At school I wanted to be normal. At work I wanted to be gifted.

I scored 99% on the gifted test in elementary school. An administrator who called my mom said, "It would have been 100% but the machine can only print 2 digits." I still remember taking the test, I can see my #2 pencil and the Scantron form. There was a visual puzzle section and I’m a visual learner, I felt like the questions were fun and I wanted more of them. 

My parents asked me if I wanted to join the “Talented And Gifted (TAG)” program at school. All I knew about TAG was that kids had to wear a red notecard pinned to their shirt that said TAG. I saw the kids in the morning waiting to be bussed off to their secret location and again after school getting bussed home. Joining TAG meant leaving my friends and pinning a red card to my shirt. "No thanks."

But at Microsoft it was different.

They had a gifted program called “HiPo” (High Potential) and I was never asked to join the elite group. I always thought I was smart enough. Whenever I would hear about the program I felt a sting in my gut - my pride taking a hit because it reminded me I wasn't at the top of my class. The criteria was never explained to me but I'm sure a pass into the HiPo program wasn't something I could earn with a #2 pencil. 

It was confusing because managers always wanted me on their team, I was called a “secret weapon”, I helped others be successful and I enjoyed that. I was rewarded with 'Gold Star’ awards, got great reviews, raises, bonuses, and promotions. But I was never labeled HiPo.

Contrary to elementary school, I was ready to have that red card on my shirt, to feel like I was being pulled up the ranks. I never got in and I never asked why. It's something nobody ever talked about, we treated it as if it didn't exist - it was easier that way. 

I wonder what I would have heard if I had simply asked "Why not me?"

#WomenInTech #Microsoft

Jessica Jobes is Founder of OnTheGrid a Seattle Marketing Agency.