The science, wisdom, and purpose of kindness.

3 reasons why I’m going long on kindness these days; the first is selfish, the second altruistic, and the third deeply personal.?

1. Science proves that by being kinder we become happier and healthier ??
2. Leaders and men can role model more kindness ????
3. If we make the world kinder, we will reduce the rate of suicide ??

The purpose of this article is to explain the logic and significance of these 3 reasons, so let’s jump in.

1. Science proves that by being kinder we become happier and healthier ??

There is an abundance of scientific evidence proving that completing acts of kindness improves your mental health.?

According to Healthdirect Australia (a national public health information service funded by the commonwealth, state, and territory governments), small acts of kindness can have enormous power for both the person being kind and the recipient. Whether that’s a stranger or someone you know completing the act of kindness. Studies have discovered that kindness, compassion, and giving are associated with:

• Improved happiness
• Good mental health
• A stronger immune system
• Reduced anxiety, stress and depression
• Improved relationships
• A longer life

The science tells us that when we complete an act of kindness it releases serotonin and dopamine in our brains. Both these neurotransmitters are commonly referred to as ‘happy hormones'. Serotonin regulates our mood and is associated with feelings of happiness, focus, and calm. Dopamine regulates our levels of motivation and is associated with feelings of reward and productivity.?

If you need more convincing, according to the Harvard Business Review* kindness at work contributes to reducing employee burnout and absenteeism, and improves employee wellbeing. Decades of research has shown that receiving a compliment, words of recognition, and praise (simple acts of kindness) can help individuals feel more fulfilled, boost their self-esteem, improve their self-evaluations, and trigger positive emotions. A word of praise can also increase feelings of self-worth.

*SOURCE - HBR article: Don’t underestimate the power of kindness at work. Published May 07, 2021 by Ovul Sezer,? Kelly Nault,? and Nadav Klein

2. Leaders and men can role model more kindness ????

Whilst science proves the power and importance of being kind, in some environments showing kindness is seen as a sign of weakness.?

Growing up in the 80’s and 90’s I was lucky enough to experience a lot of love and kindness. However, looking back I remember moments in time when bullying, unhealthy competition, and toxic masculinity were pervasive. I remember being bullied and sometimes being the bully.? Jump ahead to the 2020’s and whilst no longer the perpetrator, sometimes, I am sure like you I see and hear of bullying and unkindness.

The purpose of this article is not to unpack the many and complex societal, cultural, and causal factors which enable bullying, unhealthy competition, and toxic masculinity.? Instead, my purpose is to acknowledge that these problems exist, and suggest a simple solution that anyone can contribute to (and at the same time improve yourself and your community). That simple solution is to complete more acts of kindness ??!? Here are a few suggestions to get you started:?

• Greet and then ask someone, that you don’t normally speak to, how they’re going
• Tip a waiter a little bit extra
• Tell a friend or family member one thing that they do that you appreciate
• Make a donation to a worthy cause
• Smile as you let someone cut in front of you in traffic (this is one of my favourites)
• Ask a mate ‘RU OK?’
• Pick up rubbish that isn’t yours
• Smile at a stranger (but not in a weird way)
• Do a helpful task, that you wouldn’t normally do, at home or in the office
• Share a positive post on social media (maybe this article ??!)
• Giving something away that you no longer need

Note: If you’d like to join me and others on the 100MM Challenge kicking off on the 3rd of July (100+ acts of kindness in 100 days), you’ll find the link at the end of this article.?

3. If we make the world kinder, we will reduce the rate of suicide ??

Having lost 4 close mates to suicide in 30 years, more than most I recognise that suicide is complex, and every situation can be different*.? Taking that complexity into consideration, and that I will never know all the causal factors that led to my mate’s and brother fighting and losing their battles, I believe that if the world we grew up in was kinder, the good men we lost would still be with us today (and many others).?

Some of you may be thinking that's a big call, however, it’s a belief that when I dig deep, it unpins almost everything I do. It’s an opinion that is based on my 30+ years lived experience, and lessons learned over the past 5+ years as I studied what makes some hyper-successful people live content and healthy lives (and some not).?

The science tells us that kindness can make a difference, so I’ll wrap this section of the article up with a simple question: why not??

* Mental health conditions are complex and can be self-harm risk factors. Importantly, if someone has multiple risk factors that does not mean that they will have thoughts of, or intentionally self-harm. Mental health conditions are treatable, support is available, and recovery is real. You are not alone. If you need support, in Australia call Lifeline on 13 11 14, in NZ 0800 54335. In addition, a great charity OneWave has links and support resources available on their ‘need help’ page here.

So, there you have it, 3 reasons why I’m starting to intentionally act with more kindness:

1. Science proves that by being kinder we become happier and healthier ??
2. Leaders and men can role model more kindness ????
3. If we make the world kinder, we will reduce the rate of suicide ??

If you’d like to join me on one of the easiest and most transformational challenges that you’ll ever do, check out our Facebook Group here: (2) 100 acts of kindness in 100 days to become a better huMan. | Facebook

It’s free and the first cohort on the Challenge kickstarts on the 3rd of July! If you’re not on Facebook, or simply curious check out any of my recent posts on the 100MM Challenge (100+ acts of kindness in 100 days to become a better huMan) or dm me.

Cheers, Gareth

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