Secret Parenting.....
Nathalie Brodard
Entrepreneur l Board Member l Keynote Speaker l Forum des 100 Alumna
Have you heard about the phenomenon of "Secret Parenting"? Maybe not, but you've probably found yourself facing a tough situation, having to balance important work meetings with the challenge of picking up your child from daycare or school.
I remember my endless meetings with managers (when I was an employee), constantly checking my watch every 10 minutes, worried that the nursery was going to close and my baby would be left waiting for me (again), the look on the childcare worker's face... and me sweating and feeling soooo guilty. Why didn't I arrange it differently? Why didn't I just say sorry, I have to leave...I was a young mum, ambitious career woman, who didn't know how to juggle with both. Am I the only one??
And let's not even get started on those impossible-to-schedule doctor's appointments – they always seem to be possible during the busiest workweeks, don't they? Okay, I might be exaggerating a bit, but you know what I mean, right? ??
I red something about "Secret Parenting" last week and then found that the economist Emily Oster talked about it first in her article in 2019. She illuminated on how women often start 'secret parenting' when they are pregnant, hiding their pregnancy and not mentioning their children when returning to the workplace.
As I think about it, in my career as a recruiter, I've noticed that the issue of "Secret Parenting" is quite common. It often comes into play even before a man or a woman join a company, particularly when they are seeking employment. For instance, one candidate confessed, "During my current job search, I refrained from mentioning that I am a single parent, as I feared it might work against me. Another candidate once revealed that she generally hides the fact that she has four children. But why??
Some employees feel the need to hide their parental status because they fear that disclosing it may have negative consequences for their job prospects our progression in a company. Some of them could worry that potential employers may view parents as less committed...Seriously??
Well, we all have those "everyday" parenting challenges that we don't necessarily want to share with our bosses, clients, or colleagues. But what happens when things get really really tough, like health issues or other critical family matters?
"Secret parenting" can then become a heavy burden. By sharing our experiences and openly addressing our challenges, we can contribute to breaking this silence and building a more understanding and supportive professional environment.
Parenting in the world of entrepreneurship - easy peasy....or not?
Now, for us dear entrepreneurs, we're no strangers to the ups and downs of running a business. But when family illnesses or crises hit, dealing with "Secret Parenting" becomes even trickier. We're expected to maintain a professional image, right? Who wants to work with a business leader who looks worried and distracted? So, here's the big question: should we bring up these big personal challenges in our professional lives?
As entrepreneurs, we have the right to decide how much of our personal lives we want to share. But it's also essential to remember that our colleagues, partners, and employees are, after all, human beings!
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Growing a business when your mind is preoccupied may seem impossible, but remember, you're not alone in this. By sharing your concerns and maybe even considering some temporary adjustments to your schedule, you can keep your business on track while taking care of your family's well-being.
"Success is not about the destination, it's about the journey and finding balance in all aspects of life." - Celestine Chua
I love this quote! Does it speak to you as well? Let me know ...
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Founder of The Urban Chief - Marketing Agency || "The Growth Lady" || President of Maharashtra Marketing Council-WICCI || Digital Marketing Strategist || Help Build Brand Online || Public Speaker || Let’s talk
1 年Secret Parenting, I see. Great article Nathalie Brodard than you for sharing it withus. On that note, I would like to share a post. It's a short audio post that talks about how we can help children learn and be better leaders in this diverse world. Have a look and please do share your thoughts on it. https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/theurbanchief-marketing-agency-mumbai_how-do-you-teach-kids-to-accept-and-respect-activity-7157920106218459138-WzyK?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop .
Strategic Planner / Data and Analysis / Digital Communications
1 年As a single parent (widower) who has had to balance work, life and a kid, I’ve been up front about my situation and most work environments have been supportive. I guess it’s also about figuring out priorities for both sides… as remote work has been possible more recently it’s helped the situation to be present as a parent (although there are still challenges).
Director Administration & Corporate Services | Project Management | Operations, Construction & Facility Management | Business Continuity | Risks | Innovation | SDG | Sustainability | Procurement
1 年I had years of field works, travelling extensively and compensating when coming home. And then I had years of custody every other week when I would arrange my working time to take care of 3 boys. I won't say taking care of 3 kids wasn't without any challenges. However, I wouldn't change this parenting experience for anything. To the contrary I would encourage more fathers to engage, do their parts and as managers compose to make work-life balance a reality.
Senior Business Analyst IT Department
1 年Hello, Vaste sujet en effet… il y a 2 ans j’ai vu un ??expert CV?? d’un cabinet de recrutement qui m’a conseillé de retirer de mon CV la mention qui dit que j’ai 3 enfants car cela pourrait être discriminatoire et par conséquent je pourrais ne pas obtenir d’entretien à cause de ?a. J’ai refusé en lui répondant que si je le faisais j’aurais le sentiment d’être malhonnête et, que de toute fa?on, ?a me convenait parfaitement de ne pas décrocher d’entretien auprès d’une société qui aurait ce genre de valeur. Il n’a absolument compris pas position et m’a dit à demi-mot qu’il ne fallait pas que je me plaigne si je ne trouvais pas de travail. Il y a encore du chemin à faire visiblement…. Je devrais lui écrire pour lui dire que ?a n'a pas été un frein pour un trouver du travail ??????
Laetitia Vitaud , ce n’était pas un de tes sujets aussi?