Confessions of a Judgement Hoarder

I woke up early this morning around 5 am and heard a monstrous metallic roar outside the house. ??

I shot up and stepped out onto the balcony. ??

What I saw was somewhat confusing, to say the least.

A huge container was being lifted out of the ground and emptied onto a wagon. ??

This huge metal container was the underbelly of our little trash shoot. A small device we use here in Sweden to dispose of our non-recyled garbage.

What looked like an innocent little device the size of a regular garbage bin was concealing a huge pile of underground garbage. ??

Until this point, I had no idea where the garbage went after we dropped it down the little trash shoot, but after seeing and hearing this beast I was fully aware.

This got me thinking about the human condition. ??

Most of us (me included) consume garbage in the form of opinions and judgements about ourselves and others all day long without even realising were it goes.

Meanwhile, inside us, the garbage is piling up. ??

With nobody to clean it up. At some point, we become so full of crap that it leaks out in the form of angry outbursts, hurt feelings, projections of blame and guilt and so on.

Have you ever experienced this?

This leakage of inner garbage (shame-based judgement and opinions) reveals itself in our language, and how we behave towards ourselves and others. ????????

To test this out, try to think back to any bad day you have had recently.

Where you full of negative judgements and opinions about yourself and or others?

Notice how your whole day becomes a chore when this happens! ?????♂?

The leakage gets into everything, even the stuff we normally like.

Our partner, job, body's appearance. It all seems tainted in some way, and we can't quite figure out why? But we know we don't like it!

So we start wanting to change it. And this is where the problem can become even worse. ??

Because if the problem appears to be outside not inside it will lead to confusion and more pain. ????

For example; In the past when this used to happen to me (way too often btw), I would usually try to fix the problem by changing my circumstances; buying some new things to make myself feel better. ??

Later I progressed, somewhat to thinking more positively about life. But no matter how much I would try to positively affirm the problems persisted.

I later learned that this approach was like placing glitter on dog poop, no matter how shiny it looks, it's still poop. ???

Because I didn't get underneath the issue and clean up the source of the problem (my endless judgement of myself and others) the problems kept coming back, and so did the bad feelings. ??

Nowadays I take a different approach, I start by remembering that the garbage in me is filled up daily (whether I like it or not) and needs to be emptied daily. ??

Remember the garbage is a lifetime of accumulated judgement and opinions that we must clear out if we want to experience a positive lasting change in any aspect of our lives.

So how do we clean??? The process I use with myself and my clients is a 3 part process of forgiveness.

This process is an ongoing journey, however, the results can be huge.

Our eyes see through our opinions and judgements about the world.

I recently facilitated this process with a client who had been struggling to get a job for over a year. Within a week she had 2 offers one from a dream employer and another with a potential move to London (her ideal location).

When we empty the garbage using this method you create space for fresh ideas and opportunities to come through.

Because our eyes see through our opinions and judgements about the world.

When we clean our eyes we change our view of the world with it, including your view of yourself and others.

Here's how I do it:

Part 1 Take a few minutes after meditation and listen for the judgements about yourself and others and note them down. Things like “I should be doing this, or that,” “ this person is this or that”

Once complete go about the day and note down any more judgements that pop up in your mind. Then in the evening before bed Take 15 minutes to go through the list and forgive YOURSELF for believing these judgements using the following process:

For example; I have the judgement, my boss is cold and manipulative. This judgement creates resentment and it also acts on your brain's reticular activating system to start finding evidence to back it up. Soon that judgement has you arguing with your boss.

Part 2 Take the sentence above and during your 15 minutes close your eyes and think about a child or animal that you love unconditionally, tap into that feeling of unconditional love and open your heart up.

Part 3 Bring the same sentence to mind while placing your hand onto your heart and repeat the sentence “I forgive myself for judging (insert person) AS (insert judgement)

Once more allowing your heart to stay open my bringing back the feeling kindled from Part2 keep repeat the sentence until you feel a sense of relaxation occur and the warmth of love pour back into your body. (This may take a few minutes but stay with it)

Notice how you feel, repeat as needed.

That's it for now, there is a deeper level but we can save that for another post.

Give me a comment below if that would be of interest to you?

Just For Today, why not test out emptying the trash to freshen up your thought process...

And if you’re struggling with this be sure to reach out so I can help you with the basic formulation.

Lift up, light up, be the change you wish to see

With love

Ryan