Second Wind

I try to make 'new best friends' all the time. Recently I met an executive coach who I'll just call Pete. Our paths crossed due to some personal business but the conversation quickly turned to what exciting things are waking us up in the morning and I told him about my "Upside Down" musical project.

Since my venture relies almost entirely on inspiring people to want to share something that's free via social networks, Pete launched into coach mode and rattled off 5 media things that I really needed to do immediately. These were all crucial issues; all important action items.

"Thanks Pete!" I responded.

Here I was, getting valuable info for free from a guy who makes his living charging for this kind of help. I was fortunate. I was thankful.

I was talkative.

"I really appreciate it, I think I understand, and I agree with everything you said," then, I took a breath and added, "But you know what? I'm not going to do any of that."

Pete was silent. For a second I was afraid I just lost my new best friend.

"Here's the thing, Pete. I used up all of my volunteer help last year building this project. We're a non-profit and we're out-gunned, out-manned, under staffed... virtually no income... a donor gave me just enough to make it through one year. The one partner I have is over worked and un-paid as it is. I really appreciate all your advice, and I need it! But I'm incapable of executing it all by myself. I can't even let myself try."

A normal coach might have just turned and walked away, but we spent more time conversing than I think either of us expected. I told him about how I had recently moved my elderly parents within 10 minutes of my house, and I shared with him how their move alone seemed to add so much more to my plate. Then I got really vulnerable.

"Pete, I'm exhausted. I don't mind telling you. I've never been this tired in my life, and I've never been busier, either. I don't need more ideas, I need help! I really want to quit!"

So, of course, Pete laughed and told me about Jack Nicholson.

"Jack Nicholson did an interview some years ago about how when he turned 60 he hit a wall and lost all ambition and motivation; but at 70 he got his second wind. And if you look at Jack's career", Pete continued,"... he did all these great films, all this great work, after he was 70 years old!"

I got off the phone so encouraged. I was truly stoked! I'll be 62 in a couple of months, which means I only have 8 more years before I get my second wind! So if I can just hold my breath and hang on through this rough patch, be a good son, husband, father, minister, friend... keep working... why, this just might be my 'as good as it gets' time...

The three weeks after that pep talk with Pete went by at a youthful, lighthearted pace. I enjoyed a newfound peace of mind when thinking about aging and the prospect of getting a Nicholsonesque 'second wind' put steam back in my stride. I was able to think clearer, work harder, move faster and jump just a little bit higher, thanks to Pete.

POINT ONE: coaches are cool!

But then...

...but then I began searching for that source story on Jack Nicholson. I couldn't get a hold of Pete and I needed another hit of the 'feel good' juice he'd infected me with when he preached the 'second wind' gospel to me. I searched and searched and I found numerous interviews but none matched Pete's story. Instead, I found out that our dear Jack is now 80 years old. And the honest truth is that he's made exactly one movie... only one!... since he turned 70. Most of his interviews are slightly melancholy and he's blatantly open about wishing he had a lasting relationship with whom to share his final days. He's still a cool old bird and quite verbose, but never once mentions a second wind. He often seems, understandably, like he might be gasping for air. Where Pete got his story I don't know, but the facts, and the interviews, that I've since tracked down seem to indicate that the one who flew over the cuckoo's nest is now a little out of breath and winding down, not ramping up. I certainly have never reached the heights of fame and fortune that this phenomenal movie star has enjoyed, but it seems pretty clear that if I follow in Mr. Nicholson's more recent foot steps I too will find that my best days ARE behind me!

Now I'm wondering about my new best friend. Did he intentionally make up the story about Nicholson? Did he pull that one out of thin air just to breathe some life back into me? Or was he confused? Did he get the story mixed up with someone else; get Jack mistaken for another icon? Some other septuagenarian reflecting on their malaise when hitting 60 only to get a fire back in their belly ten years later?

I head back to google and discover that the leading thread for 'second wind' is about Americans... yeah who knows about 'foreigners', like 120 year old Sardinians and that ancient Indonesian Sodimejo who had I.D. proving he was 146! ...

....but google says that Americans hit their second wind at a spry 56.

56?!?!?

56 is certainly waaaaay back there in my rear view mirror by nearly six years worth of potholes and angst and mileage! I've already used up my second wind and didn't even know I ever had it! And all because of the bad luck of being born in the land of the free! What are the odds?

One thing for sure, while Pete may not have been on target with the facts he's a GREAT motivator! Like my best sports coaches in high school and college, he inspired me, even if the carrot he held out was a complete mirage. So his story was a fabrication? Big deal! It did give me three good weeks before I collapsed into a pile of worn out old man parts. Pete spoke me into a more energized mode that produced about 21 days of encouraging results even if I'm now even more disillusioned, tired, desperate...

In "The Shining" a delusional Jack finds himself in the bar talking to Lloyd the bartender. Of course, Lloyd isn't really there, or if he is then he's a ghost, responding sparsely and nudging Jack along his rambling descent into madness. Jack tells Lloyd that he's "the best bartender from Timbuktu to Portland, Maine... Portland, Oregon for that matter!" to which Lloyd responds with a simple, "Thank you for saying so."

I'd say the same about Pete; best coach from Timbuktu to... well, you know. Pete might say, "thanks for saying so." Or Pete might say, "I'm glad you gave me a pseudonym cause, heck, c'mon Steve, I do this for a living!"

But I say, POINT TWO is: when you get a really good, inspirational story that excites you and gets you going, stay away from googling for the truth. If Don Quixote had googled 'impossible dreams' he'd have probably just curled up in a ball and died, far away from the stinking windmills.

Watch "Upside Down" for FREE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQW3bNuU-y4&list=PLCwn-iWAT83KqAJiM0EvRYEW8IZ_xskR4