The Seasonal Reality of Life.

Reality called me last week and the conversation was confronting. This is what happened:

Sparing the details, a health scare out of the blue is what sparked it all.?

From Tuesday through Monday, as I waited on scans, bloods and consults, I surfed the wide spectrum of emotions that I can only imagine people face when Mortality introduces itself sooner than when it was meant to.

Throughout the week to follow I felt things like fear, gratitude, regret, hope, sadness and longing, in cycles, over and over. If I’m being really honest, I felt shame in parts as well.

In my twenties, I wouldn’t have bat an eye over the events of last week.?

In my twenties it was just me – I could make mistakes, lose money, start over, be wrong, go again. I could have died (not that I would have wanted to) and nobody would have been ‘let down’.

Contrast to now, and in a few days I’ll be 35. I have kids, staff, clients and shareholders. If my time was over, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I would have let them down.

For the first time in my adult life, I didn’t feel in control, nor on track, and I felt vulnerable and consciously aware that we, not just I, are at the mercy of other forces.?

So what Reality told me, was that if now had of been my time; as a person, as a dad, as a husband and as an entrepreneur, I would have missed the mark for what I could have achieved in the time I’ve had so far.?

It was brutal honesty, yes it hurt and yes it was right. We all have our own standards and timelines, but by my own, fair or not to others, I just felt that I could have done better and I should have. What I needed was a new framework to understand and lead the life I had left with by.

One of the many positives from this experience, most of which will remain private, is that it’s helped me to assess life and structure it in a way that is going to help my perspective and ability to keep moving forward whilst operating at my best. My hope is that perhaps it’ll help you too.

My perspective from last week is this:

I think that life has four seasons. They run from Spring, where we develop and learn to zero in on the true north that’s unique to all of our personal compasses. That north is made up of our likes, dislikes, values, principles, hopes, dreams and ambitions.?

Then Summer comes along and it’s where our focus can narrow and we accelerate down our chosen paths with confidence and naivety, often bouncing around as we chase the heels of our aspirations. During Summer the key is directional accuracy and momentum more so than destination obsession and need for certainty of reward.

Time goes on and then we inevitably feel the shift into Autumn where preparation and planning for our unique leadership roles in life start to really matter and I believe that those leadership roles take on many forms: being a parent, being an employer, being accountable to yourself – these are all modes of duty that require leadership skills.?

My new found beliefs are that you connect the dots to help you figure this one out through your Spring and Summer.

And finally Winter sets in which in large part will reflect how you tackled the seasons that came prior. Legacy means a lot in this season, time takes on whole new meaning as the clock runs louder and what matters most to you at this stage in life gets heavily, heavily filtered.

For me, I am hitting the last wonderful sundowns of my Summer. But for a few days there I thought maybe I wouldn’t reach my Autumn and perhaps I could have, should have, would have done more with my Summer if I had had this awareness.

So what’s the point I’m trying to make??

We all have these seasons and we’re all living out different stages of them. Life will do its thing, surprise you in ways you want and in ways you don’t want.?

If you have an appreciation for the season you’re in, how deep into it you are, and what your expectations for what that period in your life should be, it’ll help you mitigate any sense of ‘not having done enough’ up till that point, whatever your ‘enough’ is.?

For me, I will respect and enjoy the last of my Summer. Autumn is around the corner and I understand what that has to look like for me now. At the start of last week I didn’t.?

Last thing I’ll say is that the photo attached is of me looking into the Grand Canyon when I was about 20 – at the end of my Spring and the beginning of my Summer. The other side of the rocks I’m on was an indescribable picture. Literally beyond my words. But at the time I remember looking into it and having this sense that the next chapter would be wild. Wasn’t sure how, didn’t know why, but I had what I needed to go explore it. I didn’t know that period as ‘Summer’, but I now know it was and what Autumn will be to me.