The Science of Belonging and Trust

Let’s talk about the science of trust. How much trust does your organization have? This is a question I assess when I first come into a business at because without it the workplace culture and success is seriously challenged.   

How do we trust? To trust someone, especially someone unfamiliar to us (where trust hasn't been developed yet) our brains build a model of what the person is likely to do and why. We use both theory of mind and empathy during every collaborative endeavor. This means both people are always assessing, "Should I trust you?" "How much do you trust me?"  Some of us are innately trusting, seeking positive intent, and putting the We before the Me, but in my experience this is rare unless there has been a lot of internal development of compassion, empathy, and looking for the good of the self and the other. This is why increasing your inner conscious game is so important. 

At work the trust game is highly influenced by leadership because they are modeling what others will follow. When leaders lead with fear and dominance it will not elicit trust or safety in the long run. A boss that berates, threatens or punishes you no matter what will affect your performance. This leads to learned helplessness and employees avoid the fear monger whenever possible and stay invisible by doing the minimum. Dominant behavior, on the other hand, literally hurts the people who are targeted and it can create trauma. 

Neuroscience studies have shown that humans process social rejection and pain in the brains pain matrix even longer than that of physical pain, for example being punched in the gut. We are wired to connect and belong and if we feel we lack trust, safety, and belonging, our survival can feel incredibly threatened and thus suffering lasts. 

You can be the change by modeling something different, speaking up to injustice, creating healthy boundaries, and putting new agreements and systems in place. 

We need conscious leaders more than ever now.  Leaders who are self-aware, emotionally intelligent, compassionate, resilient and authentic.  These leaders are willing to speak truth with care. Leaders and entrepreneurs often feel we must present the image I have it all together and figured out because if you don’t, others might see you as weak, irrelevant or won’t be inspired to follow your lead.  This can often bring up the feelings of unworthiness coupled with the thought “ I am not good enough.” Imagine how you would show up in your work life if you could be authentic and state what you felt and wanted?  

I spend my days supporting leaders in connecting to the deepest parts of themselves. When individuals are connected with their truth, their voice, they create executive presence, and lead from "wholeness". As a result, they communicate with and manage their teams with confidence, while encouraging a culture of belonging. 

When people feel supported to bring their whole, authentic selves to work—the same person they are in their personal lives— belonging is encouraged.  True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are, but to be who you are.  Stephanie Creary is an identity and diversity researcher who found that superior business outcomes are often associated with diverse teams, but this can’t be found without a sense of belonging.   

Want to learn how to lead from wholeness and the science and application of conscious leadership?

SHINE Podcast – Listen Now!

Join me for my new podcast, SHINE- Lead consciously at work and the world. Every month, I interview amazing emerging leaders, business leaders, and game-changers who have developed a conscious inner game to support the emerging paradigm of leadership. I invite my guests to share authentically about the tools, practices, challenges, and heartfelt motivations that support them to shine. These conversations are designed to give you tangible action steps, wisdom, and inspiration to ignite your call to lead and support business to be a force for good in the world.