The Secret Happiness Of Another’s Misfortune

Other persons loss is our gain

Other persons fall is not our pain

Other persons hurt is always unheard. 

Yes, at times consciously or unconsciously we find pleasure in hurting others or seeing them in pain, their pain gratifies us and we tend to express our joy in different ways like getting excited, talking to our friends about it or have a sense of some kind of achievement. The reasons for this may be rivalry- based as it justifies our sense of self-worth, justice-based people feel that karmas of his previous misdeed are retributed and feel superior about it or aggression-based as it pacifies our low self-esteem that are suppressed in our mind.

Let us consider few examples, have you ever found yourself grinning inside when any of your friend who was always ahead of you in academics was not able to secure a good job? Or have experience a road accident, instead of helping we start clicking pictures to get more views, likes and comments on our social media that makes us feel important.

In this competitive and materialistic world where people are struggling and looking for success, happiness and life pleasures, we come across some individuals who demotivate, who try to pull each other down or are so self- centered that they block other persons goals and their dreams, so aren't we suppose to hurt them or wait for their karma’s to play?

That’s how we think, right?

We all have a dark side and it is quite natural that our brain will choose pleasure over fear, but the intensity and degree of such feeling vary from person to person and molded in our early childhood years based on values we have acquired from our family and our near and dear ones.

Such pleasures are short lived and it is important that we learn to get rid of such hidden feelings, understand why do we feel what we feel, will help us to respond more thoughtfully than impulsively.

Why do we need to get into such a thoughtless mess?

 Why do we need to bask in delight at someone’s mistake?

Why do we have to rely on such a short-lived pleasure?

Take a break, reflect on the cycle of negative thoughts. It is important to deal with such feelings and change the way we think, look and feel the situations.

You are precious: - Your time, your thoughts, your ideas are precious and cannot be wasted for anyone. Acknowledge your feelings and your hatred for others, this is the most step that will help you to deal with the irrational thoughts.

Attract good energies: - Surround yourself with people who guide, support and try to calm you down in all situations. Start valuing good people in your life and acknowledge their goodness.

Derive pleasure from your hobbies: - Deriving pleasure from someone’s downfall is not at all productive. Create hobbies and polish your skills, remember you are precious, so are your most prized possession ‘skills’, your attitude and skills will move you towards tranquility and real-life pleasures that will stay lifelong. Use your time productively and wisely.

Laugh at your mistakes: - Mistakes are part and parcel of every person’s life, no one is a saint. We make mistakes, we repeat and we repeat multiple times. Somewhere we have to stop, reflect, rewind, rejuvenate our thoughts and perceptions and continue on our journey.

Take expert advice: - What’s the harm! If some small investment can change the way you think and deal with situations, why not?

Forgive and be humble: - Consider every bad episode as learning which will eventually help in dealing with similar situations in future maturely. Forgive and be humble even if you dislike some people, it is ‘okay’, try to cut off your communication with them completely or learn to deal with them in a more rational manner. Remember “if it costs your peace of mind, the price is too high.”

Author - Lifez Honour Family

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