Should we judge a book by its cover? No, we should never evaluate a book by its cover, but the fact is that we do.
Likewise, we judge ourselves by looking at our character traits; we tend to judge others by their personality traits. If we were to share our intent with others we would automatically be able to communicate with others well.
- The Purpose: what is the objective of communication? Examine your own intention. Why do I need to communicate this particular message? Once you declare your intention, your message immediately justifies itself. Most balanced people like to communicate with good intentions. Check yourself every time you wish to communicate whether your intention is pure or not.
- The Action: what is the plan of action to communicate the intent? What needs to be done or what action needs to be taken in order to communicate the message with clarity is the focus at this stage.
- Behavior: Behavior is the manner in which you need to conduct yourself. A very important component of intent is behavior. A behavior must be consistent with your intention. Saying,' I like you' with a frown on the face has very little meaning.
An individual is solely responsible for their own behavior. With that premise, I can say that you alone can change your life.
While the character is constant, competence is situational. It depends on what the circumstance requires. Your technical capabilities are taxed dramatically sometimes even becoming irrelevant in direct relation to your trust abilities.
Communication is all about consistent behavior that discloses your intent. Now, the question that arises is, how do I create harmony between character and personality, intent and content, root and fruit?
- Speak Directly: Speak the reality and try not to leave a false impression. When faking straight talk, people tend to beat around the bush, flatter people, spin words around, and indulge in a lot of wordplays. When I urge you to speak directly, I mean to say we must talk straight but not rude or brutal in our approach. If there is some important discussion on a serious topic, we need to deal with it intelligently and emotionally.
- Build Clarity: Being transparent is the mantra for keeping clear lines of communication. As I mentioned, we ought to be direct. Another aspect of clear communication is transparency. People who are not transparent tend to keep secrets, do not disclose information, and withhold the truth. Such people are seen as hiding something.
- Face the Truth: Confront the hard problems bluntly. Some variant of Murphy's law states that ' if left on their own, problems get from bad to worse'. Thus, it is of paramount importance to deal with problems as they arise. There is no need to camouflage problems.
- Elucidate Expectation: Obtain concord before the actual communication. Clarify all expectations and lay them out clearly. Unrealistic expectations and not clarifying them create instant communication barriers.
- Listen Actively: Aim to understand first. There could be reasons for someone communicating a certain thing. Try to understand the other person's point of view as well.
To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.
