Scotland not a bad CV - Wha's Like Us - Damn Few and They're A' Deid!!
The average Englishman, in the home he calls his castle, slips into his national costume, a shabby raincoat, patented by chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.
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?En route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.?
?He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop of?Dreghorn, Scotland, arrives at the station and boards a train, the forerunner of which was a steam engine, invented by James Watt of?Greenock,?Scotland.
?He then pours himself a cup of coffee from a thermos flask, the latter invented by Dewar, a Scotsman from Kincardine-on-Forth.
At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by James Chalmers of?Dundee,?Scotland.
During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in?Edinburgh,?Scotland.
At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, blacksmith of?Dumfries,?Scotland.
He watches the news on his television, an invention of John Logie Baird of?Helensburgh,?Scotland, and hears an item about the U.S. Navy, founded by John Paul Jones of?Kirkbean,?Scotland.
He has by now been reminded too much of?Scotland?and in desperation he picks up the Bible only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot, King James VI, who authorised its translation.
Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots. He could take to drink, but the Scots make the best in the world.
He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick of?Pitfours,?Scotland.
If he escapes death, he might then find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin, which was discovered by Alexander Fleming of?Darvel,?Scotland, and given an anaesthetic, which was discovered by Sir James Young Simpson of Bathgate,?Scotland.
Out of the anaesthetic, he would find no comfort in learning he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of?Dumfries,?Scotland.
Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask "Wha’s Like Us".
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