The Secret to Better Relationships

We had some friends over the other night for dinner. After they left, I looked at my wife and said, “That was really fun, I enjoy hanging out with the Smiths (not their real name).” Then I realized why I enjoyed the evening. The Smiths understood the secret to effective and meaningful relationships: asking good questions. ?

As we visited, they would ask us about our children or our travel experiences, then they would follow up with authentic questions that kept the conversation going. We, in turn, would ask questions about their family and experiences. No one allowed the conversation to focus on themselves for extended lengths of time. Each of us would, at some point, turn the conversation to be about the other person. This created a rhythm of conversation that was interesting and enjoyable.

The skill of asking genuine questions is essential for the success of any relationship. No one wants to hear us talk about ourselves without pausing to inquire about their interests or experiences. Nothing is worse than being caught in a conversation with someone who is self-centered and self-focused talking only about themselves. ?Unfortunately, our obsession with social media feeds this narcissistic, ‘it’s all about me’ attitude.

The good news is that we can learn to engage in and experience better relationships in our lives. When we choose to start asking authentic questions about others, we will make a difference.

Larry