The Search for Perfect Imperfection

I woke up early yesterday morning and took a peek outside, and saw these magnificent orange, red, purple and blue hues across dawn's sky, beyond the silhouette of the wintery trees.

You see, I'm always looking for that "perfect"sunrise image.

And sunrises are just a bit more unpredictable than sunsets. With a sunset, you can sometimes see, or reasonably guesstimate, whats going to happen.

In the case of sunrises, however, there is far less predictability.

And, of course, we all know that "perfect" doesn't really exist, so what is it that I'm really chasing?

As I stood out in this 27 degree cornfield for about 30 minutes awaiting perfection, I began to feel a sense of disappointment.

The colors faded and the clouds morphed, and soon there was "only" an ordinary sunrise.

The U2 song played through my chilled mind, "Still haven't found what I'm looking for..."

For a long time in my life I was unaware, or at least semi-conscious, about this search for the perfect image.

In fact, during these years of semi-consciousness, I often felt disappointed and discontented in all areas of my life.

However, as I've woken up a little bit over the past few years, I discovered two important lessons while seeking out the perfect photo.

First, this same perfectionistic drive was driving all parts of my life. Somewhere along the path of life I had gotten excellence confused with perfection.

I have tried to excel in most everything I do (there a few things I don't really care about nor are all that important, like having a few weeds in the garden).

Today, however, I practice being aware of my intentions and what's driving me. I do the best I can and do my best to accept "what is."

The second lesson, which is a bit more life-changing for me, is about about being versus doing and having.

Someone labeled us as human "beings," not human doings or human havings (neither of which are even proper English, so my spellchecker just told me??).

My experience, however, is that we live in a time that does very little to help us discern between or being, doing and having.

IMHO there is much "do-aholism" and have-alohism." I see clients every week in my counseling practice who are unconsciously being tormented by these irrational driving forces.

Somehow our self-worth and identity have been subtly tied to how well we perform (often driven by unrealistic and unattainable perfectionism) and/or how much "stuff" and what kind of "stuff" we have.

I've been trying to practice my being, since, after all, I am, and we are, human beings.

So as I was out there in the cold cornfield yesterday morning, I caught myself and reminded myself that it's perfectly okay just to be and not have to do, and that the quality of the photographic image I get, or don't get, is not a reflection of who I am or my self-worth.

The more I open myself up to these life lessons, the more life lessons I learn.

So I'll keep shooting and pursuing excellence, while at the same time, do my best to stay open to growth opportunities.

Who woulda thought one could learn so much just from "taking pictures?!"

Curious? Check out my book, Marry YourSelf First!

Also, see my more of my "imperfect" photographic images at https://www.kendonaldsonphotography.com/