The Secret to Transforming Dysfunctional Teams: Inside-Out vs. Outside-In

“When do you think is the best time to work on improving trust and collaboration in a team?” This is often one of the first questions we ask our clients at TeamTalks Pty Ltd . The most common answer is: “All the time.”

Bingo! No matter how high or low your team performs right now, trust and collaboration is a muscle that need constant attention. Celebrating together is as important as walking through the valley of conflict. Much like the recommendation by Bruce Tuckman's Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing theory which describes the phases that teams typically go through as they develop and grow.

Our next question: "And when are you currently making time to work on this? What is your cadence to work on this?" The three main answers we get are:

1. Silence.

2. "We are working on tight deadlines and don't have time for this right now."

3. "We have some internal conflicts that we need to look at first. This needs to be solved before we look at team coaching, an event, or even a program."

I can relate to answer three. It's a like procrastinating on hiring a cleaner for your home because it's too dirty or messy to let anyone in.

"I remember a project where tensions were so high that just getting everyone in the same room felt like a victory. But waiting for the perfect moment to address these issues only made things worse."

You see, the biggest misconception about conflict management is the expectation to fix the problem before we can move on. This “inside-out” approach often leads us to focus too much on the things that divide us. Have you heard the saying, "where focus goes, energy flows?" The better way to resolve conflict is to put your focus on things that unite people instead.

Questions you could ask about this:

1. What are the things we can only achieve together, not alone?

2. What is our common goal & purpose that we can agree on?

3. What is the joint mission we want to achieve with our work?

4. Who are the internal stakeholders we are serving together?

5. Who are the external stakeholders we are serving together?

6. When our relationship stays the way it is now, who else would be negatively impacted?

"Take a moment to reflect on these questions with your team. What insights do you discover?"

This approach is the "outside-in" approach. The focus now shifts to the things that join us together or things we have a shared responsibility for. These questions can be used in a 1:1 conflict or in a team where we feel there is a power imbalance, finger-pointing, or low engagement overall.

"Try using a shared document where team members can anonymously add their thoughts on these questions before a meeting. This can help surface common goals and concerns."

Psychologically, we are elevating the conversation to things that are bigger than the individual. The energy in the room will elevate by design. Once this is all spoken out and agreed upon, we can go back to the individual conflicts and reflect: "How is our conflict helping or harming our common goal we just agreed on?" The result? We can move past the conflict faster.

A Story of Unity: The Christmas Truce of 1914

Let me share a powerful story that illustrates this concept beautifully. During World War I, in the freezing trenches of the Western Front, something extraordinary happened on Christmas Eve of 1914. Despite being enemies locked in a brutal war, German and Allied soldiers initiated an unofficial truce. Soldiers from both sides ventured into no man's land, shook hands, exchanged gifts, and even played football together. For a brief moment, the horrors of war were set aside, and the shared humanity of these soldiers took center stage.

What brought about this truce? The soldiers found common ground in their shared experiences and the universal desire for peace and camaraderie, even amidst the chaos of war. They realized that their similarities far outweighed their differences.

This story perfectly encapsulates the outside-in approach. By focusing on what unites us—our shared goals and responsibilities—we can overcome even the deepest conflicts. Just as the soldiers in 1914 set aside their differences to celebrate together, teams can find common ground and move past internal conflicts by elevating the conversation to shared objectives and values.

In practice, this means asking questions that shift the focus from individual grievances to collective aspirations. By doing so, we can transform the energy in the room and create an environment where collaboration and trust can flourish.

"Next time you're facing a team conflict, try shifting the focus to your shared goals and watch the transformation. What other strategies have worked for you in fostering team unity?"