Season for Appraisals: Festival of Buttering Your Boss

Season for Appraisals: Festival of Buttering Your Boss

Appraisal Season is a holy season as strategic as it is nerve-wracking in the great calendar of corporate life. Employees suddenly become model workers at this time of year; deadlines are fulfilled with military accuracy, and every casual discussion with the manager reveals a plethora of compliments. Deeply ingrained in Indian business culture, this annual custom sees the art of buttering one's employer at its best.

The Countdown Begins: The Pre-Appraisal Warm-Up

A few months before the official assessment conversations, the workplace starts to change subtly. Workers who had avoided looking their superiors in the eye suddenly start greeting them in the corridor with great energy. Work that would have taken weeks is shockingly finished in days. Even the most disobedient workers have a disciplined and hardworking attitude.

The Quick Change in Work Ethic Behavior.

• People arrive at the office on time, sometimes early.
• Lunch breaks run from a leisurely hour to a hurried 15-minute power meal.
• Projects are finished before deadlines, and staff members volunteer to cover extra duties.

The Misuse of Business Jargon

• In informal talks, staff members start throwing around terms like "synergy," "optimization," and "value addition," trying to wow upper-level management.
• Emails with straightforward one-line answers today look more like well-researched whitepapers loaded with strategic insights.

The Grand Buttering Festival: Strategies Employees Use

As the appraisal date inches closer, the buttering (or ‘chamchagiri’ in Indian slang) intensifies. Employees deploy different strategies to subtly (or sometimes blatantly) win their manager’s favor.

The Compliment Overload

“Sir, your presentation was so insightful; I learned more in 10 minutes than in my entire MBA course!”

“Ma’am, you have such a strong leadership aura. I aspire to be like you someday!”

Compliments about fashion choices, fitness routines, and even the manager’s pet become common discussion topics.

The Selective Memory Tactic

• Employees recall all the great things their boss has done while conveniently forgetting the times they were scolded for missing deadlines.
• “Sir, remember how you guided us through that critical project last year? You are truly the backbone of this team!”

The Sacrificial Workaholic Act

• Working late suddenly becomes a habit, but only when the boss is still in the office.
• Employees make sure to send emails late at night so that their timestamps reflect dedication.
• Coming to work even when slightly sick, just to show commitment (though ironically, this spreads more sickness than goodwill).

The Strategic Social Media Engagement

• Employees start liking, sharing, and commenting on their boss’s LinkedIn posts with words like “Great insights, sir!” and “Completely agree, ma’am!”
• Some even go the extra mile by writing blog posts about their boss’s leadership qualities.

Appraisal Meeting Day: The Final Performance

The day of the appraisal discussion is the final act of this corporate drama. Employees prepare well-rehearsed speeches that highlight their achievements while subtly downplaying any setbacks.

The ‘I Did Everything’ Presentation

• Employees make sure to list every single thing they worked on in the past year.
• Even answering phone calls and setting up meetings is presented as a crucial task that added immense value to the company.

The ‘Team Player’ Narrative

• “I believe in teamwork and always help my colleagues.”
• “I took the initiative to mentor juniors, even when I was extremely busy.”
• The word ‘collaboration’ is used at least ten times in the discussion.

The Emotional Blackmail Card

• “I have been so dedicated to this company that I haven’t even taken a proper vacation in two years.”
• "I have dedicated myself fully to my work, and I am confident that my contributions have had a significant impact on the company."

The Carefully Crafted Humble Brag

• “I never seek credit, but it felt great when the client appreciated my work.”
• “I don’t work for rewards, but a little recognition would mean a lot.”

The Verdict: When Buttering Works and When It Doesn’t

Despite all the effort, the appraisal outcome depends on several factors:

If the Boss Enjoys Flattery

• Employees who master the art of strategic compliments often secure good appraisals.
• Those who fail to recognize the manager’s achievements risk receiving a “meets expectations” rating instead of “exceeds expectations.”

Company Budget Constraints

• Sometimes, no matter how much butter is applied, budget limitations mean that increments are minimal.
• In such cases, managers resort to classic corporate jargon: “We truly appreciate your efforts, and while this year’s hike isn’t as high as expected, we value you immensely.”

Performance vs. Perception

• While flattery can help, consistent hard work and real contributions remain the biggest factors for a good appraisal.
• Employees who genuinely perform well and maintain good relationships with managers tend to fare the best.

The Post-Appraisal Hangover

Once the appraisal letters are distributed, reactions in the office are mixed.

The Victorious Celebrators

• Employees who received good appraisals subtly show off their happiness.
• They casually drop hints about their salary hike in conversations.

The Disappointed but Pretending Employees

• Those who didn’t get the expected raise act indifferent but secretly update their resumes.
• Phrases like “It’s not about the money; it’s about job satisfaction” are commonly heard.

The Office Gossip Brigade

• Employees compare their appraisals and try to figure out who got the best hike.
• Conspiracy theories about favoritism and “boss’s inner circle” discussions dominate lunch breaks.

Conclusion: The Eternal Cycle Continues

Appraisal season in India is more than just a performance review; it’s a cultural phenomenon filled with drama, strategy, and social maneuvering. The art of buttering one’s boss may not always guarantee success, but it certainly adds an entertaining layer to corporate life.

As the cycle continues year after year, employees will keep perfecting their tactics, managers will keep enjoying the extra attention, and companies will keep reminding everyone that “performance matters the most.”

And so, the festival of buttering will return, bigger and better, next appraisal season!