THE SCARIEST THING

Someone once asked me what the scariest thing I have ever done was. I remember thinking about it for a minute – I have done some crazy stuff in my life!

When I was eighteen, I worked in a Theme Park in New Jersey and personally tested the very high bungee every day. I also was forgotten by my friend on top of a huge rollercoaster for over an hour. I once decided to ride a broken plane just because I missed my family so much, I couldn’t bare the delay. I constantly fell asleep on night London buses when I was working night shifts in a restaurant, only to wake up in the middle of nowhere – super spooky. I once confronted a robber. I did public speaking. I gave birth… Twice!

But I don’t think any of these moments were my scariest, not even close. The actually most chilling experience for me was to admit that I have issues (no, I am not an adrenalin junkie ??). Often, the most terrifying thing of all is to acknowledge that we are far from perfect, to face our demons, to declare our incompetency to someone, and most importantly, to ourselves.

Admitting vulnerability is the most terrifying thing of all – BOO!!!

But it is important to talk about it. Because only through conversation can we find a resolution.

Can we just stop pretending we are always happy, despite our Instagram posts and cheerful LinkedIn updates?

We are driven by societal constraints to always pretend we are fine. Only happy feelings are welcomed in our society. But I believe all our feelings are equally important, even sad ones. They all serve an invaluable purpose of expression. They make us humane.

Here are a few thoughts on how to cope with anxiety and sadness:

1.?????Don’t bury or mask your feelings. Instead, understand why you are feeling blue. In 90% of the cases, we know the reason. Usually, it is something to do with a mismatch between our expectations and reality ??

2.?????If you can do something to sort out the circumstances which make you sad – do it! (E.g. complete the task which is hanging over your head, have the conversation you are dreading, make up with a friend after a fall out etc.)

3.?????If you can’t change your circumstances, honour your sadness by giving yourself a set time to be sad, e.g. one hour or one day, or maybe even one week. Take as long as you need. It is easier to shake it off after you’ve properly allowed yourself a moment of weakness.

4.?????Do something nice for yourself when you are sad, just as you would for a friend. Make yourself a hot chocolate, run a warm bath, read a lovely book, ask your partner and kids to disappear for an hour and just do nothing – anything that works for you.

5.?????Find your community. Trust me, whatever your reason for sadness is, you are not alone. There are many wonderful communities in your area or online to support you. It helps to speak to someone who knows what you are going through.

And remember, our vulnerability may be the scariest thing to face, but it is also what makes us stronger ??