Sculpting your destiny

I have mentored over 300 people over 40 years. The common theme that is expressed by most mentees is that where they are in their lives at that time, is not where they wish to “end up” or what they want to accomplish.

They are also vague about the image of what constitutes where they will “end up”, thus making it hard for them to navigate toward such a vague and imprecise destination.

The obvious problem here, is that when you don’t know where you’re going, then every option will be assessed against imprecise criteria.

Over the years, partially as a result of such mentoring, I have developed what I call the 12 Individual Pivot-Point methodology (12IPP). ?This 12IPP has proved enormously powerful in helping people work through their own desires, and then how to achieve them.

The following is a very abridged summary of the 12 Individual Pivot-Points that you should contemplate in order to build a meaningful (to you) map of your desired path toward your definition of your destiny.

Let me add an important point here; despite your best intentions and objectives, life rarely goes perfectly to plan. Things change. People change. Circumstances change. Life changes. And all of that is normal so you’re perfectly entitled to change paths and destinations if that works for you. However, having a clearer view of what you want and how to get there makes it easier to achieve, regardless of the nature of the destination.

IPP-1: Having clarity of your objectives.

• We each have a limited time on earth: therefore right now is the earliest possible time we can start to determine our tomorrow.
• We are each different.
• We have options and choices.
• We may have multiple objectives. For example, career, financial, family, leisure, hobbies, helping others, sport, travel, and so on. There are no right or wrong here, apart from being legal, ethical, and moral.
• Accept that you can determine your destiny.
• Your self-worth should be generated by the respect and love you have for yourself – and not from others. Change your personal reference point from others to yourself.
• Peers, parents, family, school, and employers are all realities and will not disappear. However, your feeling of self-worth must triumph over the external influences that may make you feel less than you should.
• Make your current situation a steppingstone and not a destination.
• We all have difficulty in separating head and heart: therefore allow your heart to shape your objectives but allow your head to choose the path to it.
• We are all affected, more or less, by fear of failure and loss.
• The thinking that got you to where you are today may not be the thinking that will take you to where you want to be to achieve your objectives.
• The future does not have to resemble the past.
• You must enjoy the journey since some journeys are so long that some of us won’t survive to reach our objectives. If you haven’t enjoyed the journey and not reached your objectives, ?then what were life’s sacrifices for?
• Work with the realities of life: family, economy and society to achieve your objectives – rather than working “against the tide”.
• Learn to differentiate between the enablers (means to achieve) and the objectives you are pursuing.
• Be prepared to allow others to help you achieve your objectives. Which will it be – your pride or your fulfilled objectives?

IPP-2: Be specific about your objectives - know when you’ve achieved them or whether you’re tracking towards achieving them. If you “just want to be happy, then what does “happy” mean? How will you tell if you are happy? For example, if you want to have an adequate income, then is that $1000 per week or is it $100,000 per week? The difference will impact what you need to do. If your objective is to own a house, then is it a house with 1 bedroom worth $250,000 or is it a 40- hectare country property worth $10 million. The difference will impact what you need to do to achieve the objective.

IPP-3: In what environment are you going to be active in order to achieve your objectives? Are you going to be active in the farm sector, or education, or science, or manufacturing, or technology, or any of hundreds of other options. This is the environment that will help you achieve your objectives. Research to understand the nature of the environment you select.

IPP-4: Be clear about specific skills and talents that you need or that will best enable you to achieve your objectives? If for example, you wish to teach high school students, then you need specific qualifications in your preferred subjects and in the teaching process. If you want to be a space scientist, then you will need science qualifications. If you want to be a business leader, then having business qualifications will help you achieve that ambition. Research to understand what is required to achieve your objectives from the environment you have selected.

IPP-5: Understand the best channels and contexts to be able to “play” in your chosen environment with your chosen skills and talents to achieve your objectives. How will you become known? How will you become aware of opportunities that are right for you? How does the channel “work”? As an example, do you need to start “hanging out” at the same places and times as key people in the environment you seek? Are there issues associated with access to your chosen environment? Research and understand your options.

IPP-6: If you are able to get the skills and talents you desire to play in your chosen environment, then what ongoing support and activities do you need to adopt to maintain and advance your objectives? For example, do you need additional qualifications, or articles adopted by specific journals, or take out a golf membership, or other ways to be seen and recognised by those who matter and who can affect your destiny?

IPP-7: Start sculpting your personal brand so that when people think of you, they will think of you in your chosen environment applying your skills and talents which will achieve your objectives. Develop your “elevator pitch” that reflects who you are, what you do, and the benefits that you deliver.

IPP-8: Find someone independent who can mentor you about all the issues that you will face on your journey. You will need someone to talk to. This needs to be someone you trust and who will support and advise you with only one consideration – your best interest.

IPP-9: Research and determine the technologies, systems, and processes that will help you and your ability to advance your objectives. Do you need a new computer? Do you need certain software applications? Do you need to learn how to code? Is there a process that if you adopted it, would help you with efficiency and effectiveness (or other aspects of required activity)?

IPP-10: Determine how to better manage yourself to make the journey easier, more enjoyable, and more likely to be successful. Things like your physical health, mental health, exercise, eating habits, leisure habits, drinking habits, entertainment preferences, reading preferences, and so on. All of these things can help or hinder you in your journey.

IPP-11: On a regular basis, review your journey’s progress to satisfy yourself that you’re “on track” to achieve your objectives. If not, review your IPP decisions to see which decisions need to be changed to achieve your objectives – and make the changes needed but ensure that the subsequent impacts on the other IPPs are thought through and carefully considered.

IPP-12: When you are satisfied that all your IPP decisions will give you your objectives, then that represents your plan for your journey to achieve your objectives. To reinforce this, develop a schematic using a hand-drawn sketch or photo or digital image for each IPP. Print or load the document or image onto your laptop or phone and keep it with you always - and refer to it often.

If you’ve got any questions don’t hesitate to ask me at [email protected] .

If you would like me to run a workshop session for a group of people, then let’s talk about it.