Scared in Job

This anxious feeling to a certain degree is normal … But in your case, it sounds like this is going on for way too long with the result that you got accustomed to your new behavior of avoiding and reached the stage of being paralyzed …

You're not doing what you love.

Jobs tend to be things we have to do and in the main, they're not things we enjoy or have freedom in.

But creating a living on your own terms and doing what you love will motivate you to work every day as well as giving you a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment.

You need to figure out what your ideal job looks like in terms of hours, type of work, pay, responsibility, etc, and either create it or look for something that ticks 80%+ of those boxes - btw, the first truly guarantees excitement and happiness in your work.

I think, what could help you would be to find a course or a group of unemployed people under supervision. Build up your confidence in a group. Set goals that you communicate in the group. Sign a contract with yourself stating for example, that you are going to respond to phone calls.

You need contact with other people that help you change your behavior. Learn from and with others and make time for it. Make applying for jobs a project.

Apply for jobs you don't want but you believe you get an interview. Go to the interview. Learn in this practical situation. Take it seriously. Should you get an offer out of it simply titan it down but the proper way.

Please find the right group and right mentor. Get help.

If you are in a company that does not allow for that type of two-way communication and feedback then probably best to change your job. The last tip though for getting engaged in your work is to set personal goals and track your success. 

You define your success so keep your head up and good luck. If you cannot find any group contact me on my page if you like and I will see what I can do for you to loud better on your own.