when you consistently make small correct decisions on a daily basis. Not all decisions are equal. Some are more important and critical than others. The more critical decisions you get right, the quicker you will attain success.

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As stated above, success comprises two facets, mindset and action and is determined by the decisions taken each of them. In Part 1, we shall first discuss the five mindset decisions, followed by the 9 action decisions.

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1.????????? Mindset element 1: Positive Decisions

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When faced with a decision, always choose the one that is positive. A positive mind makes positive decisions. Positive decisions are the starting point of success. When there are several options, choose the one that is positive.

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Positive decisions are easy, almost natural and instantaneous when the mind is positive. The challenge comes when the mind is negative. Naturally, a negative mind makes negative decisions. A negative mind is triggered when faced with adversity, a raw deal and in a moment of anger. This is why one is always advised not to make decisions when emotional. Greats make positive decisions even when faced with a negative mind.

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2.????????? Mindset element 2: Confidence

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One has to both make confident decisions and make a decision with confidence. Adversity breeds negative emotions that often derail one’s confidence. Make decisions that smell and reek of confidence, even when the chips are down.

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In life, there is one certainty, and that is, that you are going to fall/fail. Fortunately, this misfortune is accompanied by another life guaranty; you will be accorded the opportunity to get up. Failing (which I called not being successful) is part of success. There can be no success without failure. When you fail, fail fast and learn from it.

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Confidence charts you forward when everything pulls you back. It is to get up when life momentum is down; to show strength when powerless; to be present when courage is absent; it is to proceed, not retreat; it is to say yes when everything in the situation screams no. Success is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.

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3.????????? Mindset element 3: Priorities

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Getting your priorities right is crucial for success. An attempt at success without the right priorities is to put a car in reverse to drive forward. Priorities are the alignment is one’s life. If alignment is out, there will be friction.

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The sequence of priorities is as follows:

·???????? Firstly, for those who are spiritually-minded, your personal relationship with your creator / the higher super-being that you believe in is top of the tree.

·???????? Secondly, for those who are not spiritually orientated, you yourself are the first order of business. It is not selfish to first take care of yourself when needed or dictated by the situation. Many get this wrong. The more you are empowered, the more you can empower others. Stated differently, the more you have, the more you can share. Putting yourself first is only selfish when someone else’s need is better served and despite this, you prioritise your selfish interest over theirs.

·???????? Thirdly, your immediate (not extended) family.

·???????? Fourthly, your vocation (job). The inter-play of priority between family and your vocation is needs versus wants. If your family wants you and your vocation needs you, the latter takes preference. Conversely, if your family needs you, and your vocation wants you, the former takes precedence. If both your vocation and family need you, the latter must be prioritised.

·???????? Fifthly, extended family and close friends.

·???????? Sixthly, if you are religious, your church (or your religious institution) is next on the list.

·???????? Seventhly, everything else.

If your list of priority is as outlined above, your alignment will, to a large extent, be right.

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4.????????? Mindset element 4: Learning

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One has to learn from decisions previously made. One has to learn both from good decisions and the negative ones. The cheapest form of learning is to learn from the previous decisions of others, both good ones and negative ones. It is better to learn from the crashes of others as oppose to yours. To learn from others is to eat of fruit paid for by others. When one learns from the past, you become more resourceful. This enables one to make better and more informed decisions.

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5.????????? Mindset element 5: Accountability

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Take accountability for your decisions and what happens in your life. Accept there is no fairness in life. In life, you get what you work for tirelessly, not what you deserve. Stop blaming others, regardless of the circumstances. To blame others is to dig holes for you: only you can fall into them, no one else. Build bridges, not dig holes.? Self-pity will not get you anywhere. Hold yourself accountable for everything: it is your responsibility to become successful. You are the master of your own destiny. – take matters into your own hands, leave nothing to chance

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Now we shall shift focus to the component of action.

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A brilliant mind without action is a brilliant path that leads to nothing. As Anthony Vicino (a self-made American millionaire) says:?

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“Dreams die in inaction, not wrong action.”

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6.????????? Action element 1: Doing the right thing

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One has to do what one has to do. If it means instituting legal action against another, then so be it. A colleague of mine once said:

“If the occasion demands that we have to run into an on-coming train, then that is what we are going to do.”

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It is simply a question of getting on with the program. Be pro-people, not a people pleaser. Sometimes the right thing demands of one to burn bridges. In fact, one has to burn bridges from which attacks on your successes could be launched. Your action decisions must be informed by the other action elements discussed further below.

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7.????????? Action element 2: Hard-work

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The saying is, there is no substitute for hard work, and boy is this thru. Many say “Work smart, not hard”. No, this is an apple half baked. One has to work hard, but be smart.

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When the wind pummels your sails, to still chart forward is to work hard. When there is an easy way out and a hard and challenging one choose the latter. Working hard has no negative draw-backs.

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The harder you work the stronger you become, physically and proverbially. However, growth occurs when you work hard when everything is against you. Mental strength is forged when you move forward when everything pulls you back; when all voices within you say no, the loud cry is to stop. When this happens, listen to the soft inner-whisper that says, cry but carry on.

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8.????????? Action element 3: Passion and personal growth

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Invest in yourself; invest in your personal growth. A resourced you is a valuable you. Once a year, learn a new skill / hobby. Take care of yourself, because no one will do it for you or at least as well as you would. When you make a mistake, go gentle on yourself. Do not judge yourself harshly. There are enough others in this world that will do it for you without hesitation, invitation or entitlement. Spend time with you. In today’s busy life, it is easy to live pass yourself. Time with you is not selfish, it is personal investment.

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We all have short-comings. Success is determined by our commitment to improving them. Sahil Bloom, a well-known social media influencer refers to the 30-30 rule for improvement. Whatever the weakness is, spend 30 minutes a day for thirty consecutive days training / working on your weaknesses (I refer to it as your areas of development’). For example, if you are not great with playing the piano, calculations, playing a sport, if you practice thirty minutes a day for thirty consecutive days, you’re playing and calculations will improve notably. This is a method that will surely improve the areas of development in your life. You should not nurse excuses for mediocrity.?

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Break free from the self-imposed shackles that constrain you. Everyone has an inner-child that is unnecessarily constrained. Let it lose. There is no such thing as certain things are only for children. Run wild and play in children play parks; play with kids.?? Live your passion. Do what you enjoy doing. Read a book, play a sport, take long strolls on the beaches etc. Do joyful and pleasant things. Create good memories. A happy you is a productive you. As hard work has time, so should joy and passion.

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9.????????? Action element 4: health (Physical and psychological)

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One has to make decisions in the best interest of your health. This is to exercise regularly and have a healthy nutritious diet. For every healthy path, there are thousands of path to ill-health. Getting up early mornings, exercise regularly and putting in the hard yards. Health is crucial for our well-being. Take care of your psychological well-being. To a large extent, we have significant influence over our state of health.

10.?????? Action element 5: Integrity

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Integrity is one of the most important attributes for a successful life. Integrity is to consider others, not please them. Integrity is built through consistently being respectful, humble, helpful, thoughtful, maintaining a high moral compass and honesty. Integrity is man’s greatest virtue. Without integrity, one might be able to meet narrow-minded objectives, but it will not be success. Joe Patterno stated:

“”Success without honour is an unseasoned dish. It will satisfy your hunger, but won’t taste good.”

Are you feasting on unseasoned dishes?

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When facing a decision, choose the one that enhances your integrity instead of detracting from it. Integrity is a necessary ingredient for success. If secrecy around a decision or action is required to preserve integrity, chances are that it is the wrong one. Under no circumstances compromise your integrity. Its value is way greater than that of gold. To compromise your integrity is to do what Esau in the bible has done, sell your birth right for tasteless stew.

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11.?????? Action element 6: Building healthy relations

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Relationships are the trading currency of business. Building positive relations with persons who are kind to one and aligns with our values, aspirations and personal attributes, is easy. The decision to build positive relations with people who are awkward, difficult, rude, obnoxious, adversarial is very challenging. This is when emotional intelligence (EQ) comes to the fore. Always build positive relations with adversaries and mists adversity. Thus, spend less time on making enemies and more time on building positive relations. Positive relations have never paid anyone back with bad coins. It can only lead to positive outcomes. At the same toucan, it is key to appreciate that destroying bad relations is good. Vengeance and retribution might sooth one’s emotions, but has no correlation with success. It is harvested in a negative mind and has no association with success.

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Anyone who does not appreciate you, does not deserve you. Make sure you appreciate friends and family. Take special care to ensure that this is reflected in the way you interact with them. With regards to relations, all one is required to be is genuine, fair, honest, kind, considerate, sincere and authentic. When the instance arises, advise friends, with kindness, when they are wrong and or you do not agree with what they are or intend doing. Do not hold back in the supposed perverse interest of not harming the friendship. If a relationship cannot withstand critical comment, then it is not friendship. At best, it might be a relationship of convenience.

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12.?????? Action element 7: Discipline and critique

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Discipline is to consistently make the right decisions all the time, every time. One simply has to do the right thing over and over, day-after-day. One has to carry on-and-on-and-on. The path to success is littered with mundane and laborious correct steps. Discipline requires of one to plan and have structure.? The saying is true:

He, who fails to plan, plans to fail.

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Have an inquisitive mind that questions everything that does not make sense. Do not be a monkey sees monkey does.? Get rid of anything that does not make sense.? Be wary of the natural confirmation bias that humans often fall victim to. Bring an independent mind to bear to any situation.? Trust your judgment and never ignore first impressions and your instincts.? They are your guardian angels.

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To enable discipline, one has to fall in love with monotony. As James N Watkins said

“A river cuts through rocks not because of its power, but because of its persistence”.

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It is impossible for success to escape you forever if you keep on doing the right thing, over-and-over. With persistence, it is just a matter of time that the rock that blocks success will cave. With consistent and persistent right decisions and actions, it is not a question of if; it is a question of when the rock will give way to your river of success. If given time, persistent will crush all challenges into insignificance. It is the power behind impossible dreams. Persistence makes the impossible possible.

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13.?????? Action element 8: share and Support

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Share cheerfully with others what you have without expecting anything in return and without publicising it. Share could be time, a utility, a service offering, a helping hand or guidance. Sharing makes the load lighter for another. Do what you want others to do for you. A sharing life is a very fulfilling life. My experience is, the more you share the luckier / more blessed you become. If you do not know what to do, share. Share your way to success.

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One should always make the decision to support others. To support others, is to support yourself. If you support others, others will support you. To enable the success of others is also success. A coached enables his tutees / mentees/ and team to win. When the tutees / mentees / team win, the coach wins. Be a coach / pillar of support to others. To pull others back does not propel you forward. Life is a game of running, pushing-forward, not pulling back. It is a game of caring, not criticism.

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14.?????? Action element 9: Change

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Decide to embrace change. Change is not always consistent, but is constant. Success changes. The successes of today are the building blocks of tomorrow. To embrace change is to remain current and relevant

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The life-changing punch line: “you will never change your life until you change something you do daily” by John C. Maxwell.

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A guaranteed way to change your life is to do the following:

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(a)??????? Write down, in three categories, the skills, attributes and characteristics the better you would be / possess (you in the best case scenario): we call this “Person B”.

(b)??????? Write down, in three categories, your current skills, attributes and characteristics: we call this “Person A”.

Person A is who you currently are and Person B is who you would like to become.

(c)??????? Write down the skills, attributes and characteristics that Person B possesses that person A do not. These differences are your short-comings: the gap you need to fill.

(d)??????? Work out a plan of action to on-board the skills, attributes and characteristics you lack. Google if you struggle. This document of reveal would be too long and unwieldy if, in addition to the 30-30 rule mentioned above, I were to outline the different personal developmental techniques to fill the gaps. There are many free online resources to help you in this regard.

(e)??????? In the final step, implement the plan of action. Remember, as mentioned above, big changes only come when you change what you do on a daily basis. Also, as stated, discipline is key in this regard. If you are serious in converting to a life of success, you will commit and implement with discipline.

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Part B: Money matters

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For financial success, there are 2 key requirements: income generation (earning monies) and financial discipline. Success in both is necessary for financial success. A bird cannot fly with only one wing. We shall first discuss the element of income generation, and then followed by element 2 of financial discipline.

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1.?????? Financial element 1: Income generation

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Most understand the importance of generating income. The critical question one has to ask oneself is, are you fairly remunerated for your services? Chances are, probably not. You either have to have? conversation with your boss for a pay increase, or go into the job market to earn more. Then again, you can only demand an increase if you deserve it. One cannot churn out ordinary job performance and expect excellent remuneration. Up your game. Increase your performance to excellence before having a conversation with your boss. The conversation could possibly include what you need to do to significantly increase your remuneration.

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The next step is to earn a second income. This could be done through a side hustle or starting a business. When performing a side hustle, choose one that either aligns with your current job or existing skills.

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Stop doing what others do. In fact, stop what you are currently doing. Embrace to take calculated business risks. Get out of the comfort zone. Ordinary performance accords ordinary returns. Success requires extraordinariness, not ordinariness. If one does what others do, one has to be better and be willing to accept less value in return. When there is difference, one sets the tone. If in a business, the offer is:

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·???????????? To do what others dislike intensely;

·???????????? To do that others find difficult or a challenge;

·???????????? Improves another’s experience (actual or perceived),

·???????????? At a fair price, with convenience, reliably and consistently, and easy to access,

The business concept is guaranteed to succeed.

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Reminder of the action element mentioned above, working hard. Excuses are excepted, not accepted. If one accepts excuses for why you cannot do or perform certain things, there are many excuses as to why you do not deserve to live a life of success. You can elect to live a life of either excesses or excuses: choice is yours.

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The successes of tomorrow are determined by the innovation of today. Innovation is inspired by creativity. Anthony Vicino states:

“Creativity is the ability to combine two or more pieces of unrelated information in new, functional ways.”

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For innovation, there is no need to birth out of space ideas. The saying is, not to re-invent the wheel. To innovate, you can revise and re-purpose the wheel. All self-made billionaires accumulated their riches through innovation. Commerce has an instant attraction with change. Here is a business guiding principle that will guaranty success:

Any change / innovation that improves quality, is simpler, better, faster, cheaper, longer, bigger and better,

Will sell like hot cakes. Design or develop any idea, concept, product or utility that meets the aforesaid requirements and you are guaranteed to be in very high demand.?

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The final step in income generation is to create a venture to earn passive income. Passive income is income you generate without your active participation in the generation of that income. An example hereof is an investment, property rentals, etc. Warren Buffett, one of the world’s richest people (arguably one of the greatest investors of all time) said:

“There is a lot of money to be made in doing nothing”.

If it worked for him, there is no arguing against it.

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The essential point of income generation is to earn more with less. This is to earn more monies with the same or less time and resources. I.e it is to maximise the returns on the deployment of your current assets, time and utilities. This is regardless of what your current earnings are, whether it is four or seven digit numbers. Earning little only means you start off from a lower base, the process for success remains the same, irrespective of your starting point.

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2.????????? Financial element 2: financial discipline

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It is pointless to work hard to earn income, all just to splurge it. Wealth is created through saving, not earning. Stated differently, wealth is not created through earning monies, it is created through not spending monies. You save your way to financial success.

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For example:

·???????? Spender A earns $100 per month but spends $105 per month. Spender A is in debt.

·???????? Spender B earns $80 per month, but spends $65 per month. Spender B is creating wealth.

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It is less about how much one earns; wealth creation is all about how much one does not spend.

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Financial discipline has two segments:? save through expenditure-cutting and saving. Each will now be discussed in turn.

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2.1??????????? Financial discipline Segment 1: Save through expenditure-cutting

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Cut at least ten percent of your current spend. If you have no idea what to do or how to do it, do the following:

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(a)??????????? Make a list of all your monthly expenditure: at the beginning of the month, till the end of the month, write-down every time you spend monies);

(b)??????????? Make a note of all the items / services you do not need (do not convert wants into needs); Do not omit the unused subscription services;

(c)??????????? Reduce the monies on products and services that you can reduce: be ruthless (on expenditure, not your family).

(d)??????????? Cut expenditure on items in (b) and implement (c).

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Through this process, you should be able to save a minimum of ten percent of your current earnings. Again, excuses are accepted, not accepted. Firstly, if you are in debt, pay it off as soon as possible. Thereafter, deposit these monies, on a monthly basis, in an interest bearing account or an excess bond, whichever is more prudent. In this regard, the action element of discipline and consistency is key. It might appear as little at the beginning. You will be surprised about the power of the compound effect. The power of consistent saving will surprise you greatly. The saying is:

Compound interest is powerful – those who do not understand it, pay it; those who do, earn it.

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2.2 ??? Financial discipline Segment 2: saving

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It is critical that additional income (earned through your side hustle, investments/ business) does not get subsumed in new interests. Do not increase your basket of expenditure. Guard strongly against this. In the final step, save all monies accumulated through your side hustle / business and passive income. There is no reason why this cannot be done. Previously you lived without this income. Again, if you are in debt, first pay it off as soon as possible. Thereafter deposit all these monies in an interest bearing account, profitable investment or an excess bond, whichever is more prudent. There are a multi fold of free online resources that give excellent guidance on investing.? Contrary to popular believe, you need not to be a finance guru. It is as simple as 1, 2, 3, provided you understand and apply the basics. Investing can become complicated, but there is no need to delve into complex investment structures to be a successful investor. Ensure you do not have easy access to these monies. Discipline and consistency are crucial.

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If you apply the principles outlined above, with hard work and discipline for a period of 3 years, you will appreciably improve your net worth. Do it for six years, and you will reach a financial position you never thought possible. Do it for a further four years, you are guaranteed to reach the status of financial freedom: This is the attainment of financial success.

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Part 3: Business Life Principles

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1.????????? Perspective on competition and growth

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It is crucial that one understands success and competition. Success has no room for competition and comparison. To compare is to measure air. You can measure as much as you want, you will not be able to change the air. Never compete. To compete is to attempt to outrun wind. It will get you nowhere. Never compete, use the successes of others (competitors) to inspire you, not to compete against. Use it as a yardstick to improve yourself, not to compete with.

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Success is to be the best you can be, not necessarily better than others. If your best happens to be better than others, that is good. It is great success if a sixty year old achieves second spot in a sprinting race with teenagers. It is great achievement if a non-pilot manages to land a plane on the ground with minor structural damage to the aircraft. It is not success if you come first but you have not given your best. Success is not about the spot you attain at the end of the race; it is about what you do during the race. To be successful, is not to beat others (competitors), it is to beat the odds). Success is not about being better than others; it is about being the best you can be. Do not accept mediocrity, despise it. Only the best should do for you.

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2.????????? Embrace quality over quantity

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Quantity has an attraction, but quality always reigns supreme. To have many friends is to make a paper fire: it is hot quickly - it is quicker than hot. Building lasting friendships takes time and effort, but fills a gap in one’s life that nothing else can match. To have friends that are not quality, is to sleep on a bed with thorns: you can get some sleep, but it won’t be comfortable. Business is no different.

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Spend quality time with family and friends. When building a business or a brand, decide to embrace quality. Quantity has a quality of its own, but is not quality. Maturity cultivates affinity to quality. If it cannot be quality, it is not worth it. Life is too short to fluff around with the immaterial and insignificant.

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Quality comes at a price. The quality of your life is priceless. Be willing to pay for it. Everything important in life is affordable, if you so elect. The day you decide to embrace quality, is the day that the quality of your life increases. A quality life is a successful life.

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3.????????? Luck

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Do not plan for luck, but make room for it. In order to be successful, one does require the dice of luck to roll in your favour from time to time. Certain instances, environments are more prone for luck to strike compared to others.

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Sahel Bloom refers to a concept called luck surface area. The idea is that each of us has a surface area on which lucky events can strike in our lives. He postulates that we should eradicate anti-luck from our lies. These refer to all the actions, behaviour and people that reduce our luck surface area. These include pessimism, blinders and people encouraging us to be realistic. He encourages one to increase our pro-luck surfaces. These are all the actions, behaviour and people that expand one’s luck surface area. These include getting out, meeting new people, sharing our thoughts and ideas publicly, sending more cold emails and direct messages and people who encourage us to think bigger and broaden our horizons.

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Thus, when facing indecision, make a decision that will or is likely to increase your luck surface area.

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4.????????? Balloon blow-up factor

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Success has the balloon blow-up factor. When you start with blowing up a balloon, it is difficult. The bigger the balloon has already been blown up, the easier it is to blow it up even further. Success is the same. When you start off, it is difficult. However, ones you have attained success, it becomes easier to achieve more.

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5.???? Measuring your success

To measure your success, you can develop a chart with each of the above-mentioned facets of success, which are

-??????? Family;

-??????? Social;

-??????? Religious;

-??????? Financial;

-??????? Civic;

-??????? Business; and

-??????? Health (physical and psychological).

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On a three-monthly basis, award yourself a score out of ten for each of these life facets. Honesty is key. Any score 7 and above is good. Anything below requires your attention. One deploys the vices mentioned above to improve your score in any of these life facets. Should you be significantly deficient in any area, you might benefit with on-boarding professional support to assist.

Conclusion

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Successes must be replicated and maintained in various areas of your life. These refer to facets of your life such as love life, friendships, relations, career, studies, spiritual, financial, employment, health, sport, hobbies etc. The principles outlined above are generic and should be deployed in the key facets of your life. It is to be adjusted as you may require in a given context. With success, focus on the process and ignore the outcome. ?Success is a path preceded by a succession of successful decisions. Success breeds more success. The cumulative effect is a life littered with success. It will never be perfect, but a rich and rewarding life that many aspire to achieve.

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I have selflessly revealed the secrets to a successful life. This had been developed solely for the purpose of enabling you to live a successful life. Now you got no excuse. What are you waiting for? Everyone can live a life of success. There are certain areas in your life in which you are already applying these principles. All you need to do is to assess the short-comings, augment, adjust, correct and direct. Forget about what others may thin or say. Distracters have the amazing skill to distract you from success but utterly incapable to direct you to success. Distracters do their job, which is to distract. Your response must be to reject, correct, direct and give effect.

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May you achieve great successes in your life

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I share my life and business learnings to inspire and empower

To read more about the contracts, transport, local government and corporate legal services I provide, please go to my website: www.legalspectrum.co.za

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? Sidney Pretorius

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