The Secret of True Leadership
Note: This started as a letter to my daughter. I’ve modified it to be suitable for a larger audience.
“Are you a leader or a follower?”
This question is often asked in grade school, job interviews, even by parents to their children. But what is True Leadership?
Over the course of my lifetime, Leadership has increasingly meant Corporate Leadership. The question above is actually asking if you can manage teams, rally and motivate people around you, set your feelings and opinions aside when necessary to meet provided goals, express yourself in a desirable manner.
These are aspects of leadership, however, they are also requirements for a corporate slave under the guise of leadership. For example, middle managers and above in 1000+ person companies are often chasing a personal goal of status, income, and fulfillment by continuing to do what they're told and being good workers. They are following someone else's goals and targets and applying some of their leadership skills to push their team to reach them.?
In this scenario, the manager will be praised if they follow, meet their goals, and do as they are told. Their managers will speak about how their subordinate is a strong leader while also taking some credit for “developing” or “coaching” them to get there.?
“This follower is doing such a good job doing what they are told, then making others do what we want, let's call this follower a leader.” It is a form of leadership, but the leader is still a follower in most cases.
So what is a True Leader?
A True Leader is someone who takes ownership and accountability of their own life. This is a decision one needs to make, commit to, and act upon.?
It applies to the three pillars of success in life: health, finances, and time.?
It is likely that one of your individual contributor peers is actually a True Leader, going unrecognized because they are choosing to do so. Their strength and leadership remain discrete until they choose to display or call upon it, not when they are told to do so. Some managers are True Leaders, but most are corporate monkeys dancing when they are told to and just as afraid of job loss as everyone around them because they have chased Corporate Leadership over True Leadership.?
True Leadership is freedom.
For example: When the tiny company you work for and love booms, and the company rapidly grows, you are no longer a builder but now forced to follow new, poorly hired management's decisions. You can watch the politics unfold, it is easy to identify the remedial quality of leaders who are really just followers. This can be from the C-level down. The True Leader can walk away from it all with that day being just another great day in their life. This is, in fact, what is often witnessed happening when a company goes public.?
The True Leaders walk away or are pushed out, and the company hobbles along, staggering and seeking true leadership. Sometimes it finds that leadership and pulls through, other times it can never quite pull out of the dip and loss of innovation the new, mediocre “leaders” reinforced by driving True Leaders away.
A True Leader has the ability to define their own values, and has had the discipline to reach a point where they can decide what is important to them and stay true to themselves. They can leave the job that changed and that they no longer enjoy. They can prioritize personal desires and needs. They have the freedom to make their own decisions and lead their own life, while the “Corporate Leaders” remain chained to the orders of their superiors.?
Becoming a True Leader takes time, experience, and discipline.
The process is long and most will never achieve it, but once the decision is made it commences immediately. Someone on the path to True Leadership understands there are times they will need to be a follower. They need to have goals, boundaries, and a willingness to study others who have success in the areas they are working towards. It will be a lifelong learning process that should bring a True Leader joy as they also learn about and develop themselves.?
Understanding what you are working towards is the first step, defining your goal. This will change over the course of your life. Always being conscious and aware of your goal should be a constant.?
What are your values?
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Serious thought should go into this, and the question should be revisited frequently because your values will also change. What are you willing and not willing to do to reach your goals? To stay true to yourself? To feel good about who you are? How do you handle failures? Hold yourself accountable? Understand how you can improve? Starting with extreme examples and then narrowing it down can be helpful with this thought process. Your boundaries will become clearer.?
Dig into your goal. Refine it.
I had a general idea at the age of 16 that I wanted to be retired by 30. I knew the house and lifestyle I wanted. That I didn't want to have to worry about money. Yet I had no concrete ideas, guidance, or metrics of what I needed to reach that goal, and failed to meet it.?
Questions I should have been asking were:
This is just the beginning of what I should have been asking, and then diving down the rabbit hole to further uncover more questions and deepen my understanding. From there, I could break down my larger goal into concrete targets and make adjustments as needed.?
With your goal and targets set, your values and boundaries understood, you are prepared for the lifetime of discipline to make it happen. There will be ups and downs, there will be huge wins and failures, there will be experiences that you have no idea are valuable until many years in the future. But you must remain disciplined, always with your goals and values in mind.?
Track your progress.?
Tracking your financial progress is easy. You can identify if you are exceeding or missing your targets and make changes as needed.?
More difficult is tracking your health. How is your mental health? How are your relationships with other people? Are you happy? Stressed? Anxious? Are you okay with how you feel on a day-to-day basis? What is your purpose? What drives/motivates you? How is your physical health? Are there things that can be done now to improve your health in the future? What do you enjoy and makes you feel good? Who brings positivity to your life? Who brings negativity? What can you do about it??
Spend time thinking about your health, relationships, and mental state. What is working and what needs improvement. Having a therapist is extremely helpful here to create benchmarks, aid with reflection, and in examining yourself.?
Time is also difficult to measure. The quality of how you spend your time is subjective. Our perception of time changes over the course of our lives. However, we all have a set amount of time. One life to live. And no one knows their expiration date. What do you do with your time? How much of your time is yours to decide how to spend versus others dictating what you do? Do you use your time wisely? How could you better manage your free time to improve your life?
My perspective is that there is a small window where most people can have their health, time, and money during their lifetime. My goal is to maximize that window of time as much as possible. I think about this when I view my time as a metric. What is my goal with how my time is spent? Do I get joy from how I'm spending my time? What freedom do I want to work towards with my time? Use it more effectively? Not have to spend so much doing what others require of me? Put more or less demands on myself? Need more or less structure??
As we progress through life, our goals and values change, and we learn from our mistakes. Your focus can drastically change depending on which of the time, money and health buckets are full or need attention. We can become True Leaders of our own lives, making decisions that enable us to have what we want in life. The earlier you start, the more freedom and experience you will have.
The majority of people do not take the time to learn about themselves to lead their own lives. They take on debt, spend too much time in bad relationships, surround themselves with people that do not help them grow, don't take care of their physical and mental health. Unconsciously waste their time. They minimize or miss entirely the portion of their lives where they could have had health, money, and time to do as they pleased.?
Part of this majority becomes Corporate Leaders many are told to aspire to. Even our education systems in the US have shifted to create graduates that will be high-earning, good workers. They are not taught to be True Leaders, and they are not free. A True Leader can choose to be a Corporate Leader, but the vast majority of people will never make the decision and take the actions to be a True Leader.?
Watch out for these wolves in sheep's clothing who will try to misguide you and steer you in the wrong direction for their own motives. Devote the time to put thought into yourself, learning who you are, what you want, and how you will achieve it. Work towards the freedom to leave the herd if and when you feel like it.?
It took me many years and many mistakes to learn these things, which I wish I had been taught at a young age. With the Internet and access you have to information now, you can educate yourself where formal education is lacking and achieve success and the lifestyle you desire at a much younger age. I hope this contributes to you building the future you want for yourself :)
Special thanks to Michael Potoczniak Vivek Malipatil Param Vora Alan Berkson Bobby Jaffari , True Leaders who shaped my views by leading by example, providing guidance, and accomplishing incredible feats in uncharted territories.
I help people figure out what business they're in...and then how to talk about it. | Positioning & Messaging | "API For US GTM" | Focused on corporate narrative and aligning messaging across brand, GTM, & product
8 个月A beautiful letter to write to your daughter, Kier. If I may, I would tell her about another quality of a leader her father exemplifies: being a growing person. Knowing that you don't know everything and that there is always more to learn. And great leaders find mentors. They know they can't do it alone.