The secret to beating stage fright

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to stand up on stage in front of more than 5,000 people to deliver a one-hour talk. I relished every second of it and loved the feeling of reaching out and connecting with the audience. I felt in my element and got such a kick from the response I got. It was something that, years ago, I could never have imagined I would be capable of doing, never mind finding it fun to do.

In general, when I am on stage, I feel really comfortable. To me, it is as relaxed as I get often since I spend so much time teaching and training audiences. Whenever I work with participants on public speaking I need to remind myself of how I used to feel the very first time I did a speech. Terrified is an understatement. It was traumatic for me.

When I ask myself, what is the single most important thing that I have done that has changed how I feel about speaking in public it comes down to one core principle… FOCUS.

The very first time I stood on stage that I can remember to deliver a speech was in school when I was 13 or so. My hands shook terribly and my sweaty palms clenched the index cards that I was reading with a huge stammer. My heart beat out of my chest in front of 30 of my class mates. My face burned red and it was the most torturous couple of minutes I remember to that point. 

When I ask myself why I was so nervous and scared, one particular factor comes to mind. I was terrified about making a fool of myself (which the fear actually helped me do in the end… the irony). My focus was what everyone was thinking of me. This is, to me, the single biggest reason why people get scared of speaking in front of others. They constantly think about how everyone else is thinking about them. They judge themselves as the audience and the whole presentation becomes some twisted internal form of the X factor where their worth is judged by a negative audience.

Practicing speaking in public is a big part of feeling more comfortable of course. There are some great tricks and strategies out there that can help people feel better about the whole process. But, for me, taking charge of my focus was what turned things around for me. 

If I was to ask you ‘Why are you doing the presentation or speech?’, the answer is rarely ‘So the audience can judge my worth.’ Instead, the majority of all presentations are done because you need to transmit information to a group of people. You need to let them know something they do not know. Occasionally, you are trying to get them to feel something they do not feel or believe something they do not believe so that they will do something they are not currently doing. But these are all about THEM. They are all about the audience in front of you. Not you or your worth. Not your public speaking prowess, your charisma or charm. It is about them. 

Keeping your focus on the audience means asking the questions:

 ·       What am I there to do for them?

·        What can they learn from me?

·        How do I help them the best way possible?

·        What value can I be to this audience?

·        What can I give them that they do not have?

These are not just benevolent questions. They are questions that get you thinking about something far more useful to your frame of mind about speaking in public.

When I stood up in front of all those people, I was excited because of one main reason. I was getting the chance to share my thoughts and ideas with so many people. I had an opportunity to make a big difference to a lot of people all at once. By realising that, I felt comfortable in the knowledge that my presentation was not about me. They never are. They are all about the people who sit there listening. You cannot help what they think about you. All you can do is help give them whatever you have and sometimes that can change their lives.

Thank you for taking the time out of your schedule to read this. I really hope you find this content valuable and applicable to your own business challenges. I’d love to make sure you can follow my regular articles. If you could click 'Follow' then you’ll get regular notifications on future articles and please feel free to connect via Twitter, Facebook and Owen Fitzpatrick International. Also if you have a specific business challenge that you’d like some help on, please let me know in the comments and I can create a future post on that topic.

 Owen Fitzpatrick is a social psychologist, international best-selling author and speaker. He is regarded as a leading expert on influence, motivation and storytelling for business.