Screw “Performance” (I said what I said)

There’s a buzzword we like to toss around in the business world that fills workshops, sells books and coaching programs, and drives people to push their limits.?

That word: Performance.

High performance, peak performance, performance optimization—the list goes on.?

But in sharing about a stressful situation at work, a one-to-one coaching client recently said something that ripped the lid off why, as a coach and consultant, I’ve never felt as connected to this word as I “should,” given the amount I use it, too.

Performance, in its essence, is about putting on a show.?

It’s about presenting a version of ourselves that we think others will applaud and celebrate. It often means dressing in ways that conform to expectations, speaking in tones that resonate with what's popular or acceptable, and acting in ways that fit a certain mold.

But what happens when the curtain falls??

When the lights dim and the audience goes home, what’s left of the person behind the performance? Too often, I find they feel exhausted, unfulfilled, and disconnected.

In my work with high-achieving humans—executives, entrepreneurs, and leaders—I see this dissonance play out all. the. time.?

My clients are masters of performance.?

They’ve honed their public personas to perfection.?

But behind closed doors, they struggle with stress, burnout, self-doubt, and a pervasive sense of inauthenticity.

In other words, their nervous systems are shot because consistently forcing yourself to show up as someone you’re not sends red alert signals to your stress system.

Consider this:?

Are you walking around in clothes that are uncomfortable, both literally and metaphorically??

Are you embodying labels—whether positive or negative—that others put on you, dressing up in brands that signify success, and speaking in ways that align with the image you think you need to project?

And then only when you’re alone do you finally undo the button on those “too-tight” jeans or dress pants and take a breath?

(If you even remember to do that.)

If your external persona often comes at the cost of your internal comfort and authenticity, you’re not alone.?

What to do instead.

What if we shifted the focus from performance to presence? From putting on a show — to showing up as our true selves?

Based on what I’ve experienced working with clients to rehab their nervous systems, and traveling my own chronic stress healing journey, I’m convinced this is how we finally get to feel freakin’ fantastic while also doing the big work and living the big lives we desire.

Authenticity means embracing who we are, without the masks and pretenses. It means valuing ourselves not for how well we can perform, but for how genuinely we can be present in each moment.?

This approach fosters a deeper connection with ourselves and others, reducing stress and enhancing our overall quality of life.

In the high-pressure careers and lives that many of my clients navigate, our culture celebrates the ability to perform under stress.?

But performance under stress is a short-term strategy.?

It might win you a few rounds, but it doesn’t lead to sustainable success.?

True, lasting success comes from a place of authenticity and well-being. When we’re our true selves, we’re more creative, resilient, and fulfilled. Our actions come from a place of passion and purpose, not from a need to impress or conform.

Take a beat to consider the idea of burnout immunity.?

What if the antidote to burnout isn’t found in more productivity hacks or time management tools (spoiler: it’s 100% not), but in a deeper, more authentic connection with ourselves??

By aligning our actions with our values and desires, we create a life that doesn’t drain us but lights us up. We foster an internal environment where stress doesn’t take root because we’re not constantly at odds with ourselves.

To all my high-achievers and high-performers, let me be clear:?

This isn’t about sacrificing success or being satisfied with mediocre results.?

My problem with “performance” is that it often leads us away from our true selves. It encourages us to wear masks and play roles that aren’t truly ours.?

Instead, let’s value showing up over showing off.?

You’ll not only enhance your health and well-being, but also unlock your true potential for success without sacrifice and ambition without burnout.?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. How do you balance performance and authenticity in your life and work? Share your experiences in the comments below.

Hi, I’m Rebecca Vigelius. Burnout Coach + Consultant for High-Achieving Professionals and founder of Rested Edge Wellness.

After a long, complicated journey back from chronic stress and burnout — it’s my mission to make yours faster and far less complex.

Going beyond stress management, I help you harness the power of your nervous system to get BIG results without burning out.

Whenever you’re ready to give up quick fixes and finally stop struggling, here’s how I can help:

1. Join The Rested Edge weekly’ish newsletter ??

You’ll get insights, ideas, and practical strategies to help you with overwhelm, overthinking, over-committing, and more. ?

2. Secure your spot inside Breaking Up With Burnout ??

This on-demand 7-day audio + text accelerator program will turn your struggle with stress on its head and help you come roaring back to life with inner fire.

??Save 40% when you register before July 6th. ?

3. Start showing up with your Rested Edge and Fully Alive for yourself, your people, and your career??

Whether through the transformative container of 1:1 support or among a community of high-achieving women who know what it’s like to “want it all” without having to sacrifice their relationships or well-being, I’ve got you.

Send me a DM or email me at [email protected] , tell me you’re done with the struggle, and we’ll talk potential next steps.