The Secret Solution to Everything

Project past deadline? Receive a poor performance review? Lock yourself out of your house? Argument with the spouse? 

Possibly a more critical stressor; loss of a job, financial problems, or at the extreme, the illness or loss of a loved one.

Problems and stressors come in all shapes and sizes. The unrelenting weight of our choices, our lives and the entire world will continue to press down on you as you navigate your version of the day to day. You certainly have some control over the things that happen to you, but sometimes you do not.  

What can be done?

Spend time discerning what you can control.  Vent to the right audience about the things you cannot control (social media is probably not the best choice for this). Remain positive and realistic while thinking through some action steps that will help to overcome the items that you can positively impact. 

The secret?

Commonly overlooked, is the necessary step of listening to others.   You can never spend too much time trying to discover the unique perspective of others. 

While talking through some work-related challenges with a colleague recently, he pointed out that I have a very unique perspective. Initially, I took his statement as a compliment and went on with my day.  However, the more I thought about his observation and his follow-up questions, the more I realized that the magic of our conversation was not my unique perspective. Everyone has a unique perspective, there’s no escaping it. The magic was in his listening and seeing my point of view. I shared my perspective and he curiously listened and processed it without defending his own perspective. I shared without fear of being judged and he was interested in the content of what I was saying as a tool to better himself. Is it possible that two different perspectives can exist without being in debate with each other?

I don’t have 50 years of experience. When, and if I do have 50 years of experience, the perspective I have here and now will be gone. 

I have found much more satisfaction in attempting to truly understand someone than to try to change their perspective.  When you really think it through, you’re tirelessly doing battle with their entire life experience. I don’t want to change their mind, I only want to know it better for my own benefit!

I share this in the hope that you are open to my current perspective and possibly even inspired in some way. The real “magic” is that you are listening (reading) and using someone, anyone else’s unique perspective as a tool to better yourself. 

You have a unique perspective. Find a worthy audience and share it with them before it’s gone!  Most importantly, be a good audience for others. You never know who holds the solution to your problem until you listen.