The secret to a great relationship...
Snakes represent growth... each year they shed their old skins

The secret to a great relationship...

The secret to a great relationship…

"Business is a relationship...with your co-founders, your investors, your clients and most importantly your team"         

This post has two purposes...

  1. One the one hand it is about personal relationships for couples. If you find it useful in your private lives, great.
  2. On the other hand it is a post to inspire more of the entrepreneurs and professionals out there to not forget that you are in a relationship with your business partners, investors, clients and staff. And like any great relationship it takes effort. In this context I hope you will find inspiration in the following tips to take your business relationship to the next level.

My wife Tamar Goren and I are now 7 years together (married for 5). We actually got married for the 6th time two days ago in the same church that my parents got married in 50 years ago). There are countless ways as to why I love being with her but perhaps the biggest surprise to me — as someone who didn't have much experience with relationships — was how amazing a relationship can be when you constantly invest in it and don’t take it for granted.

Looking back over the last 7 years am blown away by how much we have changed and grown as individuals as a couple and when I analyse why I come up with the following:

  1. We communicate constantly, sharing good, bad, insecurities, ideas, thoughts, fantasies and dreams. But we also learned how to speak to each other. Each of us has a unique way of processing information. How much time have you invested in learning how your partner understands words? Each personality has a unique way of accepting new information. Don't just talk to each other: learn what works best with your partner .
  2. We constantly incorporate activities that help us grow as a couple, from workshops to seminars to listening together to perspective-changing audiobooks. When was the last time you and your business partner listened to a TED talk together? Or attended a seminar outside of your direct work roles?
  3. We constantly push each other to grow and be better human beings while always being there to support each other on the occasional stumble. Are you just measuring each other's current performance or are you a true partner that wants your other to really grow (including the risk that they outgrow you)?
  4. We tackle fundamental relationship matters vs just surfing the waves of pleasure. Eg we have changed and will constantly change so how can we reshape our marriage cradle to accommodate our changing natures. Invest in someone who can facilitate an open dialogue if you are struggling with this. But don't push things away (read Harvard's "Difficult Conversations if you need inspiration).
  5. We challenge our relationship by looking at a platitude of relationship models, even those that make us unforcortable to consider now. You may have started the business with specific roles but surely it is time to re-look at your roles in your relationship? Don't be afraid.
  6. We say yes to more experiences and thus less driven by materialistic motivations (eg spending 3 months living in a tent while exploring a country instead of 5 star hotels). If you are in business it is easy to get sucked into the daily grind of making ends meet, but maybe consider looking at the bigger picture? Maybe getting rid of those fancy spaces and things might lower your overheads and reduce the pressure to break-even and introduce space for a little more fresh air?

That's all for you professionals and entrepreneurs out there.

For you in personal relationship let me add a few other resources that we found helpful in our personal journey...

Watch Dr Esther Perel TED talks on relationships (watch it together with your partner)… Her two TED talks are:

  1. The secret to desire in long termrelationships https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relationship?language=tlh
  2. And rethinking infidelity https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved/up-next?language=en

Listen to the audio book The Ethical Slut (a terrible title for an amazing book that will make you uncomfortable but help you grow) ?https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Ethical-Slut-Audiobook/B00B1VIPX6

Free micro-courses on relationship, sexuality and communication? https://www.mypleasurejourney.org/pages/all-micro-courses

The daily whatsapp messages from the legend that is Jonti Searll (his daily WhatsApp messages are a must have in your relationship building journey and a true eye-opener). You just ask him on WhatsApp +27 83 743 5129

Hope the above helps.

Hugs to everyone!

Your crazy York & Tamar team, who are sitting on the dock of the bay ….

Paula Quinsee

Building engaged organisations by facilitating human connection, resulting in more connected and productive employees. Advocate for Mental Health & activist against gender-based violence

2 年

Aaaah you two are just so incredibly adorable. Super congratulations ??

Kgosi Kgosi

SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT || EDUTECH || BLOCKCHAIN || FINTECH || THINK TANK || INNOVATOR

2 年

Water Gods ??

Darryl Comley-White

Helping You Make Successful Marketing Decisions

2 年

I like how you have positioned that. Family is very important and an essential element to human growth and stability. Not negating those that have suffered loss or have had to move away from toxic situations. #marketingdigital #marketingconsulting

Chantal Dudler

Senior Relationship Manager Institutional Clients Schwyzer Kantonalbank

2 年

Most beautiful, smart, loving, inspirational, humorous and lovable couple I ever met! ????????????????????????????

Tamar Goren

Passionate about improving efficiency, customer success and customer relations for businesses that are run by people with great hearts and minds

2 年

The phenomenal man I am lucky to share my life with York Zucchi ??

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