The Secret of Self-Motivation

Our brains are wired to fight for survival and the motivation for survival outlasts all other motivations. As the successful say, “You will be successful when you want success as bad as you want oxygen to breathe” because breathing is a survival technique. If someone tries to choke you by not letting you breathe, you would fight the most to survive. This is the real secret which gets you’re self-motivated - Your Survival Instinct.

Have you ever seen people who irritate you because they are just not geared up to do anything in life? Why do they do that when they know success comes only when you move and when you move fast? Because it is that basic survival instinct that is missing as their key motivator. Try threatening an employee who doesn’t work properly by warning him of a pink slip. The employee would immediately start to perform.

You may think if survival is the only thing that motivates everyone then why not threatens every employee in a job to get the best performance? But it does not always work. Why?

Because job may not be a survival thing for everyone. A man who is the only breadwinner would have job loss as a big deal but, a person from a joint family, where he has more than one people earning, may not be that motivated to save the job.

But, if that is the truth, then how come we see so many stories of people who are motivated to do things that are not for survival at all! Because not everyone is only motivated by basic survival. Survival is the basic evolutionary brain pattern that exists in everyone but once survival is secured; your brain matures and searches for the next level till that level becomes as important as the survival.

For instance, when you are a kid, food is your survival but as you grow a little, studies become your survival - if you do not study, you would not get a job - the next level of survival and this keeps growing.  At one point, even a mobile phone can become your survival instinct. You wake up with its alarm, you talk to everyone with it, you use it for business, for your personal work, for entertainment - all put together, makes your phone a survival thing. So, purchase of a good mobile phone would be driven by your survival instinct.

The idea to thrive is to survive and survive so well that the level of your survival itself increases. Once you survived walking bare steps, a bicycle became your survival in the next step as it would let you go to school and to friends, then your bike and then your car. If you have been using a car for 5-10 years, will you survive without it even for a single day? You would say yes - what’s the big deal in a single day. But lets’ observe two situations -

1. Your car has gone for repair and you will get it next day.

2. You bashed your car in an accident and it is gone forever

You would easily survive in situation 1 but what about situation 2? Will you survive? Yes, you will but as it has become your survival instinct, you would feel a great pinch and work hard to get a car back. You would not rest till you get another. Now, that will bring you to next level and the need for the car will start to motivate you. Ever heard people say, “I lost everything when it was a recession. Now, I want everything back.” And such people work hard to get their things back. It’s not what you do not have that motivates you most but the thing that you lost and miss badly.

But how can you use survival instincts for success, if you are surviving enough without feeling a pinch? You can not- unless you feel the pinch -

·        You lose your phone, you will get a motivation to work harder

·        You lost a house, you will get a bigger motivation to work hard

·        You are put in a litigation, you will get motivated to get free because it disturbs your survival balance

It’s the balance that keeps you away from getting self-motivated for things and it is the survival instinct that makes you motivated to achieve things in life. Why else all successful people have miserable life stories in the back?

·        Isaac Newton, the famous scientist - His mother left him alone at the age of 3

·        J. K. Rowling, the Author of Harry Potter - She left her abusive husband and was left with a daughter and no job

·        Jim Carrey, the famous Hollywood actor - His dad lost his job and the family had to live in a VW van when he was only 14.

·        Oprah Winfrey, the world renowned host, and actress - She was a victim of sexual abuse and repeated molestation by family when she was growing up

Behind every success was some pain.

A never-give-up attitude does not come without great difficulties in life. If you find you are miserable in life today. This is the point you can use to get motivation for your life. You would be lucky if you do not have a normal but a very struggling life because it can be the reason why you would go out of your comfort zone, why you would have dreams, and why you would be motivated to work harder to achieve them.

But, what if you do not have a struggling life yet you want self-motivation and you want success? Make yourself uncomfortable, create motivation, and then have a dream to work towards.

 Try this -

1. List down all the things that you are so used to using that you cannot imagine a life without them. You have to really observe yourself closely. What are these things? A sample list is here:

·        Mobile Phone

·        Laptop

·        Kindle Book Reader

·        Books

·        Tea

·        Bed

·        Television

·        Earphone

·        Netflix Subscription

·        Library subscription

·        Refrigerator

·        Laptop bag

·        Website

·        LinkedIn Account

The list can be endless.

2. Now pick one of these and plan to give it up - Donate it to someone. What can you give up? Remember, it has to pinch you and it should not be easy to get back

After you lose your thing, at first you will feel it is ok, you know that you will live without it soon but you will feel a little pinch and the pain will start to grow as you realize that with that thing, your life was so much easier.

For example, if I decide to give up Kindle reader. I would remain restless for days, months and even years until I have the budget to buy another. It actually happened to me - I did not give it away but my device got damaged beyond repair so I was restless till I could get it back. Because of my other commitments towards business, house, and family, I could never set aside a good amount for it and it took me 1.5 years to get another Kindle (And I got the highest specification).

I was restless and my survival instincts were working. I could not buy it immediately because it was not available on EMI so needed to make a one-shot payment which I could do after a long time.

I had another similar experience when my website caught a virus and I could not get my data back. I remained upset till I could purchase another domain and web space, and developed a brand new website.

3. After you have given away your precious thing, make success goals, define them clearly and decide to get back the thing only after you achieve a certain goal.

For instance, I did not get the Kindle back immediately after saving money but I decided to first grow my business to a level and save to a certain level only after which I would purchase the Kindle. So it was like an accounting mark that I had put in my head - ‘I will get new Kindle only when I will have “N” more clients in business and “X” savings in my bank account.

Now, I use the same strategy to motivate myself today to get a new DSLR and I know I would not rest till I get one. Actually, it’s not just one thing but there are several more things that I lost in life and want them back.

Having taken these first 3 steps, you are geared up for using survival instincts to achieve your goals. The thing that you want back may not be your actual success goal but it will be your survival instinct.

For instance, in my case, I wanted Kindle back which was my survival instinct - a self-motivation but I attached this instinct to getting more clients which was my goal. So, I made a variety of such combinations of self-motivating survival instinct and Success goals such as -

Survival Instinct - Get a new Mobile; Goal - Get “N” New projects

Survival Instinct - Get a DSLR; Goal - Get ABC Company registered

Survival Instinct - Get a car; Goal - Achieve a turnover of “A”

Make your list now.

You may wonder if this will work. If goals and motivation behind goals are not connected then how can it work? Now, think of a sales employee who wants to buy a BMW (maybe he had it once but lost it in a car accident or lost it because of financial issues) which is possible only with more salary, for which he needs promotion, for which he has to get the company a Rs. 1 Crore project. Would such an employee be motivated because of BMW but would work to get 1Crore for the company?

Do you remember the times when you parents used to motivate you with a promise to give a chocolate to make you do your homework?

It always works! If a chocolate can motivate a child to do homework, a BMW can motivate an employee to achieve targets then you can motivate yourself with your survival instinct to push yourself towards your success goal.

So, take a quiet time for yourself and take a decision to give up one thing - giving up will actually transform your life in such a way that you will not only get the lost thing back, but also much more in the process, depending on what you plan to achieve, and what you decide to lose for that.