Sciences Have Proven Human Like To Complicate Things

My bachelor’s degree is in chemistry. In my studies, I dealt with many complex structures and reactions daily. Back then, we had to write all our reports by hand, and I didn’t really understand why. It seemed like a lot of work and not very efficient.

My lecturer noticed that many students were simply copying and pasting without really reading the content. So, they believed that writing things by hand, even if the students imitated them exactly, would help us remember some of the information better.

One day, one of the lecturers asked us to type our assignment. Because we often write by hand, it was challenging to draw complex structures and reactions on a computer. Most of us used ChemDraw to draw complex structures, which took a lot of time.

Finally, one of my friends had a clever idea and used existing structures from our textbook, making small modifications to complete the assignment faster.

This is just one simple example of how we tend to complicate things sometimes. A study shows that people tend to prefer solutions that add features rather than remove them, even if removing features would be more efficient.

You might have heard this affirmation a lot

“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.” — Jerzy Gregorek

It can be true in some situations when we need to step out of our comfort zone and try something new.

But I’ve also seen many times that people use this quote in the wrong way, thinking that choosing the harder option will always lead to an easier life. Life can be unpredictable, and sometimes even when we make tough choices, things may not turn out as easy as expected.

Often, when faced with a big problem, we struggle to believe that the solution could be as simple as it is. We unconsciously think ‘more complicated’ means ‘better.’ This phenomenon is known as complexity bias.

Abel-Jan Tasman PD Dr. Med. from Kantonsspital St. Gallen explains many surgeons prefer to reshape the tip even when it looks fine. Apparently, they believe adding complexity to their procedures can impress others and improve their reputation.

In his study, he also explained that rhinoplasty doesn’t always have to be very complex. Sometimes, opting for a less invasive approach can be just as effective.

Here are some helpful codes that I’ve discovered along the way.

Hierarchy of Goals

I forget when is the last time I set an annual resolution. I ever did it several times, but it often felt overwhelming and impossible to achieve. In the end, the resolution just makes me more discouraged every time.

Looking back, I see that I used to cram all my dreams into one year, which wasn’t reasonable. I used to pressure myself unnecessarily from the beginning, and when I couldn’t achieve my goals, I felt inadequate and blamed myself more.

The lesson I’ve learned is: You can’t have everything all at once.

I have a lot of wishes on my list, but right now, I’m focusing on three that mean the most to me.

The concept of the hierarchy of goals is to prioritize in a structured manner, where some goals serve as stepping stones or support for achieving higher-level goals. So, now I choose financial security as my first concern so that in the near future, I can achieve the other two things I wanted the most as well.

I am eager to continue my education as soon as possible, but it’s always getting delayed because of other things I must prioritize. But I slowly understand I can’t rush my desires no matter how I desperately want them. So, I’m going to focus on pursuing my other goals first until I get a chance for it.

Takeaway

Some things are destined to be slow, and you can’t speed them up. Instead, focus on the things you can control.

No goal is too big

In high school, the idea of studying abroad seemed far-fetched and out of reach for me. It was my high-achieving friend who had that dream, and I thought it was something only extraordinary people could achieve. But a couple of years later, I received an offer letter from the University of Glasgow in the UK.

However, I can’t take it because I needed a scholarship to cover the expenses. The currency exchange rate was too high compared to my country, and my parents aren't crazy rich.

Also, during my college days, Medium was a platform I frequented to find inspiration and enhance my English skills. I admire the various writers there because the random posts I stumbled upon on Medium were always fascinating. Little did I know that years later, I would become one of the authors myself.

In the past, I thought many things were impossible to achieve, but surprisingly later, I got that chance. The key was to simply try.

Looking back, I wish I had known this code earlier. Maybe then, I could have achieved some of my dreams sooner. Unfortunately, in the past, I was too pessimistic and doubted myself before even trying.

If there’s a dream that seems impossible to you now, don’t be discouraged. It could be that you just haven’t learned enough about how to make it happen.

Takeaway

Instead of just wondering, take action and give it a try. You won’t know if it’s possible until you put in the effort to achieve it.

No need to dish out advice if nobody’s asking

My best friend caught her boyfriend cheating on her several times, but she kept forgiving him repeatedly.

Because I care about her, I convinced her to just break up because there are much better guys out there. They broke up, but later, she got back with him without telling me.

One day, she called me, almost crying, saying he cheated on her again. I didn’t say anything and just listened to her. She said she was afraid I’d get mad if I found out she forgave her ex again.

I was frustrated because she was making a foolish decision for a guy, and I knew she deserved better. But I also realize I might have made her uncomfortable with my interference, which is why she didn’t tell me when she forgave her ex again.

I learned that we can’t change someone’s mind if they don’t want to change. Some people prefer to learn from their own experiences, even when they know they were wrong from the beginning.

Takeaway

If someone wants our advice, they’ll likely ask for it, and until then, it’s best to give them the freedom to make their own choices.

Mean what you say

It took years for me to become a clear communicator. In the past, I don’t know how many times I complicate things that are actually easy.

These are some of the complications that I can still vividly recall.

Story 1. I still remember when I was a kid, I was often afraid to speak my mind honestly. Whenever my father took me to his friend’s store, he would offer to buy me clothes if I liked any. I felt guilty saying no because I didn’t want to disappoint his friend, who owned the store. So, sometimes I would reluctantly say yes to a piece that the owner recommended as good. However, when I got home, I didn’t feel like wearing it at all.

Story 2. As a kid, my mom used to give me warm milk every morning before school. Though I liked milk, I didn’t want it daily. Instead of telling her, I poured the milk down the sink and pretended I drank it. When I finally confessed this to her years later, she was disappointed, as the money spent on milk could have been used for other things.

Story 3. I used to save the best for the last. So I ate only vegetables and rice while I wanted to enjoy my spicy meat after. One day, my aunt mistakenly took my favorite meat, which was almost untouched, because she thought I didn’t like it. I couldn’t express my feelings at that moment, but I was really upset inside.

Many other situations in life are similar, and I’ve realized that things would be much simpler if I just expressed what I truly want.

Takeaway

Remember, people can’t read your mind, so communicate and explain what you want clearly. Take it easy and be true to yourself.

You know your plate’s exact size

So, there are times when I still have stuff to do, and I tell my friends they can head home first.

However, my friend insists on staying, saying, “Okay, I’ll wait.”

Although they verbally agreed to wait, their actions seemed to indirectly rush me. They frequently ask questions like “Are you still long?” or “Are you done yet?” Even when I propose that they leave and I’ll catch up later, they decline, repeating that they don’t mind waiting.

When I mentioned, “It seems like it will take longer time. Do you want to go first?” they would reply, “No, it’s okay, I’ll wait.”

After a little while, it happened again. They kept fidgeting, and checking the clock made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I never asked them to wait for me in the first place, though.

Next time I’ve changed my approach. Instead of saying, “I still have to be here,” I will now firmly say, “Don’t wait for me,” because I don’t want to repeat the same situation.

I know my friends actually don’t want to wait because they are tired and want to go home soon. But they just felt guilty for leaving me alone.

Takeaway

Know your capacity. Don't take more than you can eat on your plate.

Do not change the (.) to (?)

When we lose something or someone valuable, we usually go through a phase called denial. It’s during this phase that I tend to overanalyze the situation and play many “what if” scenarios in my head.

Everything is gonna be easier when I hear these sentences randomly

If God has given a dot, don’t turn it into a question mark!

I’m not sure who is credited for this quote, but I heard it first time from Merry Riana, one of the motivational speakers that popular in Indonesia.

Takeaway

What has passed, we can never change. So, focus on the present, which you can control

For any problem, the more you can zoom out and embrace complexity, the better chance you have of zooming in. — Eric Berlow