The Secret to Developing A High Performing Team

Work hard and you’ll succeed.

This advice is everywhere, but it’s a bit frustrating.

But why is it that there are millions of employees who work hard, but report high levels of stress, disengagement and burnout?

It hit me that something is still missing.

If working hard is the only thing you are doing, then you’re setting your team for failure.

Here’s what I mean.

Why We Succeed But Don’t Feel Successful

Author and speaker, Simon Sinek, once spoke at an event for high-performing entrepreneurs. He asked the group to raise their hands if they’ve achieved their financial goals.

80% of the room raised their hands.

Then Sinek asked the question,

“How many of you feel successful?”

That’s when 80 percent of the hands went down.

This illustrates an important truth.

What most people would define as successful doesn’t make us feel successful.

And that’s the problem.

We buy into the false messages we hear from leaders thinking that’s what will make us happy.

Work your butt off and you'll succeed.

All it takes is hard work.

Work. Work. Work.

But here’s the thing.

The Average Person is Living in a Reactive State of Survival.

Money is the modern day survival mechanism. It puts food on the table and a roof over our heads.

A survey was once done on a group of low income individuals. The question posed was what plans did they have to get out of their financial struggles. And the answer was surprising.

It was to win the lottery.

This isn’t a valid strategy due to the fact that it’s about a 1 in 3 million chance of winning.

The reason they say things like this is because their brains cannot think.

The stress of being in a low income situation actually triggers the brain into a reactive state.

This state of survival is one where you are reacting without thinking.

It’s in the same mode as if you were in a life-threatening scenario. When under threat, the brain needs to be reactive without thinking. This is because taking time to think can mean the difference between life or death.?

And we do this for a majority of our adult lives even though we’re not in actual physical danger.

Why Money Doesn’t Always Make You Feel Successful

I had a client who achieved everything he wanted. He had the multimillion dollar profitable business, the home, and the beautiful family.

He was over 60 years in age and still couldn’t figure out why he was struggling with high levels of anxiety and stress.

When I shared how when our brains react in survival to our stress, one way it does so is by fighting.

This looks like overworking and overachieving to the point of burnout.

He realized he spent his whole life in this fight mode to prove to others that he was better than his older brother.

His older brother was an NFL player. And my client shared with me a story how when he was in high school, his football coach told him he’ll never be as good as him.

So he fought hard through life.

He fought to achieve more, make more money, and have better status. All hoping it would help him feel better about himself.?

He didn’t like himself no matter how much more he accomplished.

When we don’t feel successful, money will only reveal the pain inside that was always there.

The Proven Secret to Feeling Successful

Viktor Frankl was a psychologist who ended up in the concentration camps.

The Nazis killed his mother, father, brother and pregnant wife there.

While he was in the camps, Frankl was doing something that was astonishing.

He was bringing hope to the Jews he was with.

Suicidal Jews no longer wanted to kill themselves and found the will to live.

When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.

-Viktor Frankl

What often happens is once we get enough money to survive, we use what extra money we have for pleasure.

And at some point, we realize that the money doesn’t bring us a sense of meaning.?

What helps one feel successful is the experience that you are living a meaningful life.

Imagine you go into a dark forest and you hear a scary noise. Your brain will immediately focus on your outer environment.?

This is to try and identify the threat and react to it in a fight, flight or freeze response.

But here’s the big problem.

We do the exact same thing when we are feeling emotionally uncomfortable.

Research has indicated that emotional pain can be as painful as physical pain.?

This is why our brains react to these uncomfortable emotions without thinking. As if it were a life threatening situation.

And this causes us to hyper focus on our outer environment?—?When we’re stressed, anxious and frustrated.

When looking on the outside, we fight for pleasure. But when we get better at going into our inner environment, that’s where we find meaning.

We often think that changing our careers, relationships, or status will give us a sense of meaning. Only to find out it doesn’t unless we are taking action from a place of self-expression. Not self-absorption.

Unfortunately, some people spend their whole lives changing their outer environment. Hoping it’ll change the feelings on the inside.

How to Find Meaning And?Thrive

Isn’t it interesting that at a young age, one of the first questions a child loves to ask is the question, “Why?”

It gets asked to the point it can get annoying.

“Why is the sky blue?”

“Why do dogs bark?”

“Why do you pick your nose at home but not in public?”

But here’s the thing. Asking the question “Why” has nothing to do with your survival.

Animals in the wild don’t ponder the philosphical question asking about why.

They’re focused on how and what?—?How to survive and what they need to do so they don’t die.

Yet we innately ask about why at such an early age.

I’ve come to believe this is because we are innately craving meaning.

As humans, we start with why. Then when we’re adults, we end up consumed about how to survive and what to do.

And eventually, we come back to exploring why at a later time in our life.

And no amount of changing things on the outside help us connect to what brings us meaning.

It only comes from within.

And the moment we become connected with what brings us meaning, we create much more than we consume.

And you begin producing some of the most amazing things beyond your imagination.

Having a deep sense of purpose is what helps you achieve the impossible

We express things from the inside out. Rather than hoping that outside changes bring internal fulfillment

It what gives us the ability to stand strong with out mission no matter what adversity comes our way.

It builds inner strength and we finally experience the fulfillment we seek.

So how do we get clarity on the things that bring us meaning?

Spend more time in your inner environment.

Even if it’s for five minutes a day.

Develop the skill to be present.?

One staple way is through mindfulness.

The key here is to keep bringing your attention to the present moment.?

Like a muscle you can flex, bringing your attention to the present is a muscle you can keep flexing.?

And when you get better at this, you find clarity. You can look at your stress and realize that it’s been giving you the clues all along. Then only reason you ever get frustrated, angry, or vulnerable is because something is crossing your boundaries. Something important to you is being compromised.?

The Little Known Secret to Personal?Growth

Have you ever looked at a younger version of yourself and that “that person didn’t know what they didn’t know”??

Then what if you’re not knowing the important things you need to know right now?

The reason this occurs is when your brain is stressed, it will focus on what it knows.

This is because it’s hardwired in us to avoid uncertainty if we can. During the caveman days, if we went into uncertain territory we’d get eaten by wild animals at times.

The more we practice being present, the better we get at getting out of that reactive survival state. We don’t react to the past nor do we fight to control the future.?

In this calm space, you access you brain’s higher functions. Even though you’re sitting with the infinite uncertainties of life.

Then we develop the mental muscle to take attention away from our outer environment. And instead bring it into our inner environment.

In this moment, your brain’s creativity, critical thinking skills, and empathy are back on.

This is where you find clarity around what brings you meaning.

We find meaning from something greater than ourselves. And the skill to be able to get out of the survival state gives us the ability to take the focus away from our own fear. We then can connect with something greater than ourselves.

This is where teams thrive. When they are fully invested in a greater mission together. That’s the juice that gives people the energy to outperform.?

So when leading a team, are you also focused on building a deeper connection to a greater mission you all are invested in? Or are you only focused on the numbers?

The Scientific Secret To Activating Your Unique?Talents

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