Scared to share the truth?

I've been sitting here, messaging backwards and forward with an old friend. I would love to say that it started with a higher purpose, but frankly, I was gossiping.

Until I messaged back 'If I wasn't so scared of getting sued or called a liar I would blog about the time...'.

She knows about this story, of course. A story that involved my workplace and a comment from a person in authority that was so out of line, so inappropriate, that I was speechless.

It wasn't sexual harassment, it didn't attack my physical safety.

Just a couple of words.

But it left me speechless.

It left me hurt, upset, angry, betrayed, devastated even.

I immediately started telling myself all the stories I had had reverberating around my head for years;

'Who did you think you were to do that?'

'You were never good enough, they found you out'

'It's all your fault'.

My friend didn't know about that story, didn't know about many of the stories, until many months afterwards.

Once I was removed from the situation, felt safe and secure. Had some perspective once more. Then I felt safe to share.

Because, at that moment, I was so scared and isolated and fearful that I only told one person, my partner, what had happened.

I was too afraid that other people would judge me, would think I was the one in the wrong, that it was just silly little Leah overreacting again.

There is so much power in these stories.

In keeping quiet, in not telling anyone what happened.

There is so much damage to be done my turning inward, by finding fault with ourselves, by blaming.

Those small events serve to undermine our confidence, our ability to perform our jobs at our best level.

It seeps into anxiety, into struggle, into part of the narrative we build around ourselves and our abilities and our talents.

Not smart enough.

Not quick enough.

Not able enough.

Not enough.

Not enough.

Not enough.

A huge part of the work I do with women who are struggling with overwork, with being exhausted, of finding themselves struggling at work, is to lift the lid on those stories.

One of my biggest priorities with working with clients is confidentiality.

I don't put my clients' names on my website, because they may not want people to know that they asked for help.

I check with them before I share *anonymised* versions of their messages of thanks, of support, of praise.

I create private training environments for group programmes, I even have a free private group over on Facebook - but I still find so many women stay quiet and later admit that it's because they were terrified to speak up in case someone knew them, or knew someone who knew them.

This culture of shame and fear that keeps up from admitting that sometimes everything can be working well and not working at all.

That sometimes we feel out of our depth, not in control, exhausted and frustrated and that we're not sure what to do.

Not sharing the stories for fear of what it means about us.

Is this you? Are you holding onto something that happened at work, or multiple events, worried that no-one will understand, no-one will get that you were doing your best, thinking everyone will judge, think badly of you, think you're less than?

I promise you, we all have the same fears.

Isn't it time to open up a little more?

PS I am inviting new private clients to start working with me on a 1:1 level, to lift the lid on the stories snd struggles that are holding you back at work. To start supporting yourself, believing in yourself, creating real sustainability in your career instead of the boom-bust, overwork-exhaustion cycle you've been on.

If you're feeling stuck and struggling and don't know how to move forward, I would like to invite you to spend a simple half-hour talking with me. I will help you get clarity and perspective, to refocus on what is truly important to you.

Confidentiality, flexibility and support are the name of the game here and I don't go in for pushy sales tactics.

Want to know more? Send me a message in confidence, or book a time in my diary to talk by clicking here: https://searchingforserenity.satoriapp.com/offers/144852-laser-intensive