The Scientific Reason Why You Don't Attract What You Want

To listen to the audio version, click here.

To watch the EXTENDED YouTube version, click here.

The law of attraction, a powerful concept that has gained popularity in recent years, suggests that we attract into our lives what we believe we are worthy of.

This idea has captivated the minds of many, sparking a wave of personal development and self-improvement journeys.

While the law of attraction has its sceptics, a growing body of evidence and countless personal stories support the idea that our beliefs about our worthiness play a significant role in shaping our reality.

In this week’s article, I'll explore the concept of attracting what you believe you are worthy of in-depth. I'll delve into the psychology behind it, provide practical tips to shift your beliefs and raise your self-worth, and offer real-life examples to illustrate how this principle operates in our lives.

You can watch the extended version of this article on my YouTube channel.

The Power of Beliefs

Our beliefs are the lenses through which we view the world. They shape our thoughts, emotions, actions, and, ultimately, our reality.

Regarding self-worth, our beliefs about ourselves can be particularly influential. These beliefs are often formed during childhood and are deeply ingrained in our subconscious minds.

They can be positive or negative, and they profoundly impact our self-esteem, confidence, and the opportunities we attract.

If you believe you are worthy of success, love, and happiness, you are more likely to pursue these goals with determination and confidence. Conversely, if you hold beliefs of unworthiness or self-doubt, you may inadvertently sabotage your own efforts or settle for less than you deserve.

The Psychology of Self-Worth

To understand why you attract what you believe you are worthy of, it's important to explore the psychology behind self-worth and beliefs. Here are some key psychological principles at play:

1. Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

Psychologist Robert Merton introduced the concept of self-fulfilling prophecies, which refers to a belief or expectation that influences a person's behaviour in such a way that it causes that belief or expectation to come true.

In the context of self-worth, if you believe you are worthy of success, you are likelier to take actions that lead to success, thus fulfilling your belief.

2. Confirmation Bias

People tend to seek out and interpret information in a way that confirms their existing beliefs.

If you believe you are worthy of love and respect, you are more likely to notice and remember instances where people treat you with love and respect, reinforcing your belief.

3. Emotional Resonance

Our emotions are powerful indicators of our beliefs. When you believe you are unworthy, you may experience negative emotions such as anxiety, self-doubt, and fear. These emotions can create a self-perpetuating cycle that attracts more negative experiences, reinforcing your belief in your unworthiness.

4. Self-Concept Theory

Psychologist Carl Rogers developed the self-concept theory, which theorises that people have an innate drive to maintain consistency between their self-concept (how they see themselves) and their experiences.

If you believe you are worthy of success, you will strive to align your experiences with that belief, making success more likely.

Practical Steps to Raise Your Self-Worth

Now that we've explored the psychology behind self-worth and beliefs let's discuss practical steps to raise your self-worth and attract the life you desire:

1. Self-Reflection

Begin by examining your beliefs about yourself. What do you believe you are worthy of in terms of love, success, happiness, and other aspects of life? Be honest with yourself about any negative or limiting beliefs you hold.

In the video version of this article, I explain a simple, effective exercise for uncovering your limiting beliefs and a process for creating more empowering ones.

2. Challenge Negative Beliefs

Identify and challenge negative beliefs that no longer serve you. Ask yourself if there is evidence to support these beliefs or if they are merely assumptions. Replace them with positive and empowering beliefs.

3. Affirmations

Use daily affirmations to reinforce positive beliefs about your self-worth. However, I have mixed emotions about affirmations. For them to work for me, I need to believe them.

Just saying, ‘I’m enough’ is not good enough for me! Again, in the extended version, I discuss making affirmations work for you in more detail.

4. Visualisation

Visualise yourself living the life you desire. Imagine the success, love, and happiness you want to attract. Visualisation is proven to affect sports performance positively, but we don’t often carry it over into other aspects of our lives.

Here’s the thing: our brains can’t tell the difference between something real and something vividly imagined. Think about reading a book. What you’re reading isn’t happening to you right there and then. It may not even be real, yet you experience the emotions as if they were.

When we visualise with intensity (again, I describe the process in the extended version), it can help align our beliefs with our desired reality.

5. Surround Yourself with Positivity

Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Positive relationships can reinforce your belief in your worthiness.

Also, be aware of what you consume, e.g. news, social media, films, TV, games – they all feed into our view of the world and affect our mood and emotions.

6. Set Goals

Set clear, achievable goals that align with your positive beliefs. Taking action towards these goals will reinforce your self-worth and attract opportunities.

Real-Life Examples

To illustrate the concept of attracting what you believe you are worthy of, let's look at a few real-life examples:

1. Career Success

Imagine two individuals with similar qualifications and skills applying for the same job. One believes they are highly capable and deserving of success, while the other harbours self-doubt and believes they are not good enough.

The first person's confidence and belief in their worthiness will likely shine through in interviews, leading to a higher chance of getting the job.

2. Relationships

Consider two people looking for love. One believes they are lovable and deserving of a healthy, loving relationship, while the other has low self-esteem and doubts their worthiness. The person who believes they are lovable is more likely to attract partners who treat them with love and respect.

3. Financial Abundance

Two entrepreneurs start businesses in the same industry. One believes they are capable of achieving financial success, while the other is plagued by self-doubt and fear of failure.

The first entrepreneur's belief in their worthiness drives them to take calculated risks, make bold decisions, and ultimately achieve financial abundance.

The Wrap Up

The idea that we attract what we believe we are worthy of is a powerful concept that underscores the importance of self-worth and beliefs in shaping our lives.

Our beliefs about ourselves profoundly impact our thoughts, actions, and the opportunities we attract.

By raising your self-worth, challenging negative beliefs, and aligning your beliefs with your desired reality, you can harness the power of the law of attraction to create a life that reflects your true worthiness.

Remember that changing beliefs and increasing self-worth is a journey that takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and stay committed to cultivating positive beliefs that empower you to attract the life you deserve.

In doing so, you can unlock your full potential and manifest the abundance, success, and happiness you are truly worthy of.

What Next?

Again, I got into much more detail in the extended YouTube version of this article. I've put time stamps, so you can head to the part that's of most interest to you. Click here to watch.

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