Searching Our Souls

Like so many of you, I’ve found myself doing a tremendous amount of introspection these past few weeks.

The shooting death of jogger Ahmaud Arbery really grabbed my attention, as did the incident where a white woman called the police on a black man who was bird-watching in Central Park.

Now, George Floyd’s life being snuffed out under the knee of a police officer has rightfully become a tipping point for our country, spurring widespread calls for reform on a scale not seen since the Civil Rights era.

Until recently, I think a lot of us in the white community, myself included, could be described as having a general “head knowledge” about racial bias and the disadvantages faced by our black brothers and sisters.

Even with this knowledge, a lot of us — again, myself included — feel guilty for not doing anything. We honestly didn’t think it was this bad. We thought a lot of this was behind us.

With each new day, however, we seem to be gaining more of a “heart knowledge,” the urgency and necessity of this cause striking us to the core. I know this is certainly the case for me.

Frankly, it’s about time.

If change comes from within, let’s start by focusing on the one thing we can control (ourselves) and do a deep dive. Only then can true progress take hold.

Here are some small steps I’ve been taking:

Recognizing the privileges afforded to me as a white person. I could say that my life has been hard too, but it has not been difficult because of my skin color. While I will never be able to fully comprehend the injustice and pain of racial oppression in a personal way, this essay by Peggy McIntosh has been very helpful to see things from a different perspective. 

Checking on, and gaining insight from, my black friends. During our calls, I’ve asked questions I never even contemplated. Mostly, though, I’m just trying to listen and let them know they have my support. The conversations usually go in many directions, but they are always cathartic.

Looking at my own bias. I took Harvard’s implicit association test, which measures attitudes and beliefs that people may be unwilling or unable to report. If you’re not afraid to peel back your onions, I’d highly recommend it.

I’ve been educating myself by … 

• Following new thought leaders, journalists and activists on social media, including: Rachel Cargle, Renata Sago, Jane Elliott, Ibram X. Kendi, Layla Saad, Brittany Packnett Cunningham, Tamika Mallory, Bernice King, Emmanuel Acho, Sarah Jones and Sir John.
• Reading “How to Be an Antiracist” by Ibram X. Kendi. On deck are “Me and White Supremacy” by Layla F. Saad and “The Great Unlearn” by Rachel Cargle. 
• Listening to podcasts such as “1619,” “Code Switch” and others. 
• Watching the movies “13th,” “Selma,” “The Help” and “Time: The Kalief Browder Story.” Up next: “When They See Us,” “I Am Not Your Negro” and “Just Mercy.”
• Avoiding silence. It’s not neutral ground, it’s not supportive and it is a form of violence. I must speak out.
• Donating to causes. For me, it’s been “Color of Change,” the ACLU and the National Bail Out project. 
• Supporting black-owned businesses. I’ve ordered from Symphony Chips, Mary Louise Cosmetics, Post21Shop.com and Sika Designs. I’m finding black-owned restaurants in my area so I can support them as well.

Keeping Things in Perspective. Finally, I realize I’m going to make mistakes. I’ll apologize when I do, realizing no one is perfect. But most importantly, I’ll commit to moving forward and changing.

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I know that confronting this issue can be uncomfortable for people of all backgrounds. But in my heart of hearts, I hold out hope that the overwhelming majority of us want to work toward unity and progress.

I’d love to hear what you’re doing to bring about a better tomorrow.