The Science of a Successful, Fulfilling Life

This newsletter is my gift to you, my friend. A gift of science-based insights to help you achieve what you want in this life, without unwanted stress.

People have searched for ages to find the “magic elixir” to cure all ailments and give long life. Or, even better: a magic way to bring riches and wealth! This burning desire to find the elusive secret to success has driven many people to explore their world in unexpected ways. However, no one takes the mountaintop guru seriously when he says: “The answer is within”.?

If this sounds like the start of a movie trailer, my friend, it’s only because I have a sense of humor. In reality, there is a science to living a more successful and fulfilling life. It doesn’t require mythical beasts, lost civilizations, crazy adventures, or magic pills. The ‘secret’ lives between your ears. It’s called: your brain.

In this month’s article, I will share how one, very important, network in your brain can help you live a more enriched life, or not, depending on how you use it. The good news is that it is incredibly easy to use for your own benefit. It is also one of the most critical networks in your brain that drives how you experience in life.?

If you are interested in experiencing more of what you want in life ?(versus what you don’t want), keep reading!

The Brain’s Gatekeeper

At the base of your brain, in the brain stem, lives a tightly knit bundle of neurons (nerves) that play an incredibly important role in how you experience life. It is called the Reticular Activating System, or RAS for short. Like most neural networks, it plays several vital functions. One of those is to ensure that the brain does not have to process more data than it can handle.

Its role is to pay attention to some things while ignoring others. This sounds basic enough and no big deal. However, this is actually where things become interesting, my friend.?

You receive around 11 million bits of information per second, on average, from sensory input. Once this information is filtered through your RAS - you consciously interact with between 4-14 bits of information (give or take a few bits).?

That is a serious decrease in information! The reason is simple. No human can consciously manage that much sensory data. You would go insane if your RAS did not function properly.

So, what determines what it filters in or out? It filters data to your conscious mind based on your perception of life and your priorities, among other things (like staying alive).?

There is a saying; “Be careful what you wish for - you might get it”. The RAS doesn’t grant wishes like Genie. However, it filters into your consciousness what you focus on, even if it’s something you don’t want.?

If you wonder about this - have you ever been in the market for a new car or just purchased a new vehicle? Suddenly, you see that car everywhere! It’s not that there are more Toyota Camrys out there, your RAS is paying attention to them. Now that your RAS is attuned to this car, you notice what was originally filed away from your conscious mind.?

On the other hand, if you are convinced that your mother in-law doesn’t like you or a coworker is out to get you - it is equally likely that your RAS will filter in information aligned with your belief.?

In short, my friend - it is incredibly important to focus on what you want in life, not what you don’t. Your RAS also plays a big role in providing “proof of concept”. If you think a certain way or believe something to be true (even if it isn’t), your RAS will be on the alert for proof. Scarily, it will also ignore evidence to the contrary.

This is one of the reasons why most personal transformations come as a result of major interventions. Our hardwiring is designed to prove us right, even if being ‘right’ hurts us. It doesn’t have to be this way though!

More of What You Want

Living a life filled with more of what you want to experience is incredibly easy - except for the unlearning part.?

In essence, all you have to do is focus your attention, emotional energy, and mindset on what you want in life. It’s not that you are ignoring issues that come up. Rather, you are managing them and navigating challenges without it upsetting your equilibrium. By maintaining a reasonable emotional balance and light mental focus on what you want, your RAS will pay attention to things that align with that state.

However … you, like me, probably have lived a few years before you read this. Chances are, you (like me) have also created some mental programs that run on autopilot. These programs may or may not serve you. Your world view, preconceived notions, expectations, biases, and what you are focused on drives what your RAS pays attention to (and therefore what you experience.)

With that said, we have a little bit of unlearning to do, my friend. You may be relieved to know that there is an uncomplicated way to filter in more of what you want to experience.

Get Clarity First

It is incredibly important to get clarity about what you want in your life. How you want to feel, what you want to do - actions, activities, who you want to be around, how you want to BE.

I encourage my coaching clients not to obsess about the details. If you do, it makes the RAS filter out a lot more information. How something happens is not as important as how you want to feel. In fact, the emotion about a goal or state of being?is the most important part.

Aligned clarity is essential. It is common for people to prioritize what they think society wants them to be, try to outdo a sibling, measure up to college buddies, or live for someone else’s expectations. Aligned clarity comes from your core. Who you are, inside.?

Most of my coaching focuses here. Once you know what your true purpose is and what brings you fulfillment, your RAS can filter IN information aligned with this. You will not ever feel successful if you achieve goals that are not connected to who you ARE.

Interestingly, very few people reflect on their lives and even fewer challenge their mindset to ensure alignment with their goals. We blame “being busy” as a reason not to reflect or take the time to better understand themselves. However, the cost of buzzing through life without a sense of core purpose and clarity in goal alignment is a recipe for unhappiness.?

Challenge Your Assumptions

Once you have gained clarity and better understand an aligned purpose: challenge your mindset, worldview, and beliefs. A mental state that drifts through life without reflection, maintenance, and timely redirection is subject to cognitive drift. When this happens, it is incredibly difficult to successfully engage with the world around you.?

As a starting point, become non-judgmentally curious about your inner landscape. For example; you can set a goal to be promoted, if you have a low sense of self worth, it will be incredibly difficult to accomplish. The root cause of most life challenges comes from within.

Ask yourself: “Is my self-talk supporting or sabotaging my life purpose and who I want to be?” If it is not, you aren’t alone. 100% of all of my clients suffer from negative self-talk. This, like everything I mention below, can be redirected to a more positive and success-supportive state.

How do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as poor, yet you want wealth and to retire early? These two are not in sync. How you see yourself will win every time. It will sabotage your best efforts to get ahead.?

What about your sense of self worth? Do you see yourself as worthy of good things in life or do you secretly feel that you are a bad person? In some cases of early parental neglect, this can be a struggle. The child always takes parental neglect as a fault of their own - that they aren’t good enough.?

What are the words you often choose or common phrases? Do you say that “life is hard” or “money doesn’t come easy”? These are IS statements that shape how you experience your life. I once had a client that often said: “Nothing good ever happens to me”. You can imagine how limiting that statement can be.

Your brain is designed to keep you alive. As an aside, it is also designed to help you accomplish goals and solve problems based on your energetic focus. What you say to yourself, out loud or in your own mind, matters.

As a coach, we are trained to pay attention to what our clients say. Your words, repeated phrases, and emotional anchor points give us insight into the subconscious programs running in the background. Your words and frequent phrases are also reinforcing statements that boost those same programs to make them stronger.

My friend, be careful what you say to you - you are listening.?

Attune Your RAS

Whatever it is that you would like to experience more of or see become a part of your life - I encourage you to attune your RAS to the concept. After much research and testing, I have discovered the most effective and efficient way to help your RAS, help you!

First, I highly recommend having some sense of aligned clarity and at least begin exploring your inner landscape. If you are on the path of personal development, your RAS is much more likely to filter in a life experience that empowers you to live your best life.

The process below can take a 30 minutes or 5 minutes to complete. It depends on your emotional setpoint or the average emotional equilibrium you are currently experiencing. If you are usually anxious, it may take longer.?

Establish a Positive Emotional State

Effectively attuning your RAS is most easily accomplished by having a few thoughts about what you are grateful for. Even better if you have a gratitude practice already established. It is important to have a calm, peaceful, and pleasant emotional setpoint for best results. Research has found that a healthy gratitude practice attunes your RAS in a more positive manner while relieving stress and anxiety.

Early Morning is Easier

I recommend attuning your RAS first thing in the morning, as you awaken. At this time, you are closer to your subconscious mind. Any deeper work is more easily done and much more effective when your brainwaves are closer to the Alpha state.

Connect to the Emotion

Clearly connect to the vibrant emotion of how you feel when you are experiencing what you want more of in your life. Whether that is deeper friendships, a promotion, a fabulous trip, or a loving relationship. It doesn’t matter much what it is or how it will arrive in your life. What matters most is how you will feel.?

Present Tense Wording

This may sound hokey, yet there is a good scientific reason why you want to state what you want to experience in the present tense. This is VERY important! Delete the words “if”, “when”, “some day”, “should’, etc. All of these words will delay the experience - sometimes indefinitely. The parts of the brain that drive these networks are literal and don’t have a concept of time.?

State Your Intent

State what you want to experience clearly and simply. Do not state how it will happen or provide abstract details. Focus only on the pertinent points - the things that matter to your core being. For example: “I am so excited that I’m getting paid at least $____? to collaborate with people I enjoy working with, while doing what I love to do most, and having plenty of personal free time.”?

Another example: “The trip to France with my family is immensely enjoyable, very smooth, and relaxing. I’m excited to experience fun and love!”

These two examples produced results. The first one netted a 25% increase in salary and a client who is thrilled with her job. The second one was an experiment for a client who was previously dreading a trip abroad with extended family. The trip went unexpectedly well, she had a great time, and is now working on another RAS attunement assignment.?

Yet another example is a client who was already doing the inner work and had clarity, however, he didn’t yet have a process yet. When she applied the RAS attunement process - she got a partnership offer in exactly one week at a top-level local clinic doing the work she loves to do.?

Set It and Savor It

Here’s where things can get muddy. When people restate their intent, over and over. Mantras have their purpose. This isn’t necessarily required for RAS attunement - as long as you have the vibrantly intense emotion that you want when you state your intent. If you don’t, I recommend reapplying the process with the emotion that you want to experience.?

When done correctly, you should not have to restate your intent. Set it and savor it. It will resonate in the background of your mind. You can think about how you felt when you stated your intent and savor the wonderful emotion - that’s it.?

Resist the temptation to repeat what you said. Repetition doesn’t always help unless you know that you need to course-correct your intent. Once a RAS is attuned properly, it will merrily filter in the information that aligns with your established priorities.?

Weekly Maintenance Tips

Power Pause Daily for 5-10 minutes. Daydream, doodle, meditate, go for a walk, do the laundry, hum to yourself. Don’t process any information or interact with smart devices - unplug completely for a few minutes. An ideal cadence is three times a day. Pro tip: set a calendar reminder until it becomes a habit. You can learn more about the amazing results of a power pause by downloading the guide here .

Weekly/Daily Reflection is incredibly important. Because we cram every moment full of things to do or smart device engagement - our brains rarely receive time to process daily events.?

Timely Redirection helps keep your emotional anchor state closer to an optimum level of calm and peace. If you feel yourself diving into an unhelpful tailspin of negative thoughts: pause, focus on your breath, change position, smile, look for something you can be grateful for.?

Honor the Emotion, be with it, and move forward. It is not reasonable to expect anyone to be positive all the time. We call that Toxic Positivity and it can include unhealthy emotional repression. My friend, we all have emotions that need to be processed. Be with it, process it, and move forward.?

These tips will help you navigate through life with better emotional equilibrium, clarity, and a more effectively attuned nervous system. When we allow life to sweep us away, ignore our mindset, focus on the negative, and find ourselves adrift on the river of life - the journey can be unpleasant.?

My friends, the upside to a few easy maintenance practices is far too vast to ignore!?

The Science of Success

You might be thinking to yourself: “Yeah, but your brain can’t create something out of nothing.” The truthful answer is; we don’t have scientific evidence of it happening, yet. As we advance in our understanding of our inner world and study of Quantum Physics blurs the lines of what we historically thought is possible - who knows what we'll discover!?

Remember that your RAS filters out the vast majority of information around you every second. That, in tandem with your mindset, can make it seem as if your brain created something out of nothing. In reality, the opportunities were always there, you weren’t aware of them.?

Your mindset drives your micro actions that are often aligned with whatever your RAS is attuned to. That can empower or inhibit you. It will determine whether you exhibit certain behaviors or show restraint. It can make or break interviews, presentations, and critical decisions.?

The result can seem as if magic is happening. It is science, my friend. The science of a successful, and fulfilling life.?

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