THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS - THE MODERN FABLES BY WAQI

Once upon a time in a land far away there was a village called Mind. The inhabitants of Mind were searching for an end to the suffering in their village caused by the constant chatter in the Mind, arising out of comparisons, greed, and the need for continuous stimulation through achievements, stretching for tough targets, and the desires for physical and mental fulfillment. They wanted happiness in their lives but did not know how to achieve this coveted state of being. They thought that if they could amass wealth, be better than other villages or become technologically advanced, they would achieve happiness. However, despite huge progress in all areas, sustainable happiness was missing in their lives. 

It so happened that a group of learned friends, despaired by constant stress, went to see a wise old man who lived in the village. The wise man listened to their pleas empathetically and told them that he knows of a place where if you reach you will learn the secret of happiness. He suggested that maybe they should visit the place to learn its secret. One of the friends in the group asked in a doubtful tone, “How can a place provide happiness? Is it the air, food, or some sort of magic that keeps the people of this location happy all the time?” The wise man replied, “You will have to reach this place to find it for yourself.” One bright girl inquired, “Have you been to this place?” The wise man replied, “Yes. I often reach this place. The more you go there, the easier it becomes to reach. It’s a journey that everyone has to take on his own. Beyond this I cannot help you.” A smart Alec with a smirk asked, “Do you have a map of the place?” The wise man remained quiet, closed his eyes, and disengaged with the group and with a calm smile, transcended into his meditation. 

A few of the friends that visited the wise man, we're excited and decided to pursue the journey in search of happiness. Just the thought of it made them pleasant and gave them renewed energy. Then ensued the mega search for this magical place that had the secret of happiness. Internet search engines were on fire with the inquiries, some traveled far and wide, some sought the counsel of globe trotters and travel agents, while others looked into historic texts of great adventurers. Alas, no progress. It was disappointing but even in this despair, they did find many people in different villages who seemed happy and content with their lives. They were few but there were happy people. 

Some of the seekers of happiness complained about the journey and how they have to keep looking for it and how this consumes their time which could have been spent in the pursuit of their worldly goals. The more they complained the further they found themselves from happiness. Some gave up on the search and accepted their mundane life. They consoled themselves by saying that this happiness is just a vague concept to keep people running after it. In reality life is suffering. Interestingly these people were the ones who were most scared of death. Then there were some who were actively pursuing happiness and felt that the journey itself was giving them immense enjoyment and energy. At least they were gaining some new experience. 

Years were passing by and the more they searched for happiness the more it eluded them. Then one day, one of the girls from the group called each of the friends and arranged a reunion, stating she had found happiness while on a recent trip to a land far away. Excited to hear her story, the friends immediately got together at their favourite restaurant for lunch. The weather was perfect, so they all decided to sit outside in the open to bask in the warmth of the spring sun with a pleasant breeze that was keeping them cool.  

The group was excited to meet their friend and were pleasantly surprised to see how full of energy she seemed. There was a radiant glow on her face and a fragrant stillness in her demeanor as if she was unperturbed by the rising and falling tides of worrisome thoughts. They hugged their friend and inquisitively asked, “Tell us everything you found.” The friend started, “Well, I was on a trip and was told of a family that is always happy, irrespective of the situation, so I decided to visit them. The family had an amazing energy level and calming pleasantness about them. They greeted me as if we knew each other since ever.” She continued, “I told them that I have been searching for happiness for years but have not found it anywhere. I was told that you as a family are always happy, so I thought about seeing you to learn about the secret to happiness.” 

The head of the family smiled and replied, “I can understand that you are not happy, as you cannot have something that you are searching for.” He then said something profound, “You don’t find happiness, you create it.” I asked the patriarch, “How do you create happiness? I work hard and have been making excellent progress in my career, yet I have not been able to create happiness.” The patriarch again smiled and said, “Happiness is not a thing and it cannot be created with toys.” He then explained, “What I mean by toys are things that you can buy like a beautiful house, a car, or expensive clothing. Even a beautiful career or business that you sculpt with your dedication, passion, and intelligence is a toy. If you lose a toy, you can get it again. The most important thing in life is life itself and the living experience and how we make it pleasant.” He then reflectively said, “Happiness is a state of mind, a choice that each one can and should make. It is not dependent on anything. You can choose to be happy and you can make the choice now.” 

I was trying to grasp the thoughts and clarified, “So happiness is not something you work to achieve. It is a normal state that comes from making a choice to be happy. I still don’t get it. I have wanted happiness and if this was so simple, I would have been happy for a long time.” The lady of the house who was attentively listening to the conversation interjected, “Yes, it is not easy to be happy all the time and this is why not everyone is happy.” She continued, “A way to train yourself is by practicing attrition instead of accumulation.” I asked, “Practice attrition?” She calmly said, “Yes, practice attrition of ego, greed, negativity, fears, and comparisons. The more you lose of these the more pleasant and happy you become.” She continued, “This is step one. Step two is to bring more gratitude in your life for every small blessing and step 3 is to keep in perspective that life is short and will eventually end, so choose your moments well.” I was enjoying the pearls of wisdom, as they were resonating with me. 

The patriarch then said, “We always have a choice. We can choose gratitude over ingratitude, forgiveness over revenge, positive action over worry. It is a choice and once you make it you can practice training the mind to react positively to situations.” He then said in a decisive tone, “Happiness is all in the mind. It is a feeling, not a thing or a place.” 

I now understood what the wise man was alluding to when he was suggesting us to search for a place full of happiness. He was encouraging us to tap into the deepest recesses of Mind to create a beautiful place inside it that is full of pleasantness without the on-going chatter. He wanted us to take our journey so we can experience life and understand how we avoid mixing happiness with achievements and things. 

I philosophically said, “Achieving fame or wealth does give a good feeling as if we have happiness closer to us. The high from the burst of energy when you accomplish something is so fulfilling that you long for more highs. When these highs don’t appear or are of less strength, we feel sad and depressed. I have been constantly yearning for the highs which are few and far in-between.” 

The lady of the house, got up and came and sat with me, held my hand, and said, “Ambition and achievement are separate from happiness. Happiness is the way. It is a strategy to lead life.” She explained, “Strategy is simply a choice and you make the choice to be happy irrespective of the fact that you reach your goals or not. The success of a robust strategy depends on focusing on what to do and equally in avoiding what not to do. Making clear choices and sticking to them is the most difficult thing. The strategy of happiness has courage at its core and works through the attrition of fear, negativity, and complacency.” 

There was a silence for a while as people were internalizing what was said. The patriarch then broke the silence, “To me, happiness is the celebration of life. Accepting every moment as it comes and experiencing the vicissitudes of life and offering gratitude for everything, small or big, and most importantly for life itself.” He then laughed and said, “Just yesterday we had a celebration in gratitude to surviving a car crash in which we lost our new luxury sedan.” I was shocked and said, “You celebrated the loss of your luxury sedan. It costs an arm and a leg.” He replied, “I can live without a car but imagine if a family member would have died or lost a limb that would be a real loss. 

For me, the loss is something that has no chance of recovery. Losing profits, valuables or even health (non-terminal condition) is not a loss, unless you give up on it. You can gain it back.”  

I was gaining an immense understanding of the concept of happiness and wanted to know more. I asked, “Everything that humanity achieved was in pursuit of happiness. If we become content and give up on our dreams, we would not progress.?” Their daughter who was quiet all along interjected with wide lit eyes as if I said something that resonated with her, “I used to think exactly this way, till my dad explained that progress is simply an evolution that gives humanity new experiences in life. Few generations back the experience of life was different, today it is completely different. Earlier travel was a chore, now the world seems like a microcosm. Life is experiencing itself through human progress. Our responsibility is to continue on the path of progress while being happy. Again, Happiness is the strategy, and progress and growth are the goals.”

This was a good explanation and I could see that ambition, achievements, success, and happiness are not mutually exclusive nor are they dependent on each other. Neither meditation and living an austere life guarantees happiness, nor the accumulation of wealth with a pompous lifestyle. It’s the understanding of self and mastering your mind that gives sustainable pleasantness, energy, and happiness. In my mind I was reflecting that we are after stimulation instead of genuine happiness. Buying things give us stimulation, so does a gourmet meal or a stellar performance at work. What we need is contentment in the moment, calming happiness without the need for stimulation.

I was happy that I had the opportunity to meet up with this great family. I thanked them and was about to leave when the lady said, “It was a pleasure meeting you and I hope you can stop your search for happiness and just practice being happy. Don’t think of happiness as a destination you will achieve by the elimination of suffering or else you will never be happy. Rather, happiness is a state where you are content, calm, and pleasant irrespective of the situation. The energy that emanates from this state of being is not dependent on stimulations and can be the impetus for achieving all your goals and more importantly for living a pleasant life.”

Later, I thought about the conversations and prepared a checklist of learnings:

1. Happiness is joyfulness or living with exuberance. Those who are happy know, what is happiness and rejoice the moments of joy. 

2. We should celebrate life. In appreciation of it, we should offer gratitude, take care of our bodies and mind, and be a source of joy. 

3. Seeking stimulations for fulfillment is a sign of missing something. Nature is perfect. We just need the vision of gratitude to see it.  

4. Happiness is not the elimination of suffering it is accepting both suffering and joy and remaining content and calm. 

5. Outer life is simply the mirror of your mind. To create a great living experience, we should keep the mirror of mind clean. 

6. Finally, Happiness is a choice that we can and should make. 

It was already evening, and the group was so engrossed in the conversation that they didn’t feel the time. The girl concluded that after my encounter with the family I started practicing my choice to be happy despite the situation. As these are early days, it gets difficult to keep pleasant when things don’t go as per my plans. However, I have developed a set of rituals that help me keep more or less on my path. She then shared her rituals:

1. Exercise and eat nutritious food as “A healthy mind reside in a healthy body.” (Latin phrase)

2. Offer gratitude for all that I have as soon as I wake up and continue doing it throughout the day. It quells greed and complexes. 

3. I refuse to be too tough on myself. I accept myself to be imperfect and prone to mistakes and I expect the same in others. 

4. I practice breathing to calm myself and enrich my body with healthy oxygen. 

5. I spend quality time with my loved ones and appreciate the moments we spend together as life is short and unpredictable. 

While leaving for home the girl asked her friends, “Will you practice happiness, now that I have shared the secret?” The friends in unison and energetically said, “Yes.” 

CONCLUSION

I want to ask you as my friends, acquaintances, and colleagues the same question, “Will you choose to practice happiness from today if you have not chosen the strategy already?” I would like to hear your thoughts.  

A practical way to reach the happy state of being in our mind is to manage our Bus (people with whom we interact in our life) well. We should load it with people (spend more time with) who give us joy, inspiration, comfort, and care while unloading or reducing the time on the Bus of individuals who cause us discomfort and pain.  

Happiness is all about developing the courage to accelerate the attrition of our fears that would lead to the elimination of the ego, greed, and other feelings, causing grief and suffering. I end with a quote, “People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.”–Abraham Lincoln.

Waqi Munim

The purpose of this new series of Modern Fables by Waqi is to inspire individuals and businesses to envision a better future and to collectively work to bring it to fruition. People are becoming more aware, inclusive, socially responsible, and focused on sustainability. In these changing times what we need is a higher purpose at the core of our business products and service offerings with empathy and care for the people, to win the hearts and minds of the world consumers, and to create a sustainable interdependent eco-system.