The Science & Art Of Constructive Feedback

Many many years ago when I was young and innocent, I served all my

opinions and feedback on the SAME platter according to MY palate, naively assuming that was what it meant to be authentic, to be an open communicator. Years later, after being toughened up by society, I realised that whenever someone mentioned that they value 'open communication', they usually mean that they like to be told the-somewhat-truth in a way that they can accept. Otherwise, your attempt to be an open communicator will be deemed as, "blunt", "low EQ", "tactless", "critical", "judgemental" or "ineffective communicator".

Right now, I'd always love a good discussion with anyone who values OPEN COMMUNICATION because their perception can be enlightening.

The Science Behind Receiving Constructive Feedback

When receiving feedback, individuals may experience cognitive dissonance—a psychological conflict from holding two contradictory beliefs. It is natural to feel defensive or upset, however, the key to benefitting from feedback is emotional management.

• Take a few moments to compose yourself
• Take a few more moments to process the feedback that is given

Remember that a conversation can take place to have deeper understanding, to clarify any doubts or misinterpretations but you cannot have a good conversation if your emotions are overpowering you.

No one enjoys talking to someone who is closed-minded, defensive, and highly emotional.

The Art Behind Giving Constructive Feedback

Under almost all circumstances, I believe the essence of giving constructive feedback remains the same:

• It communicates with a clear intention
• It is timely
• It is in the best interests of the receiver

Apply T.H.I.N.K

I like this acronym because it is a good guide for all of us:

T: Is it TRUE?

H: Is it HELPFUL?

I: Is it INSPIRING?

N: Is it NECESSARY?

K: Is it KIND?

The Feedback Sandwich

I do not believe in sugarcoating because there is a tendency for the intended message to be misunderstood. But I do believe that the truth can be told in many ways.

Example:

Step 1: What is something good you observe

Step 2: What is something that you need the person to improve on (+ why is this improvement important)

Step 3: What is the enabling trait that you see in the person

Step 4 (optional): What are the resources that you can provide

Step 5 (ideally): What is the agreed follow-up plan

Becoming Irreplaceable aims to empower fellow professionals to build sustainable and meaningful careers, this is definitely one way for us to increase our own happiness index! It is really about taking the control back.