The Secret to Knowing When He is Lying
Brian G. Burns
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For anyone who is a fan of real life crime stories should check out HBO’s new series “THE JINX”. The series is about Robert Durst who is accused of several murders as well as cross-dressing and stealing a $6 sandwich.
The series is interesting from more then just a crime solvers point of view. Of course there is almost as much evidence and motive as the OJ Simpson case but I found a particular issue of interest.
Caution Possible Spoiler Alert - If you do not want to know when he is lying read no further and enjoy the show.
As a amateur student of body language and facial ticks I noticed Robert Durst has a particularly obvious tick or “Tell”. I will admit it took me to the third episode to notice it but it is very consistent. When Robert lies he squints his eyes. Being a man in his 70’s this is particularly noticeable because of the wrinkles around his eyes. Robert would be asked do you know what happened to your Wife? Robert would squint. Do you know what happened to your best friend? Robert would squint. General questions about his life and whereabouts would not generate a squint.
Of course this is just a pattern but the pattern is consistent and should be tested against a set of questions where we know he is lying.
Now you maybe asking is this of any real use other then a as a conversational topic? Perhaps not but what if you started to look for body posture, hand position and facial expressions? I get it, it is a lot to do while your also trying to listen and stay focused on the conversation.
The good news is that this is a skill that can be learned during your downtime while your watching TV. To learn the fastest I have found that searching YouTube for keyword skills i.e. “facial expressions lying” will get you started. Then watch a true crime show like 20/20, Dateline or anything on ID-TV.
We should consider what others are telling us by more then the words they say. Of course we have learned many of the overt and obvious gestures but what if we could start to notice when other are stretching the truth or faking interest? Would that be a useful skill in your role? Could we find out more with our eyes then just our ears alone?
Let me know if you picked up anymore of Mr. Durst’s “Tells”. I will share new ones as I find them.
If you listen to PodCasts, check out mine “The Brutal Truth about Sales & Selling”.
If you Liked this post I would be honored if you gave me a Thumbs Up and Shared this post. Also please comment with you thoughts on how useful this skill would be.
I welcome connections and thanks for reading this post,
Brian
Web & Cloud Technologies | Startup Enthusiast | Advisor for Growth | Bitcoin Fan
10 年Brian Burns, do you know the series "Lie to me" would be interesting if you can use the techniques in Sales. Best
President
10 年Thanks Brian Burns To explore more in depth checkout a great book 'You Say More Than You Think' by Janine Driver. She teaches how to use these skills to help create stronger, more trusting relationships.
Board Member Evangeline Partners, Inc.
10 年His lips are moving?
Relationship Coach & Hypnotherapist
10 年Great post, Brian. Will check out Jinx. There's an awesome NLP exercise called 2 Truths and a Lie. It's practice for calibrating when someone is telling the truth and when they are lying. All based on the type of patterns you're elucidating. Thanks for the share.