A secret ... a promise ...

?As the years have gone by, seldom has there been a situation where my father has not been able to find a bright side. You get laid off from your job and call him…he says, “that just means there’s a better one coming”. Your car breaks down and you need to spend a chunk of cash to get it fixed…he says, “well just be happy you had the money”. Walk in with a bad haircut…he says, “it’ll grow back”. I promise you, that dude will spin anything into a positive…except war.

He fought in Korea and Vietnam and whenever he mentions those places, those experiences, he never, ever says anything good. Prior to his leaving on what would be his final tour of Vietnam, he and my mother sat down, and he openly discussed with her the horrors of war. 

The sight of men you had become close to perishing, the stifling heat of the jungles, the constant threat of an attack at all points of the day and night—he went over all that. He had cheated death so many times and here he was, being sent to cheat it one more again but this time…something inside of him said death would win. 

She listened…and then she told him a secret…

After hearing her secret…he made her a promise…

***

My mother was a small woman in stature that is. She was small in stature but when she entered a room, her presence was always felt; her presence spoke for her. Her presence spoke for her but for the longest time, even her presence kept a secret. 

Day after day, she went about her routine, drinking coffee and having girl time with her best friends, one next door and the other three doors down. When they got together, it was special I tell you. Then one morning, she woke up in a bit of pain and asked the girls if they could come by a little earlier than normal. Upon arrival, she asked if they’d mind taking her to the hospital and of course they said yes. 

They loaded up the car with mom calling dibs on the back seat where she leaned her head back softly for the ride. The driver looked back and asked how she felt to which she replied, “just fine”. A few minutes passed, and the passenger peered over her shoulder and asked if she needed anything…”no, just keep going”.

They kept going and came to a red light at which time the driver turned completely around and demanded an answer to which my mother softly replied

“Sweetheart…can’t you see I’m having a baby”?

The secret was out…and that baby…was me. 

***

Thousands of mile away soldiers were fighting an enemy that in most cases they couldn’t see. Bullets flying, bombs bursting, bodies falling and with each occurrence the likelihood of my father returning home lowered. He told me he fought harder than ever that time and did things, took chances he never took before because he had made a promise. 

He fought hard because he promised to get home to see this newborn baby girl. Yes, my parents just knew that they were going to have a girl this last time around and decided Lynn would be her name. So, when the doctor handed me to my mother and saw that I was in fact a him and not a her, he offered her the chance to change the spelling of my name. “No sir” she replied. “That’s the name my man and I chose, that’s the way we spelled it, put it down”. 

I wear that name proudly and seldom does a week go by that I don’t get a piece of mail addressed to “Ms. Lynn Pearcey” or “Mrs. Lynn Pearcey” instead of Mr. Lynn Pearcey. I smile, chuckle (especially when it’s makeup!) Whenever I tell my father he gets a kick out of it too. I’ll also stop and think to myself that somewhere up there, Mom is smiling and chuckling too…smiling, chuckling and letting me know in her own special way that even though she is on the other side, nothing can ever separate the three of us…

Nothing.

***

If you find a woman who can keep a secret, that special secret…keep her. 

And if you find a man who is willing to fight to keep a promise…never let him go.