The Secret to Happiness, and Why We Love to Hate Meetings

In a famous Harvard University study spanning more than 80 years, researchers are tracking the health and happiness of a large sample of people throughout their entire lives. The study has involved four generations of researchers, and it’s still running. The 12-minute TED Talk from the study’s current director, Robert Waldinger, has been viewed more than 39 million times. That’s less than the 4 billion YouTube views for Psy’s “Gangnam Style,” but I bet Waldinger enjoys rock star status in academic psychology circles.??

In the video, Waldinger explains that when asked about their major life goals, 80% of millennials say they want to become rich, and over 50% say they want to become famous. Yet the study reveals that happiness has no correlation with wealth, fame, or social status. Some study participants enjoyed increasing wealth and social status, while others’ lives went in the other direction. There was no evidence that those who climbed the ladder lived happier lives than those who went down the ladder.??

“Money can’t buy me love,” sang the Beatles. We all know of plenty of tortured famous or powerful people who seem unhappy. Here’s a very partial list of some of the rich and famous people, as well as some historical figures, who apparently have had depression: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Katy Perry, Michael Phelps, Bruce Springsteen, Lady Gaga, J.K. Rowling, Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, Isaac Newton, and Beethoven, and the list goes on.??

Here, I want to be careful not to suggest too strong a link between depression and day-to-day emotions. Depression is a debilitating medical condition caused in great part by physiological—rather than, or in addition to, psychological—factors. But you get the idea. It’s conventional wisdom that the millennials’ lifetime goals (e.g., wealth, fame) won’t necessarily bring them happiness. To be clear, I’m not saying there’s a negative correlation either. I don’t think that being rich and famous makes you less happy. And I believe ambition is a good thing, if managed properly.??

But the punchline of the Harvard study is that the number one factor of long-term happiness in people’s lives is positive relationships. Humans are a social species. Waldinger explains that “people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, physically healthier, and live longer than people who are less well connected.”??

In the corporate world, people love to hate meetings. Everyone complains about them, but we keep having them. Viewed through the lens of relationships, we begin to understand why meetings are so popular. We’re wired to crave social connections.??

Also, social interactions can bring a sense of “flow” (the sensation of being fully engaged in something)—for example, when you work with a colleague to solve a tough problem, when you debate a smart person on a controversial topic, or when you engage in witty banter with friends. These are all situations that put your brain in the sweet spot between boredom and anxiety.??

“Socializing is more positive than being alone, that’s why meetings are so popular,” suggested Mihaly?Csikszentmihalyi, the father of the theory of flow.?

Now, I can’t believe I just defended corporate meetings. Let’s just say I explained corporate meetings. How often do you think, “This meeting should have been an email”? It’s important to make meetings matter. Set an agenda, don’t let anyone monopolize the conversation, and encourage discussion. PowerPoint can be an instrument of torture if you’re merely reading slides to your colleagues at a slower pace than they can read them. Steve Jobs famously said that people who know what they’re talking about don’t need PowerPoint. Amazon bans PowerPoint across the board.?

But going back to relationships, the flipside of positive relationships can be debilitating.

In his TED Talk, Waldinger says, "The experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic. People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner, and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.”??

As a business leader, I care about relationships with employees, my colleagues, and my bosses. Relationships at work have a significant influence on how we think about job satisfaction day to day. How do you feel in the morning before going to work? Do you dread starting the day? If so, chances are that some poor working relationships have something to do with it. In turn, chances are that these poor relationships are a side effect of poor culture.??

At one point in my life, I made a career choice almost entirely based on corporate culture.??

I had to decide between two compelling job offers. It came down to the wire. I sat down at the dinner table with my wife, Anne. We made a list of pros and cons—from a professional point of view and for the family. The pros and cons were different, but the two balances looked equal. It was so close that in the end we made the decision based on a single factor: One company emphasized positive working relationships.??

Of course, every company will say that. Collaboration and mutual respect are the motherhood and apple pie of the corporate world. I dare you to find one senior executive who says that collaboration is unimportant at their company. But through the interview process, I could tell these people were the real deal. Interviewers went out of their way to talk about mutual respect and collaboration as a competitive advantage. Everyone talked about the firm’s culture with passion. They all asked about my leadership style. Between the lines, the message was: You may be an expert at what you do, but if your leadership style is lacking, you won’t be a good fit.??

It turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. The job is full of challenges, which keeps me in flow, miles away from the boredom zone. And, every day, I’m glad I made the choice to join T. Rowe Price…because I work with nice people.?

?

?References

Liz Mineo, “Good genes are nice, but joy is better: Harvard study, almost 80 years old, has proved that embracing community helps us live longer, and be happier.” The Harvard Gazette, April 11, 2017. See also Waldinger’s Ted Talk “What makes a good life?” December 23, 2015.?

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, “Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life.” Basic Books, April 6, 1998.?

?

?

Important Information?

The views contained herein are as of the date posted and are subject to change without notice; these views may differ from those of other T. Rowe Price group companies and/or associates.?

Information and opinions presented have been obtained or derived from sources believed to be reliable and current; however, we cannot guarantee the sources' accuracy or completeness.

T. Rowe Price Associates, Inc.

? 2022 T. Rowe Price. All Rights Reserved. T. ROWE PRICE, INVEST WITH CONFIDENCE, and the bighorn sheep design are, collectively and/or apart, trademarks of T. Rowe Price Group, Inc.

202207—2281334?

?