The Secret (and Surprising) Impostor Syndrome of Going on Parental Leave: How to Actually Hand Over Your Job Without Losing It

Ah, parental leave—a time meant for cuddles, bonding, and mastering the fine art of midnight wake-ups. But for many of us in Australia, that leave countdown is tinged with a surprising (and somewhat bizarre) flavour of impostor syndrome. You know the one: that sneaky voice whispering, “What if they get along just fine without me? What if my team… actually thrives?”While impostor syndrome is usually associated with stepping into new roles, a unique version of it can hit just as you’re preparing to step out for parental leave.

Instead of doubting your abilities, it’s your absence that stirs up the anxieties. It’s a cocktail of feeling both indispensable and invisible, a weird blend of “I’m irreplaceable!” and “Maybe I’m not needed after all.”And if you think you’re alone in feeling this way, think again. Here in Australia, around 60% of primary caregivers report workplace stress leading up to parental leave, according to the latest Household, Income and Labour Dynamics Australia (HILDA) survey. Additionally, nearly half (47%) of those returning to work feel some degree of displacement or career stagnation upon their return.But the good news? It doesn’t have to be this way!

Let’s look at a few strategies to keep impostor syndrome at bay and set your role up for a successful, temporary handover—without losing your mind in the process.

1. Recognise This as Impostor Syndrome, Not Reality

First off, name this feeling for what it is: impostor syndrome. Just because your team can function without you for a while doesn’t mean you aren’t valued or needed. In fact, a team that can adapt and absorb your role while you’re away is a testament to the work you’ve already done to set them up for success. Your role’s ability to function in your absence doesn’t prove that you’re replaceable—it proves that you’re a vital part of a strong system.

2. Handover (Like a Pro)

A well-planned handover can go a long way toward easing impostor syndrome. Start early, map out your essential duties, and document as much as possible. Think of it as creating a “role user guide” for your stand-in, including your unique insights, relationships, and processes. List the essentials that make your role yours, like insider knowledge on clients or workflows, and include things only you might know—those tiny insights that keep things moving smoothly. This exercise not only helps your team thrive in your absence, it also reminds you of just how much you bring to the table.

3. Define Communication Boundaries (and Stick to Them)

With flexible work now the norm, the line between work and parental leave can blur fast. Avoid the temptation to stay overly involved (or, worse, micromanage) from afar. Instead, set clear communication boundaries before you go. Some people find peace of mind with an occasional check-in; others prefer a hard “no-contact” rule.Make it clear to your team if you’re available only for urgent updates or if they should refrain from reaching out altogether. Just because you can check your emails doesn’t mean you should. Trust your team to reach out only when it’s absolutely necessary.

4. Practise Positive Visualisation (Really, Give It a Go)

This might sound a bit “woo-woo,” but positive visualisation can actually help manage anxiety. Picture yourself returning to work and being greeted by a warm welcome, seeing your desk just as you left it, and easing back into your role with confidence. Imagine that your team’s grateful to have you back and eager to fill you in on the highlights of your absence.Studies suggest that this mental rehearsal can build resilience and calm insecurities. Practising visualisation doesn’t just boost confidence; it also fights those “out of sight, out of mind” fears that feed impostor syndrome.

5. Remember You’re Part of a Larger Trend

Here in Australia, you’re far from alone in taking parental leave—90% of new mums and 95% of new dads take some form of leave, according to the Workplace Gender Equality Agency. More organisations are understanding that parental leave isn’t a “break”; it’s a natural part of the workforce lifecycle. With more people sharing similar experiences, we’re building a culture that values the need for parental leave and makes space for team members to step back without fear of losing their professional value.Parental leave shouldn’t feel like a career risk, and your workplace (ideally) knows that stepping away to grow your family is as essential as any work project you’ll ever take on. When you come back, you’re not only bringing fresh energy to your role—you’re also coming back with new strengths that will help you thrive in your career.

6. Embrace the New Skills You’ll Develop

Lastly, remember that parental leave isn’t a “pause” on growth. It’s a chance to build new skills that will serve you when you return. Think of it as an unofficial “MBA in life management,” where you’ll develop skills like time management, negotiating (hello, nap schedules), and prioritisation (sleep or laundry?). These new abilities will make you even better at your job, and ultimately, they’ll boost your confidence, both in and out of the office.

So, as you get ready for parental leave, remember that handing over your duties doesn’t mean handing over your value. Set up your team for success, quiet that inner impostor, and get ready for the adventure ahead. When you return, you’ll bring a whole new toolkit—and perhaps a few extra grey hairs!—but you’ll also bring fresh confidence and the invaluable perspective of a parent.

Going on parental leave? Lean in, let go, and trust your team—they’ll manage, your career will be here when you get back, and you’ll return even stronger.