SEASON 9, Chapter 4, "The Classified Adventures of Owl: in which Owl Has A (Remote) Reccy Round the Palace of The Empress and Hoo Does He Find?

Cast of Characters: https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/cast-characters-classified-adventures-owl-williamson-llb-mcts-/

For previous seasons and chapters go to: Sky Canopy Consulting Owl of O.W,L. page: https://skycanopy.wordpress.com/owl-of-o-w-l/

Story so far......Owl, our superhero and blatantly self-promoting covert operative and legend, is currently on the outer of O.W.L. (Owl Woo-Woo unLimited) due to his excessive success in bringing down the enemies of the World Wide Wood (www.). He has taken unowltherised leave (AW-OWL) from Brown Owl, Head of Troop of O.W.L. in the NZ Bush and gone on a noc mission with his Raiders of the Lost O.W.L., Brown Owl being preoccupied with a state visit from The Empress of the Middle Wood. He has gone looking for prejudicial information on her doings.

Owl obtained directions to the Palace of The Empress on the Silk Road from one of her vain dragon assets who was easy to fool. But he met up with Song Cixi (pron. Shong Shee Shee), the beauteous Guardian of the Garden of Delights of The Empress, who took him on a trip to the Garden which turned out to be a bird cage. Owl used his lateral supersonial and supernovial abilities to escape. Then The Owlettes, discards of O.W.L. , Owl's baby-sitters, birdwatchers, nursemaids, and former Shooby- dooby wa wa ladies, opened their huge joint wingspan and enveloped the seductress Song Cixi.

NZ Taniwha Postage Stamp

The Taniwha, a very real mythical creature brought along on the mission for its mystical powers, gift-wrapped her in a box with a bow and mailed her by Twitter Pacific Post (TPP) back to The Empress.

Hu Die, 1930's,Shanghainese actress

The Empress still squawking loudly to Brown Owl on her diplo-perch in the NZ Bush!

Brown Owl on her perch at the O.W.L. Circus

Owl (with asperity): They make a fine pair taking tea together!

wearinghistoryblog.com

Pretty Little Antique China

Owl: Now, on with the mission, Raiders! We have to dig around for something or someone we can use as leverage on The Empress without being caught. I'm going to kill two birds with one stone - sabotage The Empress and put that Brown Owl back in her place!

Sniffles and snivels:

I used to be appreciated by O.W.L. Now I'm just a retired hack hoo has to do his own thing. But I have IDEAS of my OWN!

Mmm, that Scarlett is a possibility for my palace reccy and shufti.

Red Owl (Tyto soumagnei)

Our sleepy sleeper agent Scarlett Pimpern-Owl has not pulled her weight yet on this mission. She's free-riding on me and didn't even help with my rescue from the bird cage (her specialty!!). She's getting lazy. She's been living in the Middle Wood for a while now and has had too many treatos in the Garden of Delights.

After my great side-trip to the Pasha and the rescue of my Dear One Belle Epoque from the clutches of that Great Horny Owl Bodyguard (NOT THE OTHER ONE WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS!), she exited Madagascar with her Karma Chameleons and came back to the NZ Bush to do some Mind-Tampering and Cognitive Cleaning and Refresher courses with ED, but has really free-loaded since.

SurreyJohn - Own work; Chameleons tongue striking at food, Animated GIF

She's certainly the right colour to blend in, but she needs to be "woke" to do her bit for O.W.L. Perfect for the job I have in mind.....it needs an owl up with the Modern Ideology of the Wood, but at the same time naturally subversive. She ticks all the boxes. She's a wild thing AND on contract only, so can be cast off without a pellet to her name at any time! Plausible Deniability and Nuts - the motto of O.W.L. I'll just have to make sure she isn't turned by the Sleepy Delights of the Empress's Garden.

Breathing Fire by girltripped on DeviantArt

The Owlettes: What about us!

We will not be replaced by that slacker Scarlett! If necessary we will go on our own sub-mission, Owl. Whaddaya say to that, you shmucking-feathered freak?

Owl: Mesdames, stop fluffing your feathers! You will of course supervise and will be responsible for EVERYTHING. I will stay back in safety and issue directives via my OTT (Owl Twitter Transmission). Have you got your devices synchronised?

The Owlettes (sniffily): Naturellement, you lazy drongo! We're off! Come on, Scarlett, wake up! Get Penguino (why we don't know!) and follow me. We need you alert to rescue us if required and help find some leverage on The Empress for Brown Owl to use to save the NZ Bush Branch of the Wood!

Scarlett Pimpern-Owl (snoring, twittering and opening one eye): (to self: What's up? Oh, it's those twins again) Well, what is it, I'm resting?

Kwong Wah Sing Maidens C1 Firecracker Pack Label

The Owlettes: Get moving, or we'll find you a permanent resting place!

Scarlett: Be careful, girlies, I may just decide to leave you behind if you need rescuing. My chameleons do my bidding and they might just feed you to the dragons. They do have some familial familiarity!

Owl (sternly): Be off with all of you at once or I will apply a sanction of my own. It might just involve a hole in the ground and a drain cover.

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Euro Style Antique bronze Bathroom Linear Shower Drain Floor Drain Wire Strainer Art Carved Brass Cover Waste Drainer|strainer valve|drainer traystrainer - AliExpress

The Raiders of the Lost O.W.L. take off for the palace leaving Owl to have 40 winks. They zoom through the draughty rooms looking for that something or someone for Brown Owl to hold over The Empress. Not a lot at first glance but as they skeeter around the floor on their tough little legs they spy a creature hoo looks like a femme formidable - one of The Empress's Ladies of the Court.

The Owlettes (quickly shape-shifting): Stop! Hoo goes there?

W00Zee: It's me, Woozy, second cousin of Sleepy Scarlett and sister by another mother of Song Cixi!

The Owlettes (to selves): We think we've found the very thing - a triple whammy! Something to leverage The Empress, Brown Owl AND Scarlett!!

Next Time: The Owlettes bring their 'cache' back to Owl and the team zooms back to the Bush to interrupt the Diplo-Squawk of Brown Owl and The Empress at O.W.L. HQ!

Erté art deco fashion illustration art print by Tina Lavoie fineartamerica.com

Pamela is a New Zealand consultant, founder of Sky Canopy Consulting, a writer, a geopolitical satirist, researcher, analyst and synthesiser, with a Masters in Conflict and Terrorism Studies from the University of Auckland.

She has been around long enough on this planet to be a former lawyer, psychotherapist and executive coach.

She loves owls, masks, ballet, black cats, hot air balloons, witches and wizards, Shakespeare, metaphors, memes, magical realism, hypnosis, reading, history, walking around lakes, living by the sea, carnivals, carousels, circuses, Fiat cars, surrealism, Mozart, opera, dragons, cheongsams, sky rockets, turkish delight, spider brooches, mosaics, museums, hot baths, beer, red wine, bedtime stories, Christmases, holidays, native birds and their habitats, riding on her broomstick and travelling in her imagination.

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