The Science of Paying it Forward

Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth — Muhammad Ali

Recently, I had the privilege of engaging in a conversation with a completely stranger in the coaching and leadership consultancy space. His name is Matthew, a person whose generosity of time and spirit left an indelible mark on my perspective. Our exchange was not just a casual chat over the Zoom; it was a profound testament to the power of genuine connection in fostering creativity and innovation.

Matthew's willingness to spend time with me, sharing insights, experiences, and ideas, reminded me of the incredible potential that lies within us all when we open our hearts and minds to others.

Our conversation began with a simple question: "How's your holiday?" Yet, as we delved deeper into the dialogue, it quickly transcended the mundane.

Matthew's genuine interest in my thoughts and experiences created an environment where ideas flowed freely, unburdened by judgment or expectation.

What struck me most was Matthew's unwavering focus on the present moment although even though his dog was occasionally distracting him with its playful antics. He was fully engaged, actively listening, and responding thoughtfully.

People are often hesitant to give compliments. Why? The idea of approaching someone and saying something nice can trigger social anxiety and discomfort, recent research by Erica Boothby and Vanesa Bohns shows. For this reason, we assume people will feel uncomfortable and be bothered by receiving a compliment, when the opposite is true.

As our discussion unfolded, I found myself sharing thoughts and concepts I had long kept buried. It was a reminder that sometimes, all we need to spark our imagination is the attentive ear and empathetic heart of a friend.

What was most remarkable about our conversation was that it extended beyond the boundaries of the intension to connect and genuinely find ways to help each other. His willingness to invest time and energy into helping me see new perspectives and possibilities acted as a catalyst for my own creativity.

This experience served as a poignant reminder that generosity is not solely measured in material terms. The most valuable gifts we can offer are our time, attention, and empathy. In our fast-paced world, these commodities are often in short supply, making them all the more precious.

The ripple effect of ones generosity is a testament to the power of human connection. It has inspired me to pay it forward, to engage more deeply with those around me, and to create an environment where ideas flourish.

This story is not just anecdotal; it is backed by science. Some research show that generosity has positive effects on mental health, such as reducing stress, enhancing well-being, increasing happiness, and improving social relationships:

One of the reasons why paying forward is good for mental health is that it activates the reward system in the brain, releasing chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. These chemicals are associated with pleasure, satisfaction, and bonding

A 2020 study published in the journal Psychological Science found that people who were generous to others were less likely to experience depression and anxiety.

In writing this article, I hope to convey the transformative impact of generosity on creativity and innovation. Matthew's willingness to spend time with me serves as a shining example of how a simple conversation can lead to profound personal and professional growth.

Back in 2018 I started Delenta as a social experiment to test if people would consider sharting their knowlege & expereince for free with one another without any obligation. This idea became a fully fledged tech startup that help 1000s of knowledge shareres over 20 countries. So far, we have completed over 20,000 impctful sessions on Delenta.

Delenta has always been driven by the belief that the world can and should be a better place. We envision a future where coaching and mentoring skills are taught in schools all over the world, so that the remarkable, life-changing results of these services can be shared by everyone, not just a small number of privileged individuals and organisations.

So, let us all take a moment to reflect on the people in our lives who have generously given their time and attention, for they are the unsung heroes of creativity. They are the ones who inspire us to explore the boundless possibilities of our own minds and to share our unique gifts with the world.

Finally, paying forward is not just a catchy phrase! It's a way of honoring and appreciating the kindness and generosity of others.

Think about the people who have helped you and guided you through your life, whether they are your family, friends, mentors, teachers, or strangers.

How did they make a difference in your journey?

How did they inspire you to grow and learn?

How did they make you feel valued and supported?

Take a moment to send them a message of gratitude and recognition. Tag them to this article and show them how much they mean to you. Paying forward is not only good for others, but also for yourself. It can boost your happiness, well-being, and sense of purpose .

Paying forward is a powerful way to create a positive impact in the world, one act of kindness at a time.