A SECOND JOURNEY....

Yeah I think it was in 1980 ending a 20 year old young charismatic fellow got married to a beautiful woman but his family came to know that, that women can't give birth to children so with mutual understanding they were divorced. After a year or two he got SECOND marriage and gave birth to a child. Even before facing the world the child has SECOND thing in his life even before from start. In my sense SECOND is not a degrading factor because it gives less stress and we can be free but if you get first you have to make it consistent but what if a person whole life is only on Second. Yes it's mine.... I am a that SECOND guy....

It was my 10 standard days where the books were being my official girlfriends and teachers are like my parents. Yeah A few friends too but it was much more like competitive friendship not like Without-you-i-am-not-there type of friendship. From initially I had a habit writing diary and I also believe whatever we speak about what we wished for it won't happen. At that time I had only wish getting 10/10 CGPA. If it was up to me it's OK! But the whole school had hopes on me and that's really a pleasure and pressure too. You can't touch a rose without thrones so hopes are just like roses. Finally Exams done and results day. I got a call not a congratulate call but more like sympathetic call then I realised. I asked who is SECOND and I got an answer. Yes! It's me. Yaswanth 9.7/10 CGPA.

I am not a special one but environment and situations make me special and I am great full for that. Like every student in my aura I could have taken engineering or doctor course but I don't want it. Yeah I built different and I had many criticism for my behaviour too. It was 11&12 days where most of my 12 went on COVID so let me tell share about my 11. Arts group, only 27 students were there in 5,600 group of students and I simply thought here even an average guy can get First Rank But some stories were different. "How much you expect, that much you get hurt". I still remember the day of results I scolded myself for not getting tears in my eyes. I know I am hurt but I couldn't cry and still till today I don't know why? Yeah you guessed right again I am SECOND in my 11 with 477/500. The funniest thing is even after COVID I thought I could have a chance getting first but you know life and cricket is a funny game you may score 263 but after 10 years maybe another team can break it but my record in getting SECOND can't be broken. Yes! After COVID too my result was same with 961/1000 standing Second still. Up to 10 I had a thought I need luck but after 12 I fixed this is my fate and I can't change. But God always give Second chance to everyone....

My college the only college spend a lot of money just to decide who is Best (BOG) in a loot and the primary reason I joined this college was a promise made my me to my sister. What she can't achieved I wish I could achieve it and give it to her but as I said before don't expect. 3 years I have attended every competition I had in my WhatsApp group, every game I can play, every chance I got I want to make it useful. In this process Two things happened One is I learned a lot which a black board can't teach and second I never won a single competition and standing SECOND in everything. I always had a fear what will happen if I get second in BOG too. But a dear friend told me if you get a fear of anything stand in a Superman pose for 5 min you will feel good and yeah it worked pretty well. Try it if you wanna....

Third year, 22 people, 20 days or more than that I still remember the nights I spent sleepless with my lap and phone to make PPTs, Videos, Designs. Oh God I loved every goddamn night because I believe that I am closing a step to victory every time I worked. Finally it was all done. "Could have done even more better", "I wish I could do after sometime" Just don't ever get these words in mind but after all done every night I thought these lines in my dreams but I never told out. A dear friend of mine had a favourite book and a quote in it "If you truly desire for something, the whole universe conspires it for you". Every single day I woke up I think about this line. It makes me feels good but also remember if you desire is not strong enough you determination, dedication and hard work is just like nothing but trash so Desire Strong always.

28-03-2024 the day I won't forget even if you give me 100 Croce to forget it. The day I wished I can stand on my promise, the day I wished this SECOND thing will leave me but Some stories already written somewhere and I think my story had written even before I was born. Yes I am not first Maybe yeah I am Best but I am not first. Once people have hopes on you, you need to answer and face their sympathetic looks but I hate it. I completely hate it. The only thing they say is "Every one is a winner so don't worry". If I say it would be wrong but I completely disagree to that statement. In a war only one can be the winner. If everyone is a winner why Great Alexander died? Why Mahabharata had Pandavas a winner? Just I hate when people say that. There Is only one winner one gold that's it!! Keeping these things aside coming into story again I wish any Tamil industry director make a movie in my life because even If I want to leave this SECOND tag it doesn't leave me. I came to known that I am second again I don't know Is that really truth or not but I know to myself that I am. I always say that, "Things never happen Twice" but in my life "It happened thrice".

I just want to say people out there who are thriving for first, who patiently read up to now "Don't worry mate!! sometimes the whole college knows that you are a winner and an empty cup doesn't define that you are not" I know I am a? winner and every single person in my college and even my competitors felt that. That's more than enough for me, but I wish this SECOND thing would leave me one day and I can be FIRST one day.