Schadenfraude: Don't Fall For It

Schadenfraude is defined as the feeling of pleasure at the demise, discomfort or misfortune of another.

And we've all felt it. It was brought to mind earlier this week when I looked across the office and saw several people engaged in what could clearly and only be described as a crisis meeting. I felt relief that it wasn't a problem that affected my team, perhaps a tiny bit of smugness.

When I stopped and thought about that, I genuinely felt a bit ashamed. Why was I feeling pleased that someone else had a problem? I know why, it's an easy answer; it's because it proved to me that I wasn't the only one to ever come across these problems, and that it was part of daily life. But that didn't excuse the way I felt.

I started thinking about how else I could have reacted, and how I might react if I saw or observed the misfortune of others in normal life, outside of the office. Of course, it all depends on your personality, the situation and your own circumstances. For example, if I saw a set of parents trying to make a hyperactive toddler sit down in a cafe, I might feel glad that it wasn't my own daughter, in a kind of 'there but by the grace of God go I' way. If I saw a parent on their own with the a hyper toddler however, I might offer help because although I would be glad it wasn't my own child, I've been there, and it's almost impossible when you're on your own.

But what of other scenarios? Unfortunately it's become a fact of life over the last few years that there may come a time when you are witness to an event that leads to the significant misfortune of others. It's an extreme example of course, but the concept of turning my back or exhibiting any sort of pleasure at the misfortune of someone caught up in a terrorist attack appalls me, and I like to think (thankfully my belief has never been tested) that I would run towards, and not away from, those in need of my help.

So why should it be any different in the workplace? Why, if there may be something I could do to help, should I turn away and feel pleasure that their problem isn't my problem? A problem shared is a problem halved, as the saying goes. In some cases of course, there's nothing I could do to help - I'm an analyst. I'm not overly technical and I can't help if it's a coding problem. But I can liaise, and coordinate, and raise incident tickets if necessary. It's always worth offering my help, surely?

The reality is that schadenfraude, although a perfectly common human response, is detrimental to all of us. If we never offer our help, we can never expect to receive it when we need it ourselves, and ultimately how we react when others are 'struggling' may pre-empt our own downfall. Additionally and on a selfish note, there's no harm in being known as someone who's willing to pitch in and help, or at least offer practical support, when the metaphorical paddle floats away down the creek.

Did I offer my help that day? No. Will I always offer my help in future? No, because there are certain scenarios where I know I will only hinder efforts, or where my asking if there's anything I can do would be misconstrued. But if there is any chance that my help would be in any way helpful - even as tea girl - I will try my best to overcome my natural urge to smirk, and ask if there's anything I can do.

It can't hurt, surely?