The Secret Skill

As an executive life coach, my calling is to help people achieve their personal and professional goals in life. I help people move from where they are to where they want to go – and as fast as possible.

A huge part of helping people (coaching) is focused on habits – getting rid of bad habits and creating new habits.

One particular habit is incredibly important! This habit is so important that it should be a skill, something that is prioritized, improved upon, and perfected.

This skill I’m referring to is called LISTENING.

You probably know the difference between “hearing” and “listening.”

Hearing is simply the act of perceiving sound by the ear. If you aren’t hearing-impaired, hearing simply happens.

Listening, on the other hand, is something you consciously choose to do.

Listening requires concentration so that your brain processes meaning from words and sentences (and body language).

Your ability to look folks in the eye, and really listen to them as they speak, is the secret skill.

This is hard – super hard, but when done, and done well, can be transformational in its impact.

In my recruiting business, my #1 sales skill is my ability to listen.

In my executive life coaching business, my #1 coaching skill is my ability to listen.

As a husband, my ability to listen to my wife is key to our relationship.

As a co-worker, friend, son, brother, father, neighbor, colleague, or just a stranger, the best way I can show respect is to listen.

Listening is difficult. We can hear, but not listen at all. It happens all the time. We are bombarded with stimulus, noise, mental chatter.

Good listening is a close cousin to mindfulness. Good listening requires being in the moment – not thinking about other things, or the about the past, or the future.

Good listening requires focused, empathetic, honest attention to the person speaking – nothing else.

Good listening requires extreme effort, but the results are worth it.

On the days that I commit myself to being a good listener, everything seems to unfold better for me.

My advice to you – make an honest reflection and assessment of how good (or bad) a listener you are. Then, starting tomorrow morning, commit to being an unusually good listener for the entire day.

With every person you come in contact with, make a special effort to be present, and really listen to what they have to say. Be patient as you do this, make good eye contact, and resist the urge to speak over them.

I’ll bet that you’ll like the way things unfold for you as you do this, and if you’ll do this over and over, making it a daily habit, you’ll like the person you become.

I’m interested in your thoughts on this idea, so please shoot back a note to let me know what you think.

Thanks!

Coach Brett

PS – I have openings for a few more executive life coaching clients, so if you are interested in learning more, please let me know by filling out the information here.

If you’ve enjoyed this post, you should consider Downloading my latest E-Book, Top Ten Tips to Design and Live Your Exceptional Life.