How To Work Well With Others

Ageless wisdom I learned from my?father

My wife and I have been blessed to raise two healthy, loving sons who have found great career paths, learned to save and invest their money, and own real estate at a much younger age than we were able to do.?

They are early in their careers, and learning to work well with others is an art. As his eldest son, my father taught me this art, one of the most powerful things he taught me. He was an entrepreneur who fostered in me a burning desire to work for myself, which I have done for more than thirty years.

Clifford Jones, Jr. was a gentleman and spirit. I’m sure he was a modern mystic, but neither knew it when he was alive. I figured it out years later by studying the ways of the many mystics of many faiths. They all know the power of love. RIP,?dad.

What can mystics teach us about working well with others? There is a lot for anyone willing to learn from our elders and others' mistakes.?

“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.”?— Muhammad Ali

Halloween Family Snapshot

Alex is our youngest at 33, and Chris is the elder at 36. Early in their careers, both boys struggled with authority. They inherited that trait from me because my wife and their mother are “model employees” and saint-like human beings to us. (Janice has always been the glue when we, as men, would crumble. Men, take heed.)

Last night, we joined our sons and their wives for an early dinner before their Halloween festivities. Alex was lamenting his recent struggles with a virtual assistant in the commercial insurance business. He inherited an assistant he deemed unworthy. She was assigned to him over a year ago to help him generate quotes. Nothing Alex recounted was going well for him.

The more Alex lamented his struggles with his assistant, the more I knew he needed to learn an important lesson: how to work well with others, especially those assigned to work with anyone with the mindset of a top producer, such as both sons have inherited.

The secret to working well with others, especially those who seem to make it harder to get your job done, is to love them unconditionally. Here’s a quote from one of the most legendary business leaders to ever grace Earth.

“When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it.”?— Stephen Covey

As a top producer for my entire career and a business coach and consultant who has served hundreds of founders, small business owners, and their teams for over two decades, I know working with others is never easy if we can’t love them unconditionally. Work is hard enough, yet many make it more difficult for others.

Empathy and unconditional love are cousins. Empathy allows us to step into others’ shoes, understanding their perspectives and challenges without judgment.?

For most inexperienced top producers, including CEOs, the mindset of “take no prisoners” and “my way or the highway” is a fast track to a highly dysfunctional workplace.

Love at Work

Unconditional acceptance is a byproduct of love. We must learn to support colleagues even when they make mistakes or frustrate us.?

When we approach our coworkers with this mindset, we foster an environment of trust and mutual respect. We need these qualities now more than ever at work and everywhere else.

The more Alex complained about his former assistant, the more I knew Alex failed to do his part. He was judgmental and curt and sent emails that felt like daggers to the heart. I could feel his assistant’s pain even though I’d never met her.

Eventually, Alex’s supervisor called him out about his unhealthy and counterproductive way of working with his assistant. From what little I know, the supervisor was the peacekeeper at work. She taught him the errors of his ways, and I encouraged him to be a willing student and learn from his mistakes.

The New Assistant

Alex was given a new assistant. She is much better equipped than the first and must have the patience of Job, given what Alex was telling me. As I listened last night to how this assistant was different and how she’s helping him produce more and better revenue, I asked, “Alex, how well do you know your assistant personally, and have you met her in person?”

He replied, “Dad, we work remotely. No, I haven’t met her. We communicate mostly by email.”

“What have you done to thank her for helping you better than your former assistant?”

Alex gave me a look that said, “Dad, leave me alone. It’s Halloween.”

I smiled and asked, “What kind of food does she like? What do you know about her family and interests outside of work? Have you thought about doing something special for her to thank her for helping you produce more?”

Crickets ensued. “No,” he said.?

“That’s okay, Alex, but I suggest you consider making an effort to know and love your assistant in a way that you can build a bond that will help both of you endure the many struggles and stresses of being in business together. What if you ask her what her favorite food is and send her a gift card for $150 bucks, or invite her to join you at her favorite restaurant for lunch to show your gratitude?”

Alex took my suggestion, and the family quickly turned their attention to putting on their costumes before we headed home for the night. Chris, a top sales producer for an international technology company, is a bit ahead of his brother, learning and practicing the art of loving others at work, especially those who cause us challenges.

“The way we treat people we strongly disagree with is a report card on what we’ve learned about love, compassion, and kindness.”?— Marc Ian Barasch

Working well with others, whether in person or remotely, requires empathy, patience, and a willingness to see beyond one's frustrations.?

Thanks, Dad. I'm Paying It Forward

My father taught me that the most powerful way to succeed in collaboration is to treat others unconditionally, even when challenging. In passing on this wisdom to our beautiful sons, I reminded them that the “top producer” mindset alone wouldn’t take them far without the ability to connect with and understand those around them.?

Building genuine relationships, valuing others’ contributions, and showing gratitude can transform even the most challenging working relationships into partnerships built on mutual respect.?

In its simplest form, love can be a driving force for success in every workplace. As we try to teach our kids, sometimes a little kindness goes a long way in helping everyone get along despite the world's failure to do so.

A version of this article was originally published on Medium. I write about the art of human transformation, transcending suffering, and overcoming life’s challenges with transcendent unconditional love and forgiveness. You can learn more about my strategic coaching work at www.CliffordJones.com .