The Secret to More 'Me Time': A Working Mom's Perspective

As a first-time mom juggling a full-time job, I've discovered a simple yet highly effective way to carve out more time in my day. It's not rocket science, but it can be a game-changer. If you find it hard to believe, stay with me.

The Challenging Journey of Motherhood

About three weeks ago, my son celebrated his first birthday. It's been quite a journey so far, one that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world–but it's crucial to acknowledge that the path of motherhood is undeniably challenging.

A few months back, I had one of those exceptionally rough days where I couldn't help but shed a few tears. I decided to go for a walk, pushing my son in the stroller while silently weeping behind him. The thoughts swirling in my mind were hard to confront... I love this little human more than words can express; there's nothing I wouldn't do for him. I'd walk through fire for him if necessary. But simultaneously, I find myself missing the old me. I miss that sense of freedom, the ability to leave the house with nothing but my phone and wallet, the time for workouts, and the feeling of being well-rested.

Guilt began to creep in. How could I have these thoughts? What kind of mother was I? The tears flowed even more.

A couple of days later, I revisited this moment mentally and decided to sit with this uncomfortable feeling a bit longer. I wanted to delve deeper into these emotions, to see if there was a way to reconcile both sides of myself.

The First Year: A Time of Survival

Becoming a parent fundamentally changes who you are. First, you nurture a living being inside you for nine months (let's pause for a moment to appreciate the incredible feat of growing a heart, bones, and everything else inside of you). Then, just as you think you're about to return to your 'old life and self' after giving birth, you quickly realize that the old you is nowhere to be found, neither mentally, emotionally, nor physically.

Everyone keeps telling you that the first year is all about survival, and I wholeheartedly concur. The first few months, you're awake most of the time within a 24-hour window. Your baby needs to be fed every 2-4 hours. And although you may think it's ample time to "sleep when the baby sleeps," that's not how things actually work. Never!?

After surviving the first four months, you typically have to return to work. Now, you're not only in "survival mode" at home but also at work. With four months of maternity leave, you have a lot to catch up on and very little time to prove that you're still capable. You're in work survival mode while constantly thinking, "How's my baby doing? Is he eating well? Is he hurt? Did he sleep? Did I pump enough? Did I miss a session? Is my supply going down?" The list goes on.

The Turning Point

My son didn't start sleeping through the night until he was 9 months old. It wasn't until that point that I could even contemplate having some "me time" again. It was somewhere around this time that I went on that walk and experienced all those emotions. And it was then that I decided to seek a solution – not a solution to find my old self, because she no longer exists, but a way to discover my new self. And I did.

If you've made it this far, remember that what worked for me might not work for you. Nevertheless, I want to share my strategy, as I believe it could resonate with other moms out there.

The Secret Sauce

So, what's the secret sauce? The not-so-rocket-science strategy I uncovered to find myself again?

Early mornings. Yes, I told you it's not rocket science. What I found was that I needed more 'me time' and by simply shifting my wake-up time I was able to accomplish this.

For over a month now, I've been getting up between 4 am and 4:30 am every single morning. I kickstart my day with a substantial bottle of water and dive right into a workout. Afterward, I shower, get dressed, and sometimes even put on mascara. Then, I light a candle, make myself a cup of coffee, and read for the remaining 10-30 minutes before my baby wakes up around 7 am.

And let me tell you, it's been a game-changer. I know what you're thinking: 4 am sounds insane! Well, it's only insane if you go to bed late. Most nights, I have around two hours to take care of some work, dishes, laundry, etc., before I usually head to bed at 9 pm, just two hours after my baby.

Is it a smooth ride every day and night? Absolutely not! Some nights are still challenging for my little one, and when that happens, I allow myself to snooze that alarm for a bit longer. What I don't allow, though, is to abandon my morning routine, my 'me time', completely. It may be a bit shorter, but it's still there.

With all that being said, from one mom to another, motherhood can be incredibly demanding. However, if you can carve out even a small bit of precious alone time, trust me, you'll feel like a new person. If you're not there just yet, be patient and kind to yourself. Most of what you're going through is a phase – it will pass. So, hang in there, find what works best for you and your family.

You've got this!